


North of Heaven

by dreamha



Category: 30 Seconds to Mars
Genre: Depression, Drug Addiction, Eventual Smut, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-17
Updated: 2016-10-17
Packaged: 2018-08-23 01:19:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 52,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8308234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamha/pseuds/dreamha
Summary: Emily is lost. On the verge of falling into darkness with the promise of no return. She hasn't a penny to her name, only bad habits and bad memories. She needs to be saved. But little does she know, that the man who would save her, also needed saving himself.





	1. ONE

Emily had no clue what the exact time was. All she knew was that it was very hot for that time of night. The Hollywood sky above her was painted black and the air was sticky with humidity so much so that it felt like she was in an exotic country some place else on the globe. The ferocious roar of music and people, the buzzing neon lights and the electrifying energy that downtown Los Angeles promised sparked around her, which left her in amazement as she wasn't even stood in the bustle of it all, yet it still managed to excite her as if she was in the heart of it.

 

Emily had sat herself on a tiny wall that edged what looked like a very private parking lot. The only vehicles she saw before her were big and black and had tinted windows and she had lived in L.A. long enough to know exactly what kind of people would drive around the city in cars like that. The thought made her uncomfortable. There she was, dressed in ripped up black pantyhose, worn out biker boots and a over sized Black Flag t shirt that belonged to an ex boyfriend among a gathering of celebrity carriers, waiting to do something very illegal.

 

 

She was waiting for Benny. She was always waiting for Benny. He was never waiting for her, she was always the one to be stood or sat in the shadows with anxiety festering away inside her, feeling as though she could vomit at any second. It annoyed her that she was always waiting for Benny. The way Emily looked at it, was she was the customer, and he was providing a service. So the fact she was the one who was made to wait in sketchy places, she personally saw that as bad customer service.

 

There was no telling how long it would take Benny to get to Emily so she pulled a cigarette out of the carton that she kept in her bra and lit it. She made a conscious effort to take slow and long pulls so it lasted her a while as she was getting towards the end of the packet and she didn't know when she'd be able to afford any more.

As Emily gazed up at the sky above her, trying to count the faint stars that twinkled momentarily, she heard a group of people approaching faintly. There were too many voices for it to be Benny so she glanced over to see who was there in fear it was the cops or someone with authority coming to quiz her sketchy self. She couldn't quite make out the bodies through the dimly lit light of the lot but she could clearly see there were more girls in the group than boys. All females wore pastel colored dresses with small heels and held tiny clutch bags under their dainty arms, two of the three boys had big sunglasses on and Emily inwardly scoffed at them. It pissed her off that people wore sunglasses at night in L.A. for two reasons; 1. It's night time, they're called sunglasses for a reason and 2. They make you look like a complete fucking tool. The one other boy who wasn't wearing sunglasses in the darkness was wearing all black. Not one hint of color in his outfit. He was one of the tallest members of the group and he had dark hair that was tied back into a small bun at the nape of his neck accompanied with the burliest beard she'd seen in a while. Her eyes followed them across the lot as the group slowly walked towards where Emily was sitting. As they moved closer into her proximity she could study their faces a bit more closely and she couldn't help but recognize the three boys from somewhere.

 

They walked passed Emily, all of them not even noticing she was sat less than a meter away as they passed. Apart from one of them. The one dressed in black with the beard had his eyes locked on Emily as he strode past her. As they looked at each other, Emily noticed that his eyes were blue, but a blue that she'd never seen before. They was almost crystal. Almost like water from a beautiful clear ocean. His eyes somewhat took her breath away.

 

Jared continued to walk on but his eyes never left hers. His head rotated round as he walked past her as if being magnetized by her stare. The first thing he noticed was her hair. Dark brown and curly. It was thick and made her round face look tiny. The second thing he noticed was the eyes. A warm brown color that reminded him of melted chocolate. He wanted to stop. Jared wanted to tell the others to go into the charity event without him just so he could lose himself in those marvellous eyes this woman owned. But he couldn't speak. He was paralyzed by her stare. His mind grew fuzzy as everything around him faded away and this girls eye's were all he could fixate himself on.

 

* * * * *

 

"Yo, Emily?!" His voice boomed through her knocking her out of the mystery mans eyes she'd found herself lost in. Emily looked around to see who the voice belonged to and wasn't surprised to be faced with Benny.

 

"It's about time. I've been sat out here for too long Benny!" She tried to sound like she was angry enough not to buy from him, maybe scare him slightly that he's kept her waiting too long too many times and now he could lose her business all together.

 

"Well it's Saturday night in the City of Angels, what d'you expect?!" He replied counting a handful of notes in his palm. It didn't work. "Anyways, doll face. The usual?"

 

Benny was short with olive skin and was from New Jersey. His mother was half Italian and his father was full Italian and he was the youngest of five children, the four above him all being females. The family owned a small deli in Atlantic City, and as soon as they birthed a son it automatically became Benny's future responsibility. But Benny Vinacelli had different ideas. Instead of working in the family business and selling Italian delicacies like his family had intended him to do, he found himself stalking the streets of Hollywood selling the complete opposite of delicacies.

 

Emily nodded her head quickly, just wanting to leave and go to the party she knew was happening a few streets over. Benny produced the merchandise from his back pocket and was about to place it in Emily's opening palm when suddenly a door swung open to her right that she didn't even know was there. Light was thrown out engulfing both herself and Benny and it made Emily's eyes burn. She quickly closed her fist and put her hands behind the back, making it completely obvious as to what she was hiding even though her intentions were opposite.

 

"Ayyy Luke! How's work treating ya?" Benny grinned at the man who'd emerged from the newly opened door. He was tall and very thin. His hair was black and scruffy and he was wearing the stereotypical waiter uniform. Black penguin suit and white gloves. Emily drank in his outfit and was surprised at how expensive he looked and also how young. He looked no older than her, and she was only 27. She was also slightly jealous. He could be the same age as her, possibly younger and he looked like he had a pretty well paying job, and here Emily was. Living from day to day, never thinking about what the next week would bring in fear she'd not be around to see it.

 

"Yeah it's good dude? You got any weed?" It was at that last question that Emily knew she could relax and not feel threatened by this new male.

 

"Of course just for you baby." Benny pulled out a little plastic bag filled with the pungent buds and held them out to Luke the waiter. "That'll be 20 man." As Benny named he price, Luke timidly withdrew his open palm and gave Benny a look of panic and despair.

 

"I've only got $10 on me dude." Luke's voice was shy. Benny shook his head.

 

"The price is $20. Sorry man." Benny went to slide the plant back into his back pocket when Luke almost leapt in front of him to try and persuade him otherwise. Emily took a step back and tried to sneak away as she had got what she came for. She had the money to pay for her habit, Luke's lack of funds wasn't her problem.

 

"Oh Benny come on! Can't I just pay $10 now and, and...." Luke trailed off, "I'll get you and your friend into the party." He pointed at Emily with one hand and pointed over his shoulder towards the still open door behind him. By this time Emily had already started to slowly sink into the darkness of the parking lot so she could escape the deal. But now, thanks to Luke she was being used as bargaining rights. Benny looked at her and gave her that smile, that smile that said she had no choice. He was happy with that compromise and she was going to a party, apparently.

 

* * * * *

 

Jared was finding it hard to focus on anything that was going on around him. He was sat at a round table that had been squeezed into a huge ballroom. There were so many circular tables surrounding him he was concerned if he'd actually have the room to stand up and go to the bar to get a drink. He couldn't escape. He would either turn to his right and be faced with people he didn't really know who would talk at him not too him or turn to his left to be faced with people that would be practically gagging for him. He could tell by the way the girls to his left would hang on every word he spoke, giggle at statements not worthy of a giggle and take any chance they could to touch him as they giggled at nothing.

He was tired of this shit. He was so tired of it. He was forty years old, and was still being treated as if he was twenty one. A part of him felt guilty for hating the attention. Any man would thrive in it still, be pleased with the fact they still got hit on by the youth of Hollywood like they were the same age. But Jared was growing bored of the game he'd been playing for decades. The older he got, the more he found himself not wanting to fuck a hot blonde under the age of 25 for one night, but to find someone. One girl. One girl who he could devote himself too and keep as his own. And no matter how many one night stands he had, they would never be enough to shake the aching feeling of loneliness that had started to devour him. He'd become so lonely.

 

He slowly felt claustrophobia seep into his being and he needed to move. He needed to get out of the large scale room and breathe fresh air, not accumulated oxygen. He looked across the tablecloth and glanced at his eldest brother Shannon and band mate Tomo and threw his head to the side motioning to the boys that he was leaving the table. He slipped out of his chair and squeezed through the closely placed tables and past the other people at the event who were trying to squeeze through them as well.

When Jared had made it out of the ballroom alive, he made his way to the bar deciding to get a quick drink before going out back to have a quick cigarette on the sly. He slowly wedged himself through the throngs of people until his lower abdomen was resting against the front of the bar.

 

"Uh, hey. Can I get a whiskey please." He asked politely to the woman behind the bar. When she walked away, he relaxed into himself and casually looked around at the people surrounding him. He inwardly yawned at all the men in black tie and all the women made up to the nines. He really didn't mind going to charity events because they were for a good cause at the end of the day, but the people who attended said events, he was just bored of them. The woman brought his drink back and placed it in front of him, Jared smiled appreciatively and threw it back. He turned to leave to go outside for a cigarette but was stumped in his spot when he caught a glimpse of the wild and unruly dark curls that had been sat next to him the whole time.

 

* * * * *

 

Emily spent pretty much 80% of her life feeling self conscious just walking around L.A. sober. So for her to be sat at a bar of a Hollywood ballroom, surrounding by women and men whose underwear probably cost more than her whole lifestyle and having just done a line of MDMA in the bathroom, she truly felt like she was going to be sick with disgust of herself. She sat rigid, staring at the array of different alcohol that had been placed on glass shelves behind the bar. She was clutching a glass of water as she knew she'd need it once the drug took effect. She was struggling to come up and she knew it was because she felt insecure and depressed due to her surroundings. It annoyed her when she struggled to let herself be affected by the drug. She spent money on it that she didn't really have to feel a certain way for a few hours and when her conscious was going through turmoil it only prolonged the inevitable rush that ensued, making her feel like she was wasting money as every minute ticked by without the feeling creeping up. She took a sip of water and closed her eyes for a moment. That was it. That's all she needed. She felt the tingle go up her spin and the warmth explode through her body. The muscles in her legs started to tense and relax and her pupils began to dilate. She was coming up hard and she knew then she had to leave the event. She needed loud music with a heavy bass line, chewing gum and enough space to dance. She slid of the bar stool she'd plonked herself on and stood up. She didn't realize how busy it was around her and had ending up pretty much leaning on someone's chest. She looked up to apologize but was faced with someone she didn't think she'd ever see again. Suddenly a bolt of lightning shot through her whole system making her knees weak, only she didn't know if it was the drug or the man in front of her causing the sensation. A part of her couldn't believe she'd been so lucky to have run into him again, but another part of her was crying out in embarrassment that he was one of these A-Lister's that surrounded her.

 

"Sorry." Emily breathed, trying to step around him and hiding her face all at the same time. But instead of escaping them piercing blue eyes that burned into her face and his breath on her neck that she felt due to the lack of space between them, he grabbed her by her elbows keeping her stood in front of his body. He squinted as he looked into her now black eyes and she panicked knowing they were the size of saucers. Was he going to freak out? Call the police and tell them that some stupid fucked up girl was in the building? She wanted to wiggle away, make herself evaporate, but his icy blue gaze had her frozen.

 

"You've taken something." He said slowly as a cheeky smile grew across his face.

 

"What? No!" Emily cried rather loudly gaining a few people to look at the pair of them. She quickly looked at her feet avoiding his inspection and once more tried to wiggle out of his hold, but he just held on tighter. Jared chuckled slightly.

 

"You have! Look at me." He let go of one of her elbows and lifted her chin up and held it gently so she had no choice but to stare at him with pupils as big as planets. He grinned and laughed. His eyes lit up at the situation. Jared found it rather amusing that some girl who was dressed like she'd just jumped of the back of a Harley was inside a Hollywood Fundraiser buzzing her cute little head of. She started to fidget in his arms and he felt somewhat guilty. He was no stranger to drugs, he had taken many in his lifetime and he could tell just by the way her legs were shaking and the immense size of her pupils that she had taken MDMA. He also knew that it wasn't nice to dissect someone in that state as that drug tends to intensify emotions. He wrapped his arm around her waist knowing she'd enjoy the feel of him and leant down to whisper in her ear.

 

"I'm going outside for a smoke. You want to come with me? It'll help you come down if it's too much in here."

 

Emily swivelled her head round to take in his face. His features were relaxed and honest and she felt suddenly at ease that he could apparently tell how she was feeling. He had obviously taken the drug she had himself and knew the tricks as how to not let it drown you. She nodded quickly and felt him pull her closer into his side. Emily nestled her body as close to him as she could, delighting in the way she fit against him and she kept wanting him to touch her more. She wanted him to kiss her and then push her against a wall. She blamed the drug initially and it's common side effect that MDMA makes being touched in the simplest of places feel like an orgasm all over your body, but she knew deep down she would of felt that way even if she hadn't taken anything.

 

Jared didn't exactly know why he felt obliged to take this girl out for a cigarette with him. Maybe it was because he knew she needed one and that it would help. He could tell she was about to fuck up in the ballroom and he wouldn't wish that upon anyone. Fucking up is not fun. He's done it many a time and he didn't want to see this girl who was clearly not on the guest list go through that in front of those people.

Maybe it was because her eyes captured him again, even though the chocolate color of them was pretty much engulfed in the blackness of her pupils, he still felt his stomach drop when she looked at him, her stare rendering him helpless.

Or maybe it was because out of the sea of upper class assholes that had been invited to the event they both were attending, he found her, in a Black Flag t shirt and dirty old boots and couldn't possibly pass up the chance of finding someone else that night who was as out of their depth as he was.


	2. TWO

Emily felt so much better sitting out in the open. She could feel the fresh air fill her lungs and it calmed her rapid heart rate down somewhat as the drug raged through her body. She took a long pull from the thin cigarette between her fingers which helped to bring her down too, making her feel so much more in control of herself. The cigarette tasted different, almost sweet. She gathered that they must have been either foreign or expensive or both. Either way, the owner of the cigarette who was sat beside her must have had a lot more money than her to afford such a treat.

 

Jared stared at her. He felt rude doing so, but he simply couldn't stop. She was staring up at the sky above them and Jared had to fight the urge to place his lips on her jaw line as he watched it clench and unclench under her skin. He knew she was clenching because of the MDMA. He did the same when he used to take it. He carefully nudged his knee into hers to grab her attention, but she continued to gaze up, lost in the stars. He choose a different approach and started to trace his fingertip up and down the ladder in her pantyhose that ran from her knee to the top of her thigh. He ran it all the way up to the top, his finger pretty much going up her shirt before she looked at him with a confused look etched on her features.

 

 

"You feel better now?" Jared asked, his fingertip still touching her bare skin through the tear in the hosiery.

 

"Yeah, lots. Thanks." She nodded and smiled a grateful smile at him. " I'm getting that feeling though. In my muscles. I need to squeeze something, or move around." She watched his face as he listened. Whenever she told people what she felt like she needed when she was on drugs, she always felt like they couldn't quite grasp the need, as they weren't intoxicated themselves. But with him, she had a feeling he understood. A small smile spread across his mouth and with his other hand, the one that wasn't still tracing the flesh exposed on her thigh, he held it out to her.

 

"I like squeezing too. I always used to squeeze people's hands." Emily was reluctant to grab hold, even as he wiggled his fingers slightly trying to coax her hand into his, but she slowly placed her palm against his and gingerly held on.

"Try it like this." Jared said lacing their fingers together. It felt so much better and he could tell she needed to latch on as soon as her fingers wrapped around his she was squeezing them so hard he could of sworn she had cut his circulation off. He thought to himself as he watched her bite her teeth together inside her skull and felt one finger at a time go numb that whatever she'd taken must have been pretty good stuff to have this effect on her.

 

"Fuck me, this is good shit." She laughed to herself. She looked towards Jared still giggling and he was smiling back at her, amused at her statement.

 

"I was just thinking that." He smiled softly at her as his hand travelled from her thigh to slowly drag his fingertips up and down her spine. This was another thing he enjoyed as well when he was buzzing, but saw it more as a new opportunity to touch her somewhere else. She scooted closer to him so their thighs were touching. She was gazing up into his eyes and he felt the breath hitch in the back of his through. She was closer to his face and he didn't know if he couldn't not kiss her. He told himself he was being silly, and asked himself 'why are you acting more horny and love struck than the girl next to you, rushing on MDMA for fucks sake.'

 

"You're being very nice to me." Emily grinned at him.

 

"How could I not be." Jared had turned on the charm and she could see the twinkle in his eyes. She wasn't stupid either, she knew he'd played this card on a handful of girls before her and would probably play it on a handful of girls after her too. "I'm sure every man would act the same towards such a beautiful girl." He gave her a half smile and she felt another surge of desire ripple through her body.

 

"Did you just indirectly call me beautiful?"

 

Jared breathed out a laugh and shifted his gaze around the parking lot they sat in. He felt his cheeks grow hot and he couldn't believe that she asked him that question. Normally girls just go along with his smooth and sultry lines, never would they actually question him on them. He nodded bashfully and he was sure he'd lost her. No way was she going to buy his moves now, she was clearly one step ahead of him. But when he felt her snuggle a bit closer to his body he was instantly relieved that evidently, he still stood a slither of a chance.

 

"I like your accent." He changed the subject quickly. As soon as his ears picked up the slight twang of certain words she'd speak, he was intrigued further by the woman. He wasn't lying either. He genuine loved her accent, it was one of his favourites on women. "Where are you from?"

 

"I'm from England." She blushed, grinning away from his gaze. He chuckled slightly watching her get bashful. No one had ever complimented her accent before, not really anyway. She'd had a few comments from bratty girls but they were all back handed. She hadn't ever had a gorgeous man pick it up the way he did before. Jared chuckled once more at Emily's obvious answer. He could hear quite clearly she was from England and it made him laugh that she gave such a broad answer.

 

"Oh yeah?!" He said sarcastically with a chuckle. "Where exactly in England?" He probed.

 

"The south." She stared deep into his eyes, hoping to spark something deep within him just with her eyes. That was her trick. It had worked on every man she'd ever tried it on. She had these bright and wide eyes that were a warm brown color that when looking into you felt as though you were being nestled into a warm blanket with a mug of hot chocolate in between your palms. And Jared was quickly falling prey to the intense heat she could lay on with her gaze. "Where are you from?"

 

"The south." He repeated with a smirk.

 

Jared was about to wrap the hand that had remained on her back around the girls waist and go in for the kill. He was going to seal the deal with this woman and take her to his house in the Hollywood Hills and show her a side of him that he rarely let woman see. He didn't know why he felt prepared to show this stranger this side of him but he felt something in his gut when he looked at her as he passed her earlier that night. He felt something he hadn't felt in so long he had forgotten about it all together. He was slowly moving his hand further around her when someone, he didn't know who, approached them and interrupted his chances entirely.

 

 

"EMILY!"

 

She quickly looked over her shoulder to see who had called her name. His shirt was unbuttoned and his knuckles were red and sore. She didn't need him to tell her he'd gotten into a fight inside the charity event, she all ready could tell. She sighed audibly and she felt Jared slowly scratch his fingers against the base of her spine as if he was saying a premature goodbye knowing she'd be leaving his company.

 

"You shoulda fuckin' seen me Em. Some dude started to fuckin talk to me like a piece of shit. Get the fuck outta here! Does he know how the fuck I am!" He was spouting on and on, full of adrenaline and narcotics. Emily looked at the floor, almost embarrassed by his performance. She chanced a quick glance at the man next to her and saw the scowl across his features. That's when she decided to save herself the embarrassment and remove herself from Jared's side, against her will.

 

"Benny, just chill okay?!" Emily held her hand up to motion him to stop flaying and cursing. Benny only laughed in her face and pushed her hand away with enough force that Jared tensed up next to her. Emily felt the muscles in his bicep twitch against her side as she was still tucked safely next to him. She instinctively put her hand on his thigh to try and defuse the reaction and also thank him for getting a bit defensive, even though he had flexed unintentionally. When she touched him Jared knew she'd caught his uncontrollable urge to punch this guy in the face for touching her like that. He didn't know where the primal feeling was coming from and it embarrassed him slightly that she'd even caught it.

 

"What the fuck is this shit?" Benny laughed and intimidated laugh and pointed between Emily and Jared who were sat before him. His body language completely alpha. "You swapping me out for Mr. fucking Hollywood over here? Mr. fucking first rule of Fight Club?!" Benny shock his head and pointed in Jared's direction with a smug smile all over his face. Benny was making it clear that he in fact knew exactly who Jared Leto was, as apposed to Emily who was still waiting for the penny to drop.

 

"All right man, do you want to leave by yourself or do you want me to help you?" Jared raced to his feet. He had had enough. He could take the intimidation that Benny was trying to put onto him but the fact that he had a girl sat beside him who clearly knew the short aggressive Italian, didn't rub him up the right way. He all ready knew that she was going to leave with Benny and not with him. She was going to say goodbye to him and have to put up with Benny's outbursts of unnecessary anger. But he couldn't lose face in front of her. If she was going to say goodbye, he at least wanted to make an impact on her before she went.

 

"Ohhhh look here! Angel face wants a fight." Benny's shoulders immediately tensed up and Emily had no choice but to step in.

 

"Benny!" She stood up from her seat on the wall and stood directly in between the boys. She shoved Benny's shoulders back and he took a few steps away from them but his stare remained locked onto Jared's face. Emily fell back slightly as she pushed him away and landed against Jared's chest. As she collided with him she felt his hand wrap around her hip to keep her against him. "Benny back off, I'm serious." She gave him a pointed look and a tone that reminded Jared of a strict teacher and he was instantly turned on by her tone. He thought to himself that she would either make a very good mother one day or that she was definitely an absolute minx in bed or even better, both of the two. Benny scoffed and turned himself away from the pair. He lit a cigarette and pulled out his phone and proceeded to make a very loud phone call to someone.

 

"I'm so sorry about him!" Emily spun round and apologized to Jared. "God, I'm so embarrassed, really I am sor-"

 

"Don't be embarrassed because he's an asshole." Jared smiled softly, fidgeting slightly at the inevitable goodbye he knew was coming.

 

"Thanks for standing up for me. Kind of." She giggled.

 

"Of course. Anytime, Emily." Her heart stop beating for a split second when her name fell out of his mouth and she instantly became obsessed with the sound of her name on his lips. She bit the side of her lip and grinned up at him. She was about to lean up and give him a grateful kiss on the cheek when Benny's obnoxious voice cut her out of the moment. He was bellowing her name saying they had to go and Emily couldn't help but compare how terrible her name sounded coming from his mouth as apposed the Jared's. She turned away from Jared slowly making her exit, when she felt a large hand wrap itself around her forearm. As she looked over her shoulder she was meet with his pleading crystal eyes and she had to deadbolt her feet in place otherwise she would of wrapped herself around him without hesitation.

 

"Before you go, can I get your number?" Jared gulped after he asked. He was trying so hard to look cool and like he'd done this a million times before in the past. The irony was he had done that a million times before, he had asked more girls than he could remember for their number and not thought anything of it, but getting her number, getting Emily's number, had him sweating slightly as if his life depended on her digits. Her eyes lit up and a full watt smile broke over her face and he knew then he had her.

 

Emily reached into her bra. Pulling out a red lipstick she kept in the opposite cup to where she kept her cigarettes. She grabbed Jared by the wrist and pushed the sleeve to his black button up shirt all the way up to the crook of his arm and proceeded to write her phone number on his forearm. As he watched her etch onto his skin with her make-up he couldn't help but smile at her. He found it refreshing to be around someone like her. He was so used to the typical blonde size 0's. He couldn't help but crave Emily. Before he knew it she had finished with his arm, releasing his wrist. They gazed at each other once more and they both felt the rush of bashfulness as if they were both 16 years old.

 

"You better call." She smirked at him slowly walking backwards progressing into the darkness of the parking lot.

 

"I promise." Jared spoke with sincerity wanting her to believe that he would call and not think he was just saying that. He had every intention of calling her. He was considering calling her as soon as she was swallowed by the night and out of his proximity. He glanced down to roll his sleeve back down to cover and protect the precious numbers that could so easily be lost from his skin but when he looked back to Emily, she was gone.

 

* * * * *

 

For the rest of the evening, Jared was in a haze of Emily. There was so much he wanted to talk to her about. He wanted to know so much about her. Share so much of himself with her. He couldn't get her face out of his mind for the remainder of the event and it frightened him a little. He hadn't felt this way about a women in over a decade. That's a long time to go without feeling genuine chemistry with another person and he couldn't remember if it was suppose to feel this intense of if she was just simply, out of this world.


	3. THREE

The air was cool on her skin and the sky was her favorite color and she was completely in awe of the city she stood on top of. The breeze was swirling around her and it made her skin ripple with goose bumps and the sky above was a beautiful blend of cyan, lilac and magenta. She felt like she was in paradise. She looked down on Los Angeles from atop the hill and indulged in a feeling so splendid as well as the fact that she didn't need the help of any illegal substances to find that feeling. Looking at the world from up there made her feel human again. It reminded her that she was alive. She didn't even look in the view finder of her camera when she snapped a picture, she didn't need too. There was no such thing as a bad angle from where she was sitting. Everything was beautiful. She found herself in the place she loved doing the thing she loved. Sat cross legged upon a boulder that was perched at the highest point on the Hollywood Hills looking down onto the city, the sky slowly fading into a deep blue as the night approached with her camera in her lap, taking pictures of nothing in particular but the landscape before her eyes.

 

 

She moved to the city for one reason only, and that reason was in her hands. She was a photographer. That was the only talent she had to put on the table. She had a natural way of capture something correctly. Getting the lighting perfect without trying, getting the angle correct without adjusting. She lived her life in a small town in England for 21 years before she decided that she was sick and tired of dreaming that photography was her lively hood. She packed her bags, got on a plane with her best friend and first, went to Florida. There was where she experienced some of the best years of her life. She had never felt more free than she did between the ages of 21 and 23 and she found herself now four years later chasing that feeling she once held. She was convinced that she had finally begun to live, properly. Not just getting through day by day but living as though every moment was fleeting and as though if it were to be her lasts moments, she'd go with a smile on her face. Thinking back on that period of her life brought bitter tears to her eyes. That girl was gone. She'd been crushed under the weight of disappointment and loneliness. That girl was shot dead when her best friend up and left her in a small apartment in Florida to travel around Europe with her boyfriend. Loneliness was a feeling she knew all too well, and she thought she'd finally chased it away, but it came back just as quick as it left. 

 

It had been seven days that evening that she had wrote her number in blood red lipstick on his arm. It had been seven days since the vision of him rooted itself inside her brain. It had been seven days since she'd heard from him. Half of her knew that she probably wasn't ever going to hear from him again, but the other half of her, the half that was filled with hope, was crying out for him to send merely a text message. 

 

Emily had spent the past week inwardly battling with herself. One side dreaming about losing herself in the fantasy that he'd call her, and take her on a date and that he genuinely wanted more than her body. But the other side of her was scolding herself for being such a dreamer and thinking that a famous Hollywood actor like the man she'd met had anything but a second to spare on her. 

 

She felt so beaten by the whole situation. When she met him she didn't know him. She didn't recognize the blue of his eyes and the button of his nose. She didn't recognize him. It wasn't until Benny had told her later that evening after the charity event disaster that it all sunk in, as well as the feeling of dread and embarrassment as she realized she'd been flirting with the Jared Leto. Emily admittedly couldn't help but laugh when Benny disclosed the identity of her new found friend as she had mentioned before that her life had become like a scene from Requiem For a Dream and who did she happen to stumble upon and flirt shamelessly with. Harry fucking Goldfarb. It all just added onto the list of cons that formed in her mind of reasons she'll never see him again, the only pro on her imaginary list being that maybe he might one day fancy fucking an English girl. 

 

She shook her head rid of the thoughts hoping that the festering feeling of embarrassment and dread would shake free too. As she shook slightly she felt the bitter chill briefly pinch her. Winter was coming and Emily was excited. Winter reminded her of where she grew up in England. It was always very cold and very bleak. Back then it was the main reason she wanted to leave, but nowadays at 27 years old, she could say in all honesty that she missed the wet and windy atmosphere. She stretched her legs out in front of her enjoying the stretch in her muscles and let her head fall downwards, stretching the back of her neck. She closed her eyes and revelled in the feel of the cold air whipping through her long brown curls accompanied by the humidity that still lingered that warmed her skin just as much. As she slowly slipped down from the boulder until her feet touched the floor she felt a longing wash over her, a longing for something she didn't quite know what. She felt as though, with her feet planted on the earth beneath her, that her life wasn't as beautiful as the landscape before her. It was a crash back into reality and it unnerved her. Slowly Emily snapped one last picture of the city lights under the now deep purple sky and turned to descend back down the hill, into the busy streets of Hollywood and back to her tiny, dank apartment. However, before she took even ten steps away she was frozen in her tracks. She was stuck still by the sight of flowing dark hair that had been set free and the thick beard that disguised his jaw line and she questioned if she had actually crashed back down to reality like she felt she had or if she was still in amongst her daydreams as he smiled back at the sight of her face. Each step he took towards her was a beat of her heart that skipped past. 

 

In all honesty Jared didn't actually believe he saw her stood there. Hair blowing wild in the wind as her silhouette echoed above him at the top of the hill like something from a dream he once had. He knew it couldn't of been her, the sheer amount of possibilities that it was just another girl that happen to look a bit like the English wonder he'd stumbled upon a week ago was far too great he thought to himself. But that didn't stop his feet. They were moving on their own accord and before his mind could keep up he was moving towards the silhouette ahead of him. As he got closer and closer, his heart beat faster and faster.

"Hey," he breathed as he was now stood in her proximity. She was wearing faded black jeans that were too big for her as the top of them were belted around her waist. She'd rolled the bottoms up letting some calf peek out in between the jeans and them boots he remembered from last time. She also was wearing what he could make out as a Rolling Stones top that had been cut in half into a crop top. He couldn't help but assume all the clothes she was wearing were men's clothes. 

 

"Hey!" She grinned back at him, a smile so bright that it would put the stars to shame. He felt a twist in his chest and he knew right then, that he was in serious trouble. "I thought I'd hear from you first before I saw you." 

 

"Yeah sorry about that." Jared glanced down at his feet and shuffled to and fro. He felt awkward, as though he was in trouble for not getting in touch as quickly as he wanted too, he'd been so busy he simply didn't have the time available too, even though he tried too get away to call her. "I've been meaning to call, I just haven't had a spare moment to myself to actually get to it." He looked back up at her and her eyes bled with understanding. He breathed a sigh of relief and gave her a subtle smile.

 

"It's fine, honestly." She was slightly and stupidly annoyed that he had an excuse not to call her, even though she knew he was probably busy and probably didn't have any real intentions of calling her. Her worst enemy was herself, her conscious took it upon itself to make her feel like shit whenever an opportunity would arise.

 

"Well, what are the chances of bumping into you like this." He shot a smirk her way and she knew the games had begun. "Must be my lucky day."

 

"It must be. You never know though, it's only early you still have the rest of the night to get luckier." As soon as the words came out her mouth she felt instantly stupid. She made herself sound like a slut, and that wasn't what she wanted to put across. She nervously glanced around the empty hilltop as her face dropped, trying to thinking of something else to say to cover her poorly worded attempt to flirt with him. She could hear him chuckling and it just made her feel even sillier. 

 

"Hey," Jared tugged on the hem of her crop top pulling her frantic looks back to his face. "Can I take a look?" He pointed to the camera in her hand and before she had the chance to reply he had taken it from her grasp as he glided past her.

He climb up onto the boulder that Emily was perched upon moments before and look over his shoulder to see her struggling to climb back up to sit next to him. He offered his hand to her and pulled her up next to his side.

 

Jared turned the camera on and the little jingle indicated it was awake. Quickly a knot formed in Emily's stomach. She never really showed her photo's to anyone and she was scared of what he'd think of them. Would he like them? He'd probably lie and say they were really good but really he'd be thinking 'these are fucking terrible.'

 

"These are really good Emily." He looked at her with a smile and Emily couldn't help but silently scoff as she knew that was going to happen before it did. She muttered a brief thank you and gazed back out at the much brighter city under the much darker sky. 

 

"Is that what you are then?" He nudged his shoulder against hers slightly, pulling her attention back to him. When she looked at him his blue eyes were twinkling with the reflection of the city below them. He placed the camera back into her lap letting his hands graze against her thighs slowly as he pulled his hands back into his own lap and held them there patiently, knowing exactly how he was teasing her and leaving the longing feeling rippling through her skin. "You're a photographer?"

 

"I'm a photographer." She nodded.

 

"You're a very good photographer." Jared couldn't help but feel an ache in his stomach whenever she pulled her eyes away from his. She kept doing that. Looking at him briefly then looking away to scan the scenery around them. He had to keep his hands locked in his lap as he so desperately wanted to grab her face and keep them eyes on his. They were shining under the stars and the moonlight, the brown of them couldn't be seen and he felt like he was looking into the heart of a nebula. "You know, I know someone who is looking for a photographer."

 

"Really?" Emily gave him her full attention then. She needed work. She needed to find that happiness she once felt years ago. "Looking as in, to hire?"

 

Jared chuckled at her enthusiasm and nodded. Emily took a deep breathe. Composing herself for the pitch she was about to give.

 

"Well, I'm not doing anything. And I can work within all types of photography too. I can do fashion, journalism, candid, landscapes, I can do it all. I'd really appreciate it if you could maybe just let this person who's hiring know that I'm willing to work for them. I can show them any amount of work before hand, I can get it all together-" 

 

"Emily. Stop." Jared ordered with a smile on his face. He grabbed her by the elbows to keep her still and her body pointing in his direction. "I'm pretty positive you'll get the job."

 

"Really? Why's that?" Emily asked wide eyed and curious.

 

"Because I'm looking for a photographer." Her face didn't move and inch as it sank into her brain. "And I say." Jared leaned in closer so her face was inches from his. "You've got the job." He announced barely above a whisper.

Emily felt her chest tighten. The oxygen had stopped flowing and she had frozen. She wasn't breathing, he'd shocked the breath out of her. She threw her arms around his neck hugging him against her. She was so much more thankful than she could ever hope to portray to him. She'd been trying for as long as she could remember to get her opportunity to do what she was good at. And in the space of a minute she'd been given her chance. When she felt his arms wrap around her waist and his face nuzzle into her neck she couldn't help but feel that maybe she'd gotten a bit carried away. She quickly pulled back and looked into his eyes that appeared as pleased as hers and stuck her hand out between them. He laughed gently and took hold, shaking her hand. Sealing the deal. 

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Jared was sat behind his computer. He was watching the little blue bar as it moved across the screen. Emily's pictures were slowly uploading to his computer. He'd asked before departing from The Hollywood Hills if he could maybe have a memory card of her work, just to show the people she'd be working with too. He was going to show Shannon, Tomo and Emma even though he knew exactly what their reactions would be. Tomo would be in awe of her incredible work and want her in the team, Shannon would chuckle at the fact Jared offered a job to a girl just because he thought she was cute and Emma would be slightly annoyed that Jared was just employing people for all the wrong reasons. The truth of it was, there wasn't actually a job position available. Jared didn't need a photographer. He had flirted with the idea of maybe getting one, but he knew that was a job he could just do himself if need be. But seeing her work, and feeling the way he did when he was around her. He needed her close. And that need frightened him as well as excited him. He hadn't needed another woman for so long in any other way but sexually, but with Emily, he needed her presence not her body more than anything. He couldn't shake it.

 

After the photo's were successfully sitting on his desktop and after he beckoned the 3 others over to view them, he was relieved that Tomo and Emma seemed to grasp the fact she was joining his little company to be their official photographer easier than he anticipated. They didn't stick around his computer for long however, Tomo needed to go home to Vicki and Emma had calls to make and emails to read and send. The only person to stick around the computer was Shannon.

 

"You like this girl then?" Shannon asked nonchalantly from over Jared's shoulder. After a lengthy pause, Jared replied.

 

"No." 

 

"Liar." Shannon shock his head, chuckling at his little brother. They watched the screen as Jared flicked through picture after picture. One of the downtown L.A in the morning hours, the streets empty and asleep. The skyline at dawn. Performers on the walk of fame that no one was paying any attention too. Shots of what looked like her apartment and that Italian guy smoking a spliff on a tatty old couch. Party after party that all had the running theme of intoxicated girls and dim and seedy lighting. And then a picture of her in bed, her hair manic and uncontrolled, her lips swollen and a white sheet just covering her dignity, even though you could see her nipples through the thin fabric. Jared paused on the photo. Staring. Drinking it in. He wondered if he'd just got lucky, Emily maybe forgetting that these pictures were on the memory card. He moved to the next photo. In this one the sheet had been removed and her full breasts where on full display and a cigarette hung out her mouth, a cloud of smoke floating past her. Jared couldn't help wriggle in his seat, fighting against the tightening in his jeans.

 

"I'll ask again," Shannon said next to him, bringing Jared's mind out of the gutter as he'd forgotten his older brother was still next to him. "You like this chick?"

 

Jared couldn't speak. His mouth and throat was dry and he couldn't re circuit his brain to form words. He just slowly nodded, refusing to draw his eyes away from Emily evidently after having sex that had been plastered on his screen. Shannon just chuckled like Jared knew he would, clapped him on the shoulder and walked away. Leaving Jared and his growing erection behind. 

 

Without taking his eyes away from her on his screen. He picked up his phone absentmindedly. He clicked the right arrow key on his computer and the next picture nearly made him cum in his boxer briefs. The photo showed Emily, her back to the camera. Her whole body on display. Her hair tumbling down her back. Her plump ass above soft legs. Jared clapped his hand over his mouth and shut his eyes. He had to stop looking at her. He felt so naughty finding pictures of her like this, like he'd been let into a dirty little secret he shouldn't know. These pictures were his dirty little secret. He quickly looked at his phone and dialled the number he'd programmed into it a week before and called the number he'd been trying to call for the past 7 days. 

 

"Hello?" She answered and the pictures he'd just devoured moments before were still burning in his brain even with his eyes still closed tight.

 

"What are you doing tomorrow night?" He couldn't hesitate. "I'm taking you out."


	4. FOUR

Emily sat there, leaning against the side of her unmade bed wearing nothing but a pair of old boxer shorts that belonged to a man she didn't remember surrounded by a sea of clothes strewn across the carpet of her tiny bedroom. She'd been in that position for at least half an hour and as she felt the anxiety drag her further and further into the abyss the more she considered calling him and telling him not to bother with the evening planned.

 

 

She couldn't figure it out. Was this a date? Was this just an attempt on his behalf to get her into bed? Would he give a shit if people saw them together? Was he going to pay for it? What if saw her and thought to himself that it was a bad idea asking her out? She felt sick as the thoughts bashed against the sides of her mind and she didn't know what the fuck she was going to do. It was half past seven, she had to be outside the restaurant in thirty minutes and she was wearing nothing at all, her hair and make-up was complete however, but there was not a hint of an outfit on her body. 

 

In that moment her phone started to ring. Her head snapped towards the sound and she began throwing ripped leggings and baggy shirts across the room looking for the source of the ringing. She found it quickly under a red plaid button up and took a deep breathe before grabbing the phone, mentally preparing and composing herself for the incoming call she was sure was Jared. When she looked at the screen, she felt the disappoint wash over her as she discovered Benny was calling. She pressed the red button without hesitation or guilt, ignoring his call. However the text she was faced with on her lock screen when she got rid of Benny made her heart race and her stomach drop. Jared had text her, simply saying; 'I can't wait to see you later.'

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

As Jared gazed out the window he contemplated just ordering a few more whiskeys, getting really, really drunk and just going to a strip club. In all honesty, Jared was pissed off. He didn't know why she was being like that. He'd gone out of his way to ask her out to dinner, he'd even text her shortly before they were supposed to meet saying that he couldn't wait to see her, which wasn't a lie. And now, almost an hour after 8 o' clock, he was sat alone at a table for two sipping his third whiskey getting agitated at the fact he was still sat there waiting for her.

He had never waited that long before. Usually, if he was waiting for any more than fifteen minutes that was it, he was up and out the building without even a text to whom he was waiting for saying he was leaving. But with Emily, he was still waiting to see her face. He had even text her a few times asking where she was and how long she thought she'd be. But she never replied. And that infuriated Jared even more so. Manners cost nothing and he didn't know why she was standing him up and why she wasn't replying but what made his blood boil the most was the fact he was still waiting for her to show up.

 

He'd had enough of fucking waiting. He paid for his drinks, apologized for taking up a table for so long and left the establishment with a bit of a stumble as he had gotten through roughly a bottle of whiskey then. He licked his lips and took a deep breathe of fresh air as he stepped out onto the street, preparing himself for the walk back to his home that awaited him when he felt a subtle tickle against his left thigh. He placed his hand against the spot that was vibrating and his intoxicated brain put the pieces together and told him that someone was calling him. When he answered the phone he didn't check to see who it was calling, so he was a little taken aback to finally hear the voice he'd been aching to hear all night.

 

"I'm sorry." It was a simple statement, and she said it like she meant it, because she truly did.

 

"Please, Emily. Save your breath. I don't need to hear it." Jared was short with her. She believed it was completely just.

 

"I'm sorry though." Jared paused, collecting his thoughts and trying to process his feelings as best he could manage somewhat drunk.

 

"And how's you being sorry going to give me back the hour I just spent waiting for you?"

 

"Let me make it up to you." Jared thought it over, considering it. "Please Jared." He didn't want to. He didn't want to let her make it up to him. But he had to see her. It was like a craving. He waited for longer than he wanted too, just to see her and have that need quenched but because he'd had to wait longer than he planned, that craving just grew bigger and bigger and bigger. Jared was losing control and even though his pride was telling him to tell this girl to go fuck herself, he was pretty much on his knees for her.

 

"What do you have in mind?" Emily let out a sigh and he could hear the slight grin in her breath.

 

"Could you meet me on the hills? The place where you found me last. I'm here now. I'll explain everything. I promise, just please meet me." Jared could hear the subtle pleading in her tone and the delicacy around her words. She was pining for his trust and he could see that crystal clear.

 

"I'll be a while. But I'll be there." Emily thanked him until he was replaced with dead air and the world suddenly opened up to her. She took in Los Angeles under starlight as far as she could see and it occurred to her then, that in that moment he was somewhere down there, on his way to her. A feeling quickly dawned upon her, that feeling you sometimes get when looking up at the stars on a clear night, the feeling that this is happening. You are living and things are constantly moving around you and you can sit there and watch and take everything in but no matter what happens, things will always be constantly flowing. Life and people, they'll always be moving and growing and continuing around you.

 

A smile absentmindedly graced her lips even though guilt was still shredding her insides to ribbons. She had wanted to reply to him all night, she'd written text after text out all ready to go, but her fingers would deleted every word she typed out of pure fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of him. Fear of what was happening. But most of all, fear of how she was feeling. Jared didn't know, but whenever Emily was around him, she felt like her whole body was in flames. She felt like she had taken a hit of the purest heroin and that she had been granted access inside of heaven and that terrified the life out of her. She hadn't felt like that without drugs in years. She didn't think she could feel like that without drugs at all. But she was, she was feeling just as good sober as she did completely fucked. And it was because of him, he was slowly becoming her knew favourite drug of choice. 

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

He was looking at her side profile, drinking her in. He was counting the amount of times she blinked. He was watching how she was looking everywhere but at him. When he'd finally clambered up the Hollywood Hills he found her in the exact same place her found her in before, only this time she was accompanied by a bottle of vodka and a small bag of weed. She didn't see him coming, she was sat on top of that boulder just staring out at the same scenery she'd seen a million times before. As he approached he decided to stand in front of her to eliminate the chance of him startling her as he emerged from the darkness. When he'd placed himself before her the city lights of LA illuminated her features and he had to fight the urge to climb on top of her and devour her in his drunken state. But he didn't have to move. She slipped down from the rock and stood ever so close to him, their chests almost touching. She gazed up at him with watery eyes and he could see the guilt swimming in them. Emily opened her mouth to what Jared could only assume was another apology, but he interrupted her before she could get the words out.

 

"Stop." Jared shook his head to cease her upcoming sorry. "Don't."

 

"But I'm-"

 

"Don't!" Jared instructed louder than he had before. He stared into them big brown eyes and he felt as though he was looking into the eyes of a kitten. So small and fragile yet so capable of causing mischief. He was about to ask the inevitable question, ask why she stood him up when before he could take a breath to ask she'd placed her arms around his waist and snuggled her face into his chest. He didn't move for a second, just let her cling onto his body. It wasn't until he felt her shoulder slightly shaking with sobs that he wrapped a strong arm around her shoulders and wove his fingers through her thick and matted hair.

 

But there he found himself, staring at the side of her face. Everything she'd just told him still bouncing around his brain. How she'd not met him for dinner because she was so nervous she'd done a line of Ketamine and ended up falling into a K-Hole and not being about to stand for an hour or so. How she'd been spending the little money she did have on hard drugs. How she'd slept with men just to get a fix. How she'd been chasing the life she had in Florida. How most days she felt like just slitting her wrists and ending it all. Her puffy face was glistening with tears and his hand never left hers. Jared couldn't help but feel that he was slowly enveloping her, discovering tiny parts of her that nobody else had discovered, from the pictures on the memory card to everything she'd just told him about her life, Jared felt like he'd found the key to her soul and now it was up to him to keep her afloat.

 

"Sometimes I feel like, my life is just a downward spiral and that there is just no way to escape. I mean, I'd been fighting that feeling for so long. Trying to get rid of it, and I did. In Florida I'd gotten rid of it, but it came back and it's honestly eaten me alive since then. I thought I could manage, I had before when I was so much younger. But I as home then I guess. Now I'm here. 1000 fucking miles from home and I can't escape the feeling that I was just fucking born to be alone." She started to stuttered on her words as the sobs rattled up her throat and Jared felt like she was disintegrating in his palms. "I'm still really sorry about tonight Jared." She turned to face him now, holding his hand in hers and nestled their twisted fingers in her lap. "I know it's not really an excuse, and I'm so fucking embarrassed I did that to myself before our dinner. I just, I was scared. I didn't know what else too do. I was fucking mess. But seriously I feel so fucking awful for treating you like that. You don't deserve that. You don't deserve to be treated the way I treated you tonight-"

 

"How do you know what I deserve?" Jared interrupted her speech. He felt like she was laying herself to bare in front of him and he felt it only fair if he opened up slightly in return. Emily was silent, her eyes burning into his. "I understand, Emily. I do."

 

"You don't though. We're from two different worlds Jared."

 

"I understand though." He raised his voice. "I understand what it's like to be alone. Fuck, I've felt alone for the better part of the last 10 years. I can't even remember what it feels like to be needed by someone."

 

"Plenty of people need you." Emily said in a small voice and Jared scoffed.

 

"I'm not talking about our fans and all that shit. I'm talking about the need. The stability, the fucking comfort of knowing someone else is just going to be there, without question. So don't tell me I don't understand being alone, I've fucking perfected loneliness."

 

She watched him as he took a swig from the bottle of vodka that sat next to them atop the boulder and she felt the longing in her body for him. The ache that settled deep down in her stomach. He wasn't what she was expecting he'd be, and that just made everything seem a bit more real, a bit more doable. He was a possibility and she was slowly realizing that.

 

"Wanna go somewhere?" Jared asked simply, his voice warm and inviting like a roaring fire on a snowy day and without hesitation she nodded her head at his request.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

"I need to confess something." Jared slurred from beside her. They were laying under a blanket in front of the fire pit in his back yard, the sky rapidly changing into a lighter shade of blue as the morning came closer, the reflection of the stars above them slowly fading from the pool just past the fire. The empty bottle of vodka laid somewhere below them and they were both feeling drunk from the alcohol and drunk from each other's company. "I saw some pictures of you the other day."

 

Emily turned her head to face him. His eyes gleamed and his bottom lip was between his teeth. His face was full blown cheeky and she didn't even feel slightly embarrassed by the pictures she knew he'd seen. Really, she felt somewhat sexy and empowered.

 

"Yeah. I thought them pictures were on that card I gave you. But I wasn't sure."

 

"Well you're sure now." Jared laughed nudging his knee against her legs. He snuggled up a bit closer towards he body in case his announcement made her feel awkward, but from the smile upon her lips he knew he was safe. "I liked them."

 

"I bet you did." She laughed loudly.

 

"I'm serious Em. They were gorgeous. You are gorgeous." His voice was deadly serious and the intensity in his eyes had quickly put her on edge. She felt the wave of heat crash over her and her cheeks engulf in a blush from his words. She averted her gaze towards the flames of the fire and he could tell that maybe he'd gone a bit too far. He meant what he'd said. But he could tell it might have been too soon to call her gorgeous, or at least mean it with such sincerity. 

 

"You want to call it a night?" He asked in a small voice, placing his hand on her thigh and giving it a heart warming squeeze. She didn't want to call it a night. She wanted to stay. But she knew what was an indirect invitation to leave when she heard one. So she nodded with a small smile and stood from her seat and went to leave his home when she felt his hand grab her by the wrist.

 

"You can stay here if you want." He didn't think before he spoke. He just panicked at the notion of her leaving his side. "I have the room."

 

Her heart began pounding at his offer and she felt her palms grow clammy with impending connotations of her staying the night. She was so game for staying over, she was one hundred percent willing. But she still replied, "Thanks Jared, but that's okay." in fear that she'd end up getting in far too deep far too quickly and have to out up with broken soul as well as a broken heart.

 

"It's too late, there won't be any cabs now. And you're drunk. I'm not letting you get home at this time." Jared stood then to his full height, towering over her figure. He looked down into her chocolate eyes and stroked his way up her arms until his hands rested against her shoulders, his thumbs rubbing circles against the skin that was exposed. He took a deep breathe, breathing her into his lungs and with one hand wrapped the blanket they'd been nestled under around her shoulders in one swift motion, clasping it shut at her front.

 

"I'll be fine. I'm a grown woman." She smiled sweetly up at him.

 

"I know that. But..." Jared licked his lips. "You're staying with me." She breathed a giggle at his order as Jared continued. "And that's final."


	5. FIVE

Emily was awoken by the sun in her eyes. She slowly peeled them open into a squint as the fluorescent yellow rays of light blinded her and she rubbed the back of her hand against her eyes like a baby to shut the light out once again. She pointed her toes under the thick, fluffy duvet and stretched her legs out to capacity and rolled her body over to face away from the wide open window. As Emily fidgeted her body around she was faced with someone that she had completely forgotten was beside her. Due to the sizzling morning sun and the sleep dusted in her eyes she hadn't registered that the window she was facing wasn't hers.

His eyes were closed and his mouth was slightly ajar. His brown hair draped down the side of his bearded face like a blanket and Emily couldn't resist the urge to touch him. She couldn't help herself. She knew that she would never have the confidence to touch him like this when he was awake and conscious so she took her chances and advantage of his sleepy state.

First, she gently lowered her fingertips to the side of his face barely touching the curtain of hair that laid across it. Slowly, she lowered her fingers as they softly sank into his hair. She proceeded to combed her thin fingers through the brown and tangled strands until they skimmed the rough and course hairs of his beard. Emily was about to plunge her fingers into his burly beard when Jared stirred slightly. He licked his lips and took a deep breathe and wriggled slightly next to her. Emily froze. Terrified that he'd open his eyes and see her laying there next to him and realize that she had stayed the night with him, terrified that she'd see the regret fill his eyes when he'd wake up to her face. As stealthily as she could manage, Emily pulled her body, limb by limb, away from Jared's and as gracefully as possible, left his bed. She made the move to look for her clothing, as that was what she was used to doing after leaving a mans bed, but she was startled to find that she hadn't taken her clothes off. She couldn't recall ever being in a situation like that. Waking up the morning after from not fucking a guy. She was a little shocked that they'd both controlled themselves, a little fuzzy as she was so drunk the night before she couldn't remember if they'd maybe tried to have sex but she was also a little pleased with the fact that they hadn't had sex. Emily didn't want to fuck anything up. Especially not by complicating things and making things awkward that drunk sex can sometimes provide, especially as she was beginning to really like Jared, a lot more than she was willing to admit and also as now Jared was in fact her employer.

As Emily descended the stairs to his home, she held her breathe. Trying to manoeuvre through rooms filled with instruments and scribblings without been heard by the sleeping Jared she'd left upstairs. As Emily turned a corner she was stopped dead in her tracks as she came across a petite figure with heavenly blue eyes and thin, straight dirty blonde hair staring back at her, a blue mug between her palms almost to her lips. The girl just stared back at Emily from behind her desk, taking in Emily's ripped pantyhose, the flannel button up that was belted in the middle to appear like a dress that was hanging of one shoulder. She couldn't help but judge and conclude that Jared's standards were dropping.

"Did you stay here the night." The figure asking bluntly. He icy eyes freezing Emily's soul to the core. She couldn't form the words to answer, so she simply nodded.

"Did you sleep with him?" Still Emily couldn't find the words to answer the petite girl so she just shook her head no. This was when the petite girls eyebrows raised. The evident shock was stricken across her face and Emily couldn't help but fidget in her spot, shifting from her left foot to her right. Physically feeling the small girl's judgement. She suddenly stood and approached Emily and even though she was shorter than her, Emily couldn't help but feel like the shortest girl in the room.

"So you slept here the night, in his bed. And you didn't have sex with him?"

"I didn't have sex with him." Emily found her voice growing a little annoyed that this tiny girl was trying to intimidate her. The petite woman just stared back. Squinting her eyes and dragging them over every freckle, every blemish and every wrinkle on Emily's face, judging her completely. Emily squinted back her, knowing exactly what the blonde was doing and she didn't appreciate it at all. She didn't need to be judged by another person who was evidently better of than her, Emily was pissed off at being looked at like dirt. She scoffed and push passed the woman in front of her, knocking her shoulder in hers and setting her stumbling backwards. Emily didn't care if she appeared rude, in fact she was glad if the blonde got offended. She wasn't in his house to be judged by another woman, she was there because he wanted her there and she wasn't going to let some tiny woman who she could flick away with a swipe of her hand make her feel awkward.

* * * * * * * * * * *

When Jared awoke he was expecting to see a bundle of black curls next to him, but when all he found was the cool white of an empty pillow he felt his heart sink lower than it should of. He sat up and rested his elbows against his knees and placed his tired face into his hands, letting out an exasperated sigh. Confusion building up in his mind as to why she felt the need to skip out on him and let him down again. It bothered him that he was so disappointed that she was gone when he awoke, he was trying his hardiest not to get attached to her, not to care about whether she was there of not, but there was something there, something about Emily that just made him latch on. He scolded himself for being such a fool. He never got attached to any women he'd met before, never cared if all the models and actresses he'd slept with were there in the morning, if anything he would be pleased to see them gone. But not Emily. He wanted her to stay.

As he laid back down, snuggling himself up under his duvet he could still smell her next to him as he peered over to where her body used to be. He found a long black hair standing out against the white of the pillow. The only evidence that she was there at all. He stared at it for a while, contemplating whether or not to brush it away or keep it there. But gave up when he realized that brushing a hair away won't do the same for the way he was feeling. So he rolled onto his belly and buried his face in the pillow ignoring the empty space beside him completely.

* * * * * * * * * * *

"Em, baby. You can't be serious!" Benny was on the phone. He was talking loudly in his overzealous Italian accent that she was sure he over exaggerated at times. He was trying to get her to some party. Tempting her with free drugs and free alcohol. Normally, Emily would jump at the chance, not even needing to be tempted to go. But something in her just didn't want to go. She would much rather stay at home, maybe go out and take some photographs as she was now a hired photographer. That feeling was very foreign to her, not wanting to go out and get ruined and it left her wondering if Jared was the reason she couldn't be bothered with that whole scene anymore.

"Emily, I haven't seen you in days. What have you been up to?!" Benny's voice was quieter and she could hear that he'd stepped out of the party to speak to her as the heavy bass of the music had subsided.

"I've been working Benny." She replied with a grin, quite proud of herself.

"Working?! Working like, a job? When did this happen?!"

"The other day. I meet a guy who was looking for a photographer to work for him, he liked my work, and now someone is my boss." She laughed slightly, the whole idea of her being employed seeming quite unrealistic.

"Well fuck me and call me Fernado! You know what this means right?!"

"The opportunity to get my life out the toilet." Emily stated as though promising this to herself.

"No." Benny replied with a scoff, almost like the possibility of Emily getting somewhere in life was untouchable. "It means a pay check. Which means more money to party." Emily knitted her eyebrows together as a dull pain passed through her forehead, she felt as though she was banging her head against a brick wall. "Do you realise what standards you could be buying when someone's putting money into the bank?! Oh Em! We're gonna be living in fucking luxury!" Benny started laughing and Emily was getting annoyed at Benny's belief that she'd fund his habit as well as her own, if she even funded hers at all. The thing with Benny was that he enjoyed being a fuck up, where as Emily didn't. She did that to herself because she was running away from a feeling whereas Benny was doing it because he simply had nothing better to do. "Look Emily. Come down to this party. It's not some crazy junkie party okay, it's like thirty people all just raving out, getting wasted and dabbing some MD. Don't be a flake, get down here."

"Benny, I can't. I just-"

"Well you don't have a choice." Benny interrupted. "I all ready sent someone to get you. There's a car outside your apartment right now." Just then there was a bang on her door making the breathe jump out of her lungs. She put the phone to her ear to scold Benny for doing this to her, but all she heard was his cackle of a laugh before the line went dead.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Laying on the couch under a huge crocheted blanket his grandma made him a handful of Christmases ago with his knees pulled up to his chest and his head resting on his arm Jared felt rather pathetic. He felt like a child who'd had his favourite toy confiscated and was sulking about it until it returned. He was still reeling about Emily's leaving that morning, feeling defeated and useless that she obviously didn't want to spend the morning with him like he did with her. Shannon, Tomo and Jamie were sat around the U shaped couch near him and he could feel Shannon's prying eyes burn into his face without even looking in his direction.

"You okay J?" Shannon asked throwing a piece of popcorn at Jared from the bowl he kept in his lap, trying to grab his attention. Jared just ignored him. Didn't move at all. He continued to stare absentmindedly at the floor, not acknowledging anyone.

"Jared?" Jamie asked somewhat cautiously, in fear Jared would just blow up and storm out the room, he had a tendency to do that. He could be quite dramatic when he wanted to be. Jared only replied by grabbing the edge of the cosy patchwork blanket and pulling it over his head, closing himself off completely. He closed his eyes and listened to their muffled voices as they all continued to chat amongst themselves, agreeing that whatever was going on with Jared should just be left alone. He heard the click of high heels on the floorboards and gathered Emma had entered the room.

"Who's under the blanket?" She asked.

"Jared." Shannon replied simply and Jared just knew that Shannon was giving Emma the eyes telling her to not ask as to why he'd slumped himself away from them. But Emma being Emma, she brought it up anyway.

"Is he still upset about that girl leaving this morning?" That caught Jared's attention. His eyes shot open and his ears pricked upwards like a fox, now listening intently to the conversation Emma had started.

"What girl?" Tomo asked dumbfounded.

"That girl, you know the one who's a photographer, Jared showed us some of her pictures the other day. I don't know her name but she looked like she'd been dragged through a bush backwards. She was a mess." Emma replied as she perched on the arm of the coach. Her statement caught Jared's attention and fired up his temper. He threw the blanket of his body in a flurry and sat bolt up right, glaring at his assistant.

"You saw Emily this morning?" Jared asked, his eyes squinted and his brow furrowed.

"Yeah. I caught her leaving this morning." Emma replied glancing at the TV and taking a sip of whatever was in her blue mug. She didn't even look at Jared as she answered him, clearly not picking up on his aggravation.

"And why didn't you fucking stop her?" Jared swung his legs of the edge of the couch and rested his elbows on his knees. Emma looked at him now, realising it was a bigger deal than she'd thought.

"Since when do you ever want a girl to stay in the morning? Especially one you didn't sleep with?" Emma countered. The three other men watching this exchange all looked at each other with blank faces as they were all just learning that Jared's new employee had stayed the night.

"What has that got to do with you Emma? You don't know what's going on between Emily and I. You can't just assume that I want her gone. She does work for me now." Jared's voice was raising.

"Well like you said, I don't know what's going on so don't expect me to just know you want her to stay when I catch her making the dash! And anyway, she shouldn't of even been in the position to be sneaking out the morning after if she is your employee now, what's that got to say about her?" Emma's voice raised too. Jared considered Emma his best friend, so for them to argue wasn't exactly an odd occurrence. He saw her as a sister, and he argued with her more than his own real sibling. But he could see the hostility behind Emma's eyes for Emily and he didn't understand why she was getting so defensive.

"Emma for fuck sake!" Jared threw his hands in the air and threw his body back against the back of the couch, rubbing his hands against his bearded cheeks. "I can't believe you let her leave."

"How was I to know you wanted this chick to stay Jared?! I don't even know why you care anyway she looked like trash! Where did you find her? In a dumpster down some junkie alley way. Do you really want her associated with you and the team?! She is a complete fucking train wreck!"

Jared just stared at her. In disbelief that Emma was being so harsh. It was out of character for her and even Shannon, Tomo and Jamie's faces were white with shock at Emma's cruel words. Jared sat forward once more and stared Emma down. He was beyond arguing with her now, he as genuinely hurt. And really fucking angry she'd spoken about Emily like that.

"What did you just say?" Jared asked his voice cold and evil.

Emma didn't reply, just stared back at Jared as she slowly slunk into herself, realising that she'd gone too far and gotten too personal. She didn't know why she'd gotten so protective of Jared. She never cared before, but there was something about Emily that she just didn't trust. She didn't like the look of her and Emma couldn't yet put her finger on what was off about Emily, but she knew something wasn't right. The sound of a phone ringing suddenly broke the tension in the room and as it vibrated against the coffee table sat amongst the group, everyone's attention focused on the illuminate screen.

"Speaking of Emily." Jamie said.

Jared peered down and could see that it was his phone ringing on the table with the name Emily West Photographer written across the top. He stood from his seat, snatched his phone from the table and stormed out of the room not even giving anyone a glance over his shoulder or the story of how Emily as in his home that morning. He just left the room and answered her call. Before he even had time to say hello she was talking.

"Jared?" Instantly he could hear it. The fear in her voice. She sounded like a little girl who'd gotten lost somewhere. He could hear her crying through her voice and the music and loud voices in the background didn't make him relax much either.

"What's wrong? Are you okay?" Jared's animal instinct kicked instantaneously, that lion like streak of protection flaring up.

"I'm fucked up." She whimpered. "Jared, please help me." His heart was aching for her, hating that she sounded so scared. "I want to go home." He heard her sob on the other end of the line and he didn't need to hear anything else as he was out the door as quick as his feet would allow.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Emily was so embarrassed. She was so disappointing in herself for giving in to Benny. She knew what was going to happen to her, she knew she'd go to the house party and not be able to deny free drugs, however she didn't expect to be in this much trouble. She sat herself down on the concrete steps that lead up to the house the party was being held in and drew her knees up to her chest and tucked her balled up fists under her chin, she lowered her head and closed her eyes, taking deep breaths to calm her frenzied heart rate. She didn't know what she'd taken, but it was not MDMA. She knew as soon as she swallowed the crystals that some filthy looking guy offered up to her that something was off. Her hearing instantly faded and people's voices became muffled as though she was underwater, the feel of people touching her skin was rough and heavy as if they were intently trying to bruise her and people's facing were tracing. She waved her hand in front of her face and as she watched the trail of it follow behind her small hand and she felt the knot of despair tighten in her stomach. She tried to ask the guy what was in the bomb, but her hearing was so fucked she didn't hear his answer. And that's when the panic took her. When it came to drugs, Emily knew what she was doing. She'd taken a variety over the years and she knew exactly how to deal with certain effects, how to control the effects and what to do in case the effects were ever too intense. But these effects, she'd never even heard of let alone experienced. She was trying her hardest to keep herself calm and to ride it out, as that what you do when you've taken to much. You remain calm, tell yourself that you're in control of whatever you're feeling, and you ride it out. Eventually it will go, the effects will leave you. But whatever was happening to her was scaring her to the point where she couldn't help but let the tears of terror fall out the corners of her eyes as she was terrified that this was it. She was going to die. She was going to be just another junkie girl, found limp on the curb. So in that mad panic, she called Jared. Simply because she didn't have anyone else in her contacts to call that would help her.

As Emily breathed in through her nose and out through her mouth in big, full breaths she remembered what Benny had said. He said there was only about thirty people at the party. That was a lie. There at least a hundred drugged up lowlifes there, at least. He said there was just a few people dabbing MD. That was a lie. Emily passed a girl with a needle in her arm shooting up some brown mixture into her veins as she left in a daze to escape outside for some air. She ignored where she was and who she was around, feeling the dirt physically on her skin from the grot she'd gone to out of peer pressure. She was so ashamed of herself for going there. And so ashamed that Jared was going to see this and associate it with her. Emily was certain that when he'd see the filth she spent her free time in, she'd lose her new job title as well as him as a friend. And that just made her feel so much shittier about her situation.

She was feeling so many things; she was ashamed of where she'd gone too, she was embarrassed to be seen here by the one person who was important to her, she was scared to death that she'd taken fucking crack or something and was going to just collapse there and then and not get back up and a part of her was hopeless, that evil voice in her head telling her that she was worthless and she was just as much good as that vile girl with the infected needle in her vein. Emily quickly opened her legs and put her head between them, feeling as if sick was about to pour out of her system. She wanted to be sick, get the fluids out of system even though she knew it was too late, the drugs all ready in her blood stream, but she couldn't. She gagged hoping for something to come out, but nothing did.

Ad she rose her head from between her knees, she noticed her hearing had come back slightly, she could make out the bass of the music playing and she could feel it more as it vibrated through her body. She stretched her hands wide, fingers splayed in the cold night air as she noticed she'd had the balled up so tight they'd lost all feeling. As she flexed every muscle in her hands she heard voices grow louder from behind her. She didn't turn to look, not caring enough as to see was happening, but she didn't have to look. Two guys walked down the steps beside her until they reached the bottom. Emily noticed that there was a stick thin, blonde girl wearing barely anything hanging of both their shoulders. From the dirty pink leopard print dress the girl was wearing Emily recognized her as the girl with the needle in her arm from inside. She watched as the two men put the woman on the concrete sidewalk and she watched as her body became limp and lifeless. People started to pour out of the house, gathering around the woman then running back inside, shouting for someone to call an ambulance. People were shouting at the woman and slapping her face trying to get her eyes to stop from rolling back into her skull.

Emily felt the need to be sick again as she realised what she was seeing. She wasn't stupid, she knew that the woman was dying. Obviously overdosing on whatever she shot up and suddenly all the strange effects she was feeling moments before had gone. Scared out of her blood stream with the scene playing out in front of her. Emily felt the water build up in her eyes and everything became blurry as she blinked the tears away. She wiped them away with the back of her hands and pulled her gaze away from the woman as her small frame started to convulse on the sidewalk. Emily glanced away, looking straight ahead and it was if her prayers had been answered.

Stood in a black hoody with the hood thrown over his head and a pair of old sweatpants, Jared was stood at the end of the stairs in front of Emily. His eyes on the woman only feet away from them. His face was pale and his eyes were wide and Emily felt terrible that it was her fault he was witnessing such a sight. She sobbed loudly as the guilt rattled through her lungs and Jared's head snapped towards her.

Jared had never seen anyone look so broken. She looked so small and terrified and he felt the tremor of a sob ripple through his own body as he felt her sadness. He knew then, looking at her tear covered face and her small body hunched up on the steps that this wasn't Emily. These people that she'd associated herself with and spent her time around, these lost and hopeless people, she was not one of them and he knew right then and there that he would never let Emily become one of them. He was going to save her. He had to save her.

Jared beckoned her over to him without a word. Just waved his hand calling him to her. Emily didn't need another instruction. She stood up and all but ran down the stairs towards him. His arms were open as she approached and she fell into his embrace, her face buried in his neck as the cry she'd been swallowing before finally came out. Jared locked his arms around her firmly, holding her against his body as if she would disintegrate. He let her cry as he gently lifted her feet of the ground removing her from the steps completely and placing her down on the sidewalk in front of him. With his arms still around her body and not a second glance to the scene playing out beside them, he ushered her away from the horrifying scene until they reached his car. He leant her body back against the passenger door. He removed his arms from around her and gingerly placed them on her face, pulling her head out of his neck. Her eyes were wet and red and her nose was running and she could hardly catch her breathe. Jared's heart cracked slightly at the sight of her and he was annoyed at himself that he wasn't there sooner to protect her, keep her safe from the danger of them weird men with weird drugs.

Jared pulled the sleeve of his hoody over his hand and wiped her cheeks clean of tears, he pinched her nose cleaning that also and she breathed a thankful giggle as he cleaned her face. She gazed up at him with big brown watery eyes that looked like crystals under the moonlight and Jared swallowed the lump in his throat. He placed his lips against her forehead and gave her a gentle kiss as she snaked her arms around his waist.

"You're okay." Jared whispered, his lips still against her forehead. "I'm here now."


	6. SIX

The subtle sound of crunching stirred Emily from her sleep. She blinked a few times as she wriggled her body under her duvet as she thought she was just imagining the sound, her mind still playing tricks on her as the miniscule remains of the drugs still floated around her body. But when she heard the sound again accompanied by the clink of silverware against china, she scanned her tiny bedroom.  
Jared was sat up right, his eyes watching the old television on her dresser and a bowl of what Emily made out to be cereal in his hands. He hadn’t noticed that Emily was now laying on her back staring up at him. With his gaze firmly set on the news cast that was playing on her TV as he shovelled a spoonful of overflowing fruit loops into his mouth, a few of them falling of the spoon and landing in his beard. As he placed the spoon into the bowl and settled it neatly in his lap, without looking at Emily for a second, his hand went to the top of her head as he began to weave his fingers through her thick hair rubbing her head as if she was a cat who had curled up beside him. He was still fixated on the news as Emily peered up at him as he massaged her scalp and he hadn’t notice she was even awake until she giggled under her breathe. He looked down at her with his fingers still lost in the dark curls and smiled at her.  
“You’ve got a fruit loop in your beard.” Emily giggled as she pushed herself up right, snuggling into his side and bringing the duvet with her, nestling it under her chin. Jared laughed and removed the escaped fruit loop and threw it in the bowl in his lap and let Emily wriggle close to him. He knew they had to speak soon, about the previous night. But he didn’t want to be too hasty, hoping Emily would be the first to speak. He waited a few minutes for her to begin, but with no indication of Emily planning to talk, he thought he’d be the first to.  
“How are you feeling this morning?” He nudged her head gently with his shoulder. There was a beat of silence before she replied.  
“Embarrassed.”  
“What are you embarrassed for?” Jared was watching the top of her head, waiting for her to look up at him, he wanted her to see the sincerity in his eyes and make her feel the safety he was trying to wrap around her.  
“Because.” Emily breathed deeply. “Because you should of never seen what you did last night. I’m embarrassed I made you see that.” Jared couldn’t deny what he’d seen at that crack house party had disturbed him. He hadn’t slept much that night due to the image still playing in his mind, but he was more concerned about Emily. Worried that she’d seen more than that incident he had and how easily that could have been her.  
“Yeah but, that wasn’t your fault was it?” He nudged her head once more and she peered up at him. His eyes were intense as they looked so deep within her she could feel them gazing her soul. “You shouldn’t be embarrassed about something that was out of your control.”  
“It was in my control though Jared. I didn’t have to call you. I didn’t have to make you come and get me, you could of avoided seeing that whole thing. It’s my fault.”  
“Don’t be stupid.” He laughed softly meaning nothing but the best. “I’m glad you called me.” His eyes bleed with honesty. “If you didn’t call me, you could have been that girl last night.” He watched her swallow, she knew he was telling the truth. “Don’t be so stupid to be embarrassed by something like calling me when you need me.”  
Emily sat upright, removing herself from Jared’s side and reached over into her bedside table pulling out a carton of cigarettes and a small bowl she used as an ashtray. She lit the cigarette and inhaled deeply, resting her head back against the wall gazing up at the ceiling. She could feel Jared’s eyes on the side of her face and she felt like she was under a microscope. Even though he tried to stop her from feeling bad about the previous night, she couldn’t help but feel like a complete idiot. She knew in some respects that Jared was right, he did come and save her, and it could have been her on the sidewalk having a fit. But the guilt continued to fester in her stomach that he’d seen something horrifying because she’d led him too it.  
“I’m sorry Jared.” Emily spoke quietly, as if she was speaking to herself. Her eyes never leaving the ceiling. “I’m really sorry.” She felt him shift beside her. His body now facing towards her. “I’m supposed to be your employee. I’m supposed to be your photographer. And look at me. Look at my life.” She placed the cigarette to her mouth and pulled on it slowly. Exhaling from her nose. “I’m no good, Jared. I’m no fucking good.” Emily threw the duvet of her body as she felt the tears sting her eyes. She needed to get away from him before she lost control of her emotions, revealing to him just how unstable she truly was. As she walked into the living room of her apartment she heard him calling her name but ignored him as best she could. Just like she thought he would, he followed her into the living room and Jared was surprised to see her stood holding open the front door.  
“You should go Jared.” He noticed her lip quivering. “You’ve all ready done so much for me,” She licked her lips and swallowed. “But you need to go and not come back.” Jared didn’t move a muscle, just stood his ground watching her. “I’m no good Jared.” She repeated, this time a little louder than she had before. “Please go.” She croaked and a small sob escaped her lungs. Jared walked towards the door as if he was going to do as Emily ordered and leave. But to her surprised he just pulled the door from her grasped, closed it and locked it. Leaving them both stood facing each other.  
“I’m not going anywhere Emily.” Jared reached a hand out brushing a lone tear from her cheek that had escaped her eye and she turned her head into his touch. He stepped towards her, trapping her against the wall. He brought his other hand up and held her face in place so he could stare into those brown pools of chocolate he was finding so hard to resist and whispered, “Please let me stay.”  
Emily couldn’t stop the tears. She was broken. Her life and spirit was shattered into thousands of pieces. She’d known this for sometime now, so that wasn’t what upset her. The fact that Jared was refusing to leave was what was making her cry and the inevitable fact that he was becoming more and more of an acquaintance to that side of her. She was scared. Scared to around him. She didn’t want him to get to know her because she was always so ashamed of herself. She didn’t want him to be associated with her. He was far too well known and she would destroy his name. She was terrified that she was going to ruin him without meaning it whatsoever.  
“Why do you want to?” Emily regained some composure. “You saw what happened last night. That is my life Jared. Why do you want to stay when that’s who I am-”  
“That’s not who you are though!” Jared cut her off, his fingers had slipped down from her cheeks to her neck. “I know that whatever that scene was last night. That is not where you belong.” Jared continued to move his hands lower, his fingertips brushing over her collarbones and down her arms so he was grasping her elbows. “If you were anything at all like them wasters then I wouldn’t have needed to pick you up and I wouldn’t of found you crying and scared, would I?”  
Jared knew Emily knew he was right. She wasn’t one of them people, he knew it as clear as day. He just couldn’t understand why Emily didn’t believe it. Was her self esteem so low that she honestly believed that she was like them people with nothing to live for? Jared’s heart sunk at the idea that she honestly thought that was what she was worth and he promised himself that he’d show her a completely different life, one she deserved.  
“What are you doing here Jared?” Emily sniffed and asked him knocking his focus away from his plea to himself to protect her onto the seriousness of her tone. He furrowed his brow and tilted his head slightly and she could see he didn’t quite understand what she was getting at. “Why did you stay with me last night? Why did you stay here?”  
“Because.” Jared took his time, thinking his answer over. He didn’t really have a reason, he just simply didn’t want to leave her by herself. “I wanted to look after you.” Emily shook her head as she looked at the ground. He couldn’t read her emotions too well. She walked across the room and planted herself in the furthest corner of the sofa leaving him stood dumfounded. “Do you have a problem with me wanting to look after you?” Jared didn’t move from where he stood and the look of confusion never left his face.  
“I don’t need looking after.” Emily was aggravated. She didn’t know what Jared’s angle was or why he’d taken it upon himself to baby sit her. Sure she had feelings for the guy, had them since she met him in that charity event, but she wasn’t a child.  
“You needed looking after last night.” Jared countered.  
“Yeah but last night I was fucked. I didn’t want to call you in the first place the only reason I did was because you were the only person I had in my contacts that I knew would come and take me home. I didn’t need anyone to stay with me overnight and I definitely didn’t need to wake up to anyone and have them stroke my hair and linger around in the morning.” Emily was being hostile just because he hadn’t left the first time she asked him too. If she was honest with herself, she wanted him, badly. She liked waking up to him that morning and she wouldn’t mind making that a usual occurrence but she was a bad girl, and there was too much riding on her job title he’d given her and the fear that she’d drive his reputation into the ground was far too great to ignore.  
Jared wasn’t stupid. He saw right through her words and he could tell this was some defensive mechanism she had, being cold. She was trying to get him out the door once again. But it wouldn’t work, he’d made the decision he was staying whether she liked it or not because whether or not she was aware of it yet he was going to put her life back together piece by piece. He made a quick and spontaneous decision and walked over to her slowly and instead of taking a seat next to her he sat himself down on the coffee table so he could look directly at her face.  
“In the last five years I’ve not met one woman who made me feel the way you do. Every girl I’ve met has either tried to sleep with me right of the bat, bored me to death with an empty conversation or followed me around like a lost little puppy. But you, I can’t explain it. You make me feel like a person and not a photo opportunity.” Emily’s eyes softened and he knew then that opening up to her was a good decision well made. “Remember when I told you that night on the hills that I perfected loneliness. That’s because I hadn’t found anyone worth not being lonely for, but you. I don’t know what it is. But I just feel this empty space in me when you’re not around me. To be honest with you, when I found out you were a photographer, and an amazing photographer at that, I didn’t need another second to offer you a job for me. You’re nothing I’ve ever found before, you’re like a rare diamond or something. I’m not asking you to be with me and I’m not asking you to consider anything. I just don’t want to leave yet.”  
His ice blue eyes bored into her face and she felt them freeze her heart, stuttering the beating and causing her lungs to struggle to inhale full breaths. She didn’t believe she heard him correctly. She must have blacked out and just imagined them words fall out of his mouth. The penny slowly dropped in her mind, the words he’d spoken all coming together for her to gather he was, in so many words, saying he had that same unexplainable need for her as she had for him. He watched her face and he could see the cogs working in her mind, analyzing and picking apart his speech. He smiled sweetly at her bemused expression and nudged her knee with his trying to pull her focus back onto him. Emily blinked and licked the corner of her mouth.  
“Well.” She started in a low and cautious voice. “I guess, you can stay a bit longer if you want to.” She blinked again and watched a proud smirk cover his lips as Jared stood in front of her and planted himself next to her so closely that there was no space in between them at all. Her eyes never left his face as he put his feet up on the coffee table, wrapped his arm around the back of the couch behind Emily’s neck and flicked on another small TV that was in front of the coach they both were situated on. Jared couldn’t help feel like he was now the one under a microscope as Emily stared at him as if he was a mythical creature and he knew full well she was seeing him in a completely different light now.  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
The house was too quiet. It was the first thing Jared noticed. He couldn’t hear any faint music playing and he couldn’t hear any voices chattering away. It was completely silent. It wasn’t that late either, not late enough for people to have left and gone home so there had to be someone indoors. He traced through room after room looking for any signs of life when he picked up the sound of a news reader. He followed the voice like a police dog and was lead to find a cosy Shannon with his legs under the crocheted patchwork blanket and a pillow beneath his head. Jared coughed slightly so Shannon knew he was there and when he saw him a mischievous grin spread across the eldest brothers face.  
“Why are you smirking?” Jared asked as he climbed over the back of the couch sitting to his brothers right. Shannon laughed obnoxiously.  
“Why do you think I’m smirking squirt?” That nickname always bothered Jared. Even when he was twelve it bothered him and almost thirty years later it still ticked him off.  
“I don’t know obviously, hence why I asked.” Jared replied bluntly.  
“I’m smirking at the fact you stayed with our new photographer last night.” Shannon peered over to him and Jared new instantly there was not really any point denying it as his brother had all ready worked everything out, he still attempted to fool him none the less.  
“I didn’t stay-”  
“Wow!” Shannon laughed out loud once again cutting Jared’s blatant lie of. “You definitely did stay with her, there is no point denying it squirt. You one hundred percent stayed with this Emily girl last night.” Shannon picked up the remote and turned over the channel.  
“What makes you so sure? I could have been anywhere?”  
“Right, you could of gone absolutely anywhere straight after this chick who’s nudes you have saved to your computer called you last night.” Jared then gathered that Shannon believed that he met up with Emily last night for sex and he contemplated correcting him. But Jared didn’t want Shannon or anyone in the team to know the real situation with Emily. Not until he’d done what he planned to do and steal her away from it. “Emma was pissed dude.” Shannon announced as he flicked through the channels.  
“I know! I don’t know what her problem is. She’s never had an opinion like that on any woman I’ve let stay over before.”  
“You don’t know that.” Shannon dropped the remote, settling on South Park. “She’s turned her nose up at every girl that’s ever been through your bedroom. She just never did it in front of you like she did last night.” Shannon’s concentration was on the cartoon in front of him while Jared studied his face and his words.  
“What are you getting at?” Jared trod carefully.  
“All I’m saying squirt is,” Shannon looked to his little brother. “Emma cares about you, a lot. I’m not going to get into it because it’s something you need to speak to her about, but just consider her more.” Jared’s eyebrows furrowed as he quickly read into what Shannon had said.  
“Are you saying that like, Emma has feelings for me or something? I don’t understand.” Jared shifted, sitting cross legged and crossing his arms across his chest.  
“No.” Shannon chuckled once more and shook his head back and forth. “She doesn’t have feelings for you. But like, she thinks of herself as more than an assistant to you.-”  
“I think of her as more than an assistant. In a lot of ways she’s pretty much my best friend.” Jared interrupted.  
“Exactly.” Shannon exclaimed. “So treat her like a best friend. Don’t keep her in the dark about certain things.”  
Jared was annoyed that Emma had obviously confided in Shannon about some problem she was having with him. A problem he wasn’t conscious was even a problem in the first place. He was also annoyed that he was getting some lecture about treating Emma like more than an assistant when he thought he always had. He begun to doubt himself. Trying to recall times when he might of said something or did something that made her feel like she was below him. Shannon could see his brother thinking the conversation over and as the look of confusion didn’t ease up on his face Shannon thought he’d clear the fog for him.  
“Look, J.” Jared snapped his head up towards him. “Emma doesn’t like it when you brings girls back her. She see’s this place as like, the work place and she gets annoyed when you fuck girls here. I don’t care, and neither does anyone else. But it’s a problem Emma’s had for a while and she feels like you’re disrespecting the team when you fuck girls in the place we all work in together.” Jared blinked, letting it all sink in. Shannon picked up the remote once more, flicking through the channels once again. “You didn’t hear that from me though. And you should talk to her about it, it really bothers her.”  
“Yeah. I will do bro, thanks.” Jared licked his lips, made a mental reminder to have a conversation with Emma and swivelled his position to face the TV joining his eldest brother and best friend in watching a re run of Mad Men.  
 


	7. SEVEN

Emily was aimlessly hunting threw racks and rails filled with old clothes. She never shopped. She barely ever bought herself anything other than drugs and food. Every item of clothing she owned either belonged to a guy she'd fucked the night before who'd left something behind or something Benny had given her. She didn't own anything that was made for a girl. No dresses, no skirts. She barely wore a bra half the time. So for her to be shopping, and looking for a dress none the less, felt very unnatural to her.

She didn't know what exactly she was looking for, maybe something to just make her feel like a woman again and not a empty shell. She thought about trying something pink, thought about trying something low cut. But that wasn't the type of woman she was trying to feel like. She wanted to feel like herself. Like she once did in Florida. She wanted that sense of self again and not just the heavy impending weight on her shoulders of feeling like a ghost of who she used to be.

She was close to giving up as everything she came across in the good will was just so far away from anything she'd want to be seen in. But when a black lacy dress caught her eye her mind was changed. She held it up in front of her, it was quite long, stopping mid thigh, it was sleeveless and had a roll neck. It reminded her of something Stevie Nicks would wear and that's the only reason she decided to buy it.

It was getting colder in Los Angeles. Emily had noticed it more and more as the days went by because she had to wear more and more layers under her oversized denim jacket. As she stepped out of the good will back onto the streets she lit her last cigarette and began to slowly stroll back to her apartment, carrying nothing but her newly bought dress, her keys and her camera. She felt very serene in that moment, enjoy her own company for the first time in a long time. She wondered why she was so content to be by herself as she'd been running from loneliness since her feet touched the soil of L.A. She couldn't help but wonder if he was making her feel less alone in the world.

Emily felt a sudden tickle against her hip and it startled her slightly. She quickly touched the source of the shaking to discover that she had her phone on her, and it was ringing. She pulled it out and looked at the screen. She felt her temperature rise just reading his name and she felt stupid that a combination of five silly letters had such an effect on her.

"Hey boss." She answered with a smirked as she heard him breathe a soft laugh. "You okay?"

"Yeah I'm good. Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Are you free today? Preferably late afternoon?" Emily's pulse quickened as her mind set off on a tangent, thinking up all possible reasons he wanted to know if she was free or not.

"I think so, why?"

"There's a VyRt at 6 today and I wanted you to come over and take some behind the scenes photos of it." Emily knitted her eyebrows as she listened to his instructions. "Nothing you know, outlandish or impressive. Just a few shots of whatever happens so we can use them for promos and instagram and all that kind of stuff. Would that be okay?"

"So basically, you're asking me to come to work?" Emily smiled at the idea of working. She'd only ever dreamed of being paid to take photographs and for it to actually be happening still didn't seem real to her. She hadn't yet grasped the fact she was actually doing what she always hoped and prayed to do for her income. Jared laughed again more noticeably.

"Yeah I guess I am. Can you make it for 5?"

"If that's when you want me boss, then that's when I'll be." The line was quite for a moment and Emily wondered if he'd been cut off or if her phone had given in and committed suicide on her and broke. She listened carefully and could hear the click of a door and put the pieces together that Jared had either left a room or entered one.

"I like it when you call me your boss." He spoke in a low voice and Emily's mouth fell slightly open at the tone. She bit her lip and knew what he was doing and a part of her wanting to disregard his statement as some voice deep down inside her was shouting at her to get a grip and to stop flirting with her employer but that voice was quickly silenced by the irresistible urge to flirt back.

"Well that's what you are. You're the boss of me now." Her voice became silk as she replied. She heard a low grunt and had to hold back a squeal of excitement as she heard the evidence of the effect she had on him.

"Are you going to do what you're told? You going to listen to orders and obey them?" His voice was so smooth she could almost feel it against her skin, making the hairs stand on end and goose bumps ripple across. If she was at home in the safety of her apartment Emily knew she'd initiate a conversation with him that would have them both breathing heavy, but as she was still walking down the busy streets of L.A. she wasn't exactly in the correct place to talk dirty to her boss over the phone.

"That all depends, boss." She whispered.

"On what?"

"On how you punish me when I misbehave." She heard the quite 'fuck' he spoke from his lips and she smirked a wicked smile to herself. Yes, she had done what she intended and succeeded in getting Jared licking his lips for her taste. She was proud. She was proud that she could make him feel that way purely with words.

The faint sound of voices chattering to each other grew louder and Emily didn't need to be told. She knew that others had walked into whatever room Jared had isolated himself in and there conversation was over. It was bad enough that they were talking to each other in that way in the first place, let alone have her colleagues of whom she was yet to meet overhear. Jared coughed and Emily laughed at him. She could clearly see him in her mind, swallowing hard to clear his dry and hoarse throat and crossing his legs to hide his arousal.

"So can you make it to the lab for 5?" His voice was back to business and she already missed his strict and sexy side.

"Yeah, that's fine. I'll be there."

"Okay, good. I'll see you soon."

"Oh Jared. Before you go..."

"Yeah?"

"What the fuck is a VyRt and why am I taking pictures of it?"

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Jared sat still amongst a bustle of people. Everyone in the house was running around like headless chickens trying to organise and set everything up perfectly, down to the very final detail for the impending VyRt, but Jared was far too interested in his newly selected wallpaper strewn across the macbook placed in his lap. He kept the lid lowered slightly creating a problem for anyone who would of passed by to see the picture he'd set as his wallpaper because he didn't want people to see and interrogate him as to why he'd chosen to set it as the half naked picture of Emily she'd accidentally on purpose left on the memory card. He felt so sneaky having set her as his wallpaper and it reminded him of how he felt when he was a teenager and hid porn in his wardrobe.

"Jared?!" He heard his name somewhere behind him and he could tell it was Emma calling for him. Instead of standing from his place and finding her, he let her come to him as he couldn't bring himself to put his computer down. Her voice got louder and when he heard her heels clicking against the hardwood of the floor he had no choice but to close the screen in fear she'd catch a glimpse of Emily and hit the roof. Emma walked around Jared and stood directly in front of him with her weight on one hip, her arms crossed and her eyebrows raised as she peered down at him.

"What?" Jared asked, bothered she was lingering over him.

"If you don't want to help us set up for VyRt, that's fine. But can you at least get out the way so we can all do our jobs." She was annoyed at him and Jared knew that it wasn't the fact he was being lazy that was bothering her. He just stared back at her face, watching the muscles tense as she progressively got more and more frustrated with Jared's presence. He couldn't fight the smirk away as he almost laughed. The majority of the time he took Emma very seriously. But whenever she would throw a hissy fit he couldn't help but find her attempts at being dominate futile. Emma's scowl only grew deeper as the smirk grew across Jared's. She scoffed audibly and moved to walk away from him when he quickly reached for her, grabbing her by the hem of her sweater and pulling her back to face him.

"What's up?" Jared asked releasing his grip on her clothing and linking his fingers together patiently.

"What?" Emma's voice was sharp.

"What is up?"

"Nothing Jared. Are you done dicking around so I can work?" She moved to walk away from him a second time but this time Jared quickly raised to his feet stepping in front of her, blocking her path. He grabbed her shoulders and guided her gently backwards so she was now sat in the armchair Jared was situated in moments before. Emma opened her mouth to protest his actions but Jared once again over powered her.

"What is up with you lately? I know something is bothering you and I want to know why you've been so snappy and short tempered lately." Jared's blue eyes bored into her waiting for a response, but Emma just narrowed her eyes back. She knew what he was referring too.

"I'm not doing this now." She wriggled in her seat, trying to leave once again but Jared didn't even let her ass leave the seat.

"Yes you are." Jared's voice was stricter now and Emma knew she had no choice. "Tell me what's bothering you." Emma took a deep breathe and locked eyes with Jared.

"I'm not sure about this Emily girl." Jared felt the need to shake his head and sigh at how stupid her reason was. He wanted to kick off and argue the point that Emma didn't even know Emily so her opinion was all ready based on her own bullshit judgement, but he let her continue. "I mean. When I saw her that morning, she looked like fucking garbage Jared. Like, dirty and kind of, cheap. I mean you've bought girls here plenty of times before but when I catch them leaving the morning after they look, good. They're wearing their designer dresses and their 4 inch heels. That's the standard for you Jared. I... where did you even find this girl. Honestly, did you buy drugs of her or something? Jared, this girl is bad news. I'm telling you."

"Emma." Jared's voice never faltered the strict tone as after listening to her speech his blood was now boiling under his skin. "Who do you think you fucking are?" Jared's eyes turned vicious but Emma didn't back down.

"I'm your assistant Jared. I'm going to watch out for you whether you want me to or not."

"Right. Do that. Look out for me. Don't sit there and fucking judge this girl based upon one encounter. You don't know a quarter of the shit she's gone through-"

"And you do Jared?!" Emma's voice raised to a shrill and Jared could feel their conversation quickly escalating into an argument.

"Yes! I fucking know her. I know her and you don't so you have no fucking right to sit there on your high horse and judge her. She has her fucking reasons just like everybody else and I can not believe you have the audacity to think that of a girl you've never had a fucking conversation with." Emma stood up. Her height still not matching Jared's so she still craned her neck up to stared him down.

"When this all goes to shit. When she fucks not only you up, but your career as well you can not say that I didn't try and help. You can not say I didn't tell you so."

"Why do you have this opinion of her Emma?"

"I know her type. I've seen it happen to half the girls I went to high school with. She's a lost cause. A waster. And I will never understand why you fucking offered her a job in this company."

As Emma barrelled past Jared she crashed into his shoulder knocking him slightly of balance. He was lost for words. Her statement still seeping into his mind. He had tried. Tried to talk to her in a civil manner and put this whole situation to bed not only so Emily could work with the team and not receive filthy looks from Emma but because he didn't want his assistant to be annoyed at him. Emma never got mad. She was always calm and collected, very much so the backbone behind the whole operation. But Emily really got under her skin and he had tried to pry out the honest reasons but she shot him down with vicious words and angry statements. He breathed a sigh and tried not to let her comments get to him, but he cared about Emma. She was his best friend and Emily was slowly becoming a much bigger part of his life than he'd anticipated and he wanted the two girls he cared the most about to be able to be in the same room together without one of them throwing something at the other.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Every member of the team was all squashed around the iMac. People were craning necks and wiggling through to get a glimpse of the screen that Emily's freshly taken pictures were presented upon. Emily didn't go over to view them. She sat back patiently on the opposite side of the room watching her colleagues faces as Jared clicked through the slideshow and she couldn't help but feel her chest warm with pride as she witnessed people's eyes glimmer with amusement and their heads nod with acceptance as they viewed her work. She felt proud of herself. Proud that she'd created something worthy. Something that was accepted. It made her pleased that even though she didn't feel accepted 95% of the time, at least her photographs were welcomed with open arms.

She noticed Jared's eyes would flicker between the images adorn his screen, his teams reactions and Emily's face across the room. Every time he looked at her she couldn't help but wriggle under his stare as she saw the wide smile across his face, he looked so pleased with her. And she was glad. The only thing bringing down the perfect moment was Emma who was making it a point to not bundle around the computer with everyone else, instead keeping herself busy in the kitchen, isolating herself from everyone.

She received praise and pats on the shoulder from her colleagues as they all admitted that the work she'd provided was up to the standards they'd all expected. She smiled and thanked every one of them, happy that they'd all respected her and made her feel like one of them. She was so nervous when she arrived at The Lab. She stood at the front door for at least ten minutes before she knocked on the door, contemplating to just bolt and go home and hole herself up. She was terrified of meeting the people she was going to be working with and what they'd think of her. Before she entered the only member she'd met briefly was Emma and that was a car crash of a introduction, she thought they were all going to be like her, but they weren't, and she was thankful for that.

Slowly, everyone filtered out of the room, continuing with their own jobs and tasks as Emily didn't budge as she stayed in the chair across from the computer. She glanced back at the computer set up to find Jared remaining, his proud smile still painted across his face. He beckoned her over to him with the wiggle of his finger and Emily felt the inevitable smirk wash over her face. She made her way over to him at a painfully steady pace and stopped when her body was behind his seated self. She leaned forward, crossing her arms under her breasts, slightly pushing them together and giving him a fulfilling and scandalous view if he was to glance over his shoulder at her.

"You did well today." Jared's eyes didn't leave the screen as he continued to flick through the pictures Emily had taken for him.

"Thanks." She breathed next to his ear and he felt it caress the side of his neck and it made chills ripple down his spin. He gazed behind him to look at her face but his eyes were at the correct level to be faced with her chest and he wasn't able to continue moving his stare up to look at her face. Emily laughed at him and tilted her head to the side to try and catch his eyes. He looked at her begrudgingly and narrowed his eyes at her as a wicked smile took his face.

"Did you enjoy yourself today?" He asked and Emily nodded her reply. "I enjoyed having you working with us. You definitely proved me right."

"I proved you right?"

"Yeah. I knew you'd be a good addition to the team. You proved me right." Jared swivelled round on his computer chair so he was now facing her, his features so close to her chest she could feel his warm breathe against the exposed skin. She went to stand upright but Jared quickly ceased her movements by wrapping his hands around the backs of her jean clad thighs pulling her body closer to his. She almost tumbled on top of him if she hadn't put her hands against his shoulders to keep her balance intact. She tried to wriggle out of his grip, giggling as she moved, but he held her steady.

"Jared. Release me." Emily laughed as started to push against him trying to escape his clutches, but Jared only pulled her further between his legs wrapping a solid arm around both her thighs and one hand gripping her hands together by the wrist. Emily started to subconsciously glance towards the door in fear someone was about to walk through and Jared noticed.

"Don't look over there, look at me." Emily's eyes settled on his scruffy face and her wiggling ceased. The deep brown eyes she owned made his stomach drop and he felt the urge to wrap his entire body around her and keep her cemented in his grasp. He was going to do it, he was going to lean up and kiss her. Take the bull by the horns and kiss her. She felt it too as she licked her lips in preparation. He craned his neck almost timidly as he progressed forward when loud and heavy foot falls knocked them both out of the bubble of desire the pair had encompassed themselves in. Emily quickly pulled her hands out of Jared's hold and clasped her hands behind her back innocently as Shannon entered back into the room.

"We're all going for a hike up the hills. You wanna join?"

Jared saw the titillated smirk on his brothers face and felt like throwing something at him. This had been happening since they were teenagers. Shannon always loved to tease Jared, and catching him red handed with a girl practically in his lap was always fun for the eldest brother. Jared looked up at Emily to find her furiously nodding her head at Shannon.

"Count us in." Jared smiled back to his brother as he brushed his knuckles against the side of Emily's thigh that was still encased between his and Emily felt her heart flutter like a butterfly as Jared referred to the two of them as 'us'.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Emily was at the back of the group, trailing behind everyone as they rocketed up the mountain while Emily enjoyed taking her time leisurely strolling up the rocky terrain, she also appreciated the fact that Jared had linger behind somewhat, keeping himself in close proximity to her. The sun was setting quietly in the sky and there wasn't a cloud in sight creating a lush swirl of oranges and pinks and blues above the group. As she held her chin high taking in the heart warming atmosphere and closed her eyes. She breathed in deep through her nose and felt the cool air stretch her lungs. As she calmly released the air she held captive she felt something brush against her knuckles. She looked down to find a hand caressing hers, she followed the limb to it's owner and saw Jared with a peaceful smile on his face. She felt him grasp her palm against his and she felt like she was walking amongst the clouds. The pair of them slowed down until the others became smaller and smaller as they continued up the hill. They walked for a while, no words exchanged between them but just holding hands. Emily quickly lead him away from the trail, taking him to a secluded spot she'd found once before. She dragged him through shrubbery until she brought him out onto a tiny patch of grass that sat atop the edge of a steep cliff. Jared took in his surroundings and he'd never seen Los Angeles from this angle and it made him feel like he was seeing a completely different city. He saw parts he'd never noticed and he wondered if he would of ever seen his city that way without her. He saw her sit herself down on the grass and throw her legs over the edge. She glanced up at him from the ground and he took a seat next to her.

"I've never seen L.A. like this before." Jared spoke softly as his eyes still absorbed the city under the satin sky. "I mean, I've seen L.A. from up high before, but I've never had this view." Emily chuckled beside him. "It's breathtaking." He saw her nod from his peripherals.

"That's the thing though isn't it. You see things the same way for so long and they will eventually not look like they used to. But when you look at the exact same thing just from a different angle, it's seems even more beautiful than before." She paused and he turned to look at her face. Her skin looked warm under the orange of the sky and he could of sworn she was glowing in the evening heat. "I like that feeling. When you remember how beautiful everything is. Especially when you feel like complete shit and that everything is just going so terribly wrong. You just need to remind yourself to find the beautiful side again, and then things don't seem so bad."

Jared smiled at her face as he listened and he felt himself then, in that moment, fall slightly in love with her.

"I never thanked you, did I?" Emily's eyes met his and she noticed his looked more green than blue in the light of the sunset.

"Thanked me for what?" Jared knitted his brows together as Emily's brown eyes created an unbreakable stare into his blue ones.

"Everything." She breathed.

Jared licked his lips and reached out to her. He didn't take his stare from hers as his hand discovered her leg and gently circled his thumb against her inner thigh. She felt the quiver in her stomach as she realized his hand was dangerously close to being under her clothes but their eye contact never faltered.

"You know I'll always be there right?" He asked. "Whatever happens. I'll always be there for you." Emily swallowed as she gulped away the water that blurred her vision and threatened to spill onto her cheeks. She looked at his hand on her thigh and she sighed. When she lifted her face to met his once more, he noticed the strong look adorn her features and also that her eyes were closed. Emily took a deep breathe and spoke.

"I think you might be the best thing that's ever happened to me Jared."

Her words hit him like a ton of bricks and he didn't really know what to do with the tsunami of emotions that crashed over him as she said her statement. He didn't know what to do with that. It was a grand statement she was making and he wanted to cry, scream and laugh all at the same time due to the conflict of feelings that was happening in his head and heart. He leaned forward timidly and Emily lifted her chin slightly and dampened her lips as if she knew what was coming.

"You don't realise how much you mean to me Emily." He whispered as his face closed in.

They were centimetres apart and they both knew this was it. It was happening. Jared's eyes flitted closed and Emily leaned her upper body forward trying to bury herself within him. Her heart was beating so fast she wondered if he could hear it but she was too terrified to think, she just let her body move and react to him on it's own accord. Jared was just as terrified and had to physically clamp his fingers into Emily's thigh to stop himself from walking them up until his five fingers were lost in the fabric of her shirt. They were so close and it was happening.

Suddenly, a shrill electronic tone cut through the lust filled air like an axe and the both of them jumped apart from each other as if they'd been electrocuted. Both of them breathing heavy and feeling very silly as Jared reached into his pocket and pulled out his ringing phone and openly cursed at the fact Emma was calling him.

"What?" His voice was cold and irritated and Emily would of spoke to her in the same manner if she'd received the call. "I'm on the trail. Why?" Jared glanced in Emily's direction and she was looking out at L.A. once again, avoiding his face completely. "Yeah whatever, I'll be back when I'm back." Jared quickly ended the call and shoved the phone back into his pocket not before putting it on vibrate. He stared at the side of Emily's face and could see she was panicking over what just transpired between them. He reached over and poked a finger into her bicep causing her to glance sideways at him. Jared smiled and rose to his feet, holding his hand out her. She latched on and let him pull her to her feet. When she was stood directly in front of him she still avoided his eyes at all costs, but when Jared placed his palms against her cheeks she had no choice but to look at him.

"You wanna head back?" Jared asked, raising his eyebrows as he did so. Emily nodded and smiled slightly.

He draped his arm over her shoulder and let her wrap her arm around his waist as they begin to trek through the greenery back to The Lab before the night closed in on them. Jared didn't feel the need to say anything. They both knew what almost happened, and they both understood it didn't need commenting on. The silence between them didn't feel awkward or unnerving as the begun the journey back. It was a calm and acknowledged quiet and Jared smiled to himself as he strolled back down the rocky terrain with Emily snuggled into his side and under his arm at how easy being with her was and he knew that that wasn't an opportunity missed before Emma interrupted. He knew he'd get another chance to feel her lips, he'd make sure of it.


	8. EIGHT

With his hand in the box of cereal and his other grasping his phone scrolling through twitter Jared found himself thinking about nothing for the first time in a while. He'd been so stressed the past couple of weeks. He was continuously writing songs for an album that didn't yet existed, planning and brainstorming idea's for upcoming VyRt's and coming to terms with what exactly he had got himself into with the new project he just assigned himself to.

He stared blankly at the screen of his phone as he unconsciously shovelled Rice Krispies into his mouth and his mind would wander to thoughts about Emily. He smiled to himself as he recalled that she had been spending a lot more time around him. Taking pictures of almost everything that occurred at The Lab. They'd visited there little spot on the Hollywood Hills more often too, usually after a day of helping out and working with the team and it warmed his heart as it hit him then that she'd been holding his hand more often as the days went by. He continued to wonder about how he would tell her about the project he'd just agree to participate in. He wondered if she would still want to hold his hands when he had lost all the weight. He wondered if she would even talk to him whilst he would be wearing high heels and a wig.

"You okay there squirt?" Jared hadn't even noticed Shannon enter the kitchen. He looked over at his older brother to find him pulling a bottle of red wine out of the fridge. Jared raised his eyebrows at him. "What?" Shannon asked his brothers questioning gaze.

"Where are you going that requires red wine?"

"I'm going out with Harriet." The image of a leggy model with bright red hair and deep hazel eyes popped up in Jared's mind and he vaguely recalled Shannon mentioning that things were getting semi serious with said model. "Why don't you do something with Emily?" Shannon announced as he continued his rummage through the kitchen. Jared sat quiet for a moment, his stomach fluttering at the notion of seeing Emily so soon.

"Like what?" Jared asked in a quiet voice, trying to keep his sudden nerves under wraps as the notion that'd he be seeing Emily made him anxious as he wouldn't be able to not tell her about his new role.

"I dunno man. Why don't you take her out since last time you tried to it went to shit." Shannon leant against the counter opposite Jared and pulled the cereal box from his grasp and began to tuck into the rice puffs himself. Jared licked his lips and as hard as he tried the nerves in his belly wouldn't subdue. He didn't know why or where this sudden wave of panic came from but it wasn't welcome.

"I don't know Shan, she probably has better stuff to be doing tonight."

"Oh yeah? And how would you know that unless you called her and asked?" Shannon raised his eyebrows at smiled triumphantly. Jared sighed deeply and looked at the phone still in his other hand, working up the nerve to dial her digits. "Call her squirt. Don't be a pussy." Jared raised his head to find Shannon exiting the room placing a fedora atop his head and tucking the bottle of red under his arm.

Jared licked his lips and glanced down at his phone. He clicked onto his contacts and scrolled down to her name and just let his finger hover over her number. He knew the reason he was nervous to invite Emily over and it wasn't because of the potential 'date' status of their meeting or about being alone with her, he'd tried to take her on a date not even after a week of knowing her and he'd been alone with her a handful of times. It was the news he was going to inevitably tell her. He was nervous about what she was going to think when he told her the character he was going to become. He was nervous that she was going to see him in a completely different light after the whole ordeal. But most of all he was nervous she was going to not understand. Not know how to take this information or how to deal with it and that she would just turn away from him and not come back. Jared shook his head ridding himself of the nerves and took a deep breath, mustered enough courage as he could manage, and pressed dial.

"Hello." Her voice was gravely as if she'd just woken up.

"Hey, sorry did I wake you?" Jared unconsciously bit his.

"Yeah, but it's fine. I was just napping." He smiled softly at just the sound of her voice. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I was just wondering if you were free tonight?"

"You have a job for me?" Emily sounded more awake now.

"Well unless you consider dinner with me a job, I guess so.." Jared thought he was being funny and charismatic, but the dead air he could hear on the line told him his attempts had not been received.

"Are you asking me on a date again?"

"Not if you don't want to go on one."

"Well..." Emily paused on the other end of the line and every second that she took to deliberate her answer felt like an hour to Jared and he felt each thud of his heart against his ribs as waiting for her reply was making his pulse race. "What if I do want to go on a date?" Jared breathed a silent sigh of relief.

"Then we can go wherever you want to go." Another pause arose leaving Jared on edge waiting for her reply.

"What if I wanted to have this date, at your place?" Jared rose his eyebrows at her statement and he couldn't keep the cheeky smirk of his face.

"You want to come here? Instead of an expensive restaurant or something?"

"If that's okay with you. I'm not really up for being around people tonight." Jared felt his heart warm at what she'd just said. He felt privileged that even though she didn't really feel like being around people she was still game for seeing him. He felt special and he felt wanted, two feelings he hadn't experienced in what felt like years to him and it made him smile to feel that way again.

"But you'd be up for being around me?" His voice got soft, almost timid as he asked her.

"Always." Jared grinned to himself like a fool.

"Come over as soon as you can and I'll start cooking then." He heard her giggle softly like a schoolgirl. "Any preferences for dinner?"

"Oh I don't know, surprise me." He could hear the smile in her voice and he chuckled.

"Okay, don't get your hopes up too high. I'm not exactly an experienced chef."

"Jared I'm pretty sure I'll love whatever you make, don't worry."

"But still, I'm not promising anything."

"Don't worry!" She laughed. "I'm gonna go and get ready. I'll be round soon, okay?" Jared didn't want her to hang up. He wanted to drag the conversation on for longer even if they ended up talking about complete shit or not even talking at all, he just wanted to be able to hear the voice he was slowly becoming fixated on.

"Okay. I'll see you soon." The line clicked and just like that she was gone and it dawned on Jared that the next time he would hear her voice would be when she was in the same room as him, expecting a meal prepared and the house drenched in rose petals and candlelight, the perfect date night scenery. But there Jared sat with his hair wild like a lion's mane, still cosy in his pyjamas and his house in such a mess that he didn't even want to fathom where to being tidying.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

She hadn't paid this much attention before. She'd explored over half the rooms in the lab, she knew her way around well enough but she'd never actually stopped and looked at her surroundings. She held the glass of wine delicately in her hand and her brown eyes drifted over the white walls covered in messages, drawings, lyrics, quotes and a whole abundance of different treasures that people had scratched onto the plaster surface. She noticed lines that she'd heard Jared singing and it made her grin as she realised that she was pretty much viewing Jared's notepad, the place he stored his thoughts and ideas and she breathed a giggle as she ran her fingertips over the lines of a drawing he'd done that he would use the walls around him as paper. She knew he surrounded himself with creativity daily, but she didn't think that it was literal.

She could hear the faint music coming from the kitchen where she'd left him, cooking stir fry noodles in a wok, to use the bathroom. She also heard the clatter of pots and pans and the hum of his voice reverberating against them and she slowly made her way into the tiny space he called a kitchen. She peeked around the door frame to find him stood at the stove mixing the noodles and vegetables together, mouthing along to the words playing from his iPod speakers. She also noticed the large splat of orange liquid on the linoleum floor. She stepped inside laughing, crossed her arms around over her chest and removing one slender finger from around her wine glass she pointed at the mess on the floor. Jared looked at her over his shoulder and followed where she was pointing.

"I dropped a spoon." Jared stated quietly, his face like a puppy dog. Emily couldn't help but laugh and shake her head.

"So clumsy." Emily leant over Jared and reached for the wash cloth from the sink beside him. As she moved over him he could smell her perfume and her long dark curls brush against the skin of his arms and he wanted nothing more than to grab fistfuls of it and plunge his face into her neck. He watched her bend down and begin to clean the mess he'd created on the ground and he couldn't help but think how good she would look on her knees. He almost said it out loud, told her she looked good down there, but he licked his lips quickly and tried to ignore her completely until his libido settled down.

Emily casually sipped her wine, thankful that she'd decided to bring a bottle as she knew a few glasses would give her some liquid confidence she knew she'd need. She could feel his eyes on her and the heat flowed to her cheeks, she put the edge of her glass to her lips and poured the liquid down her throat in hopes that the more she consumed the faster she'd not feel his intense stare. But she felt something else instead of his eyes on her skin. She felt his hand caress her hip and she closed her eyes unintentionally at the feel of him touching her and when she sensed him lingering in front of her, she slowly opened her eyes to see him stood in front of her body, trapping hers between the kitchen counter she was leaning on and his own figure. His eyes bled with lust and she felt her chest tighten as she'd never seen him like this before. It was as if it only took a split second for him to become this wild animal looking down at her with dominant eyes like he was about to ravage her. Emily stared back, not wanting to be the first to back down, challenging him to do something.

"You should wear dresses more often." Jared spoke in a low voice and she felt his hands squeeze her hips. She was wearing the Stevie Nicks dress she'd bought a few days ago and her ego exploded at his compliment. "You look beautiful." Jared moved his face, lowering himself until his lips gently touched the top of her exposed shoulder. She remained so still, closing her eyes and indulging in the feeling as she felt that if she moved the feeling would disappear, she felt as though she was imagining him in front of her.

Jared pulled his lips away to look at her face. She was biting her bottom lip but her mouth still pulled upwards in a grin and her brown eyes glittered like diamonds and he wanted nothing more than to stay in that moment for as long as he could.

"What?" Jared asked smiling back at her and laughing at her cheeky face.

"Nothing I just..." Emily's cheeks turned a rosy shade of pink and Jared couldn't help but tighten his arms around her hugging her against his body. "You leave me kind of speechless sometimes." She looked back at him and her eyes did that thing that they did. He'd experienced it once before, when they first met. Her eyes connected with his blue ones and he felt the blood rush through his veins as his breathing grew deeper and his groin ached for her.

"I bet I can leave you breathless too." Jared breathed. The room around the two of them became fuzzy and Emily swallowed as her mouth became dry. She felt Jared press himself against her front slightly and she quickly downed the rest of her wine. Before she had time to put her glass down, Jared had taken it away himself, pulling it from her grasp and linking his arms around her waist once again. Emily ran her hands up Jared's chest and over his neck, her intentions were to lose her fingers in his hair but she was meet with a small bun at the base of his neck. She narrowed her eyes at him and he grinned as Emily began to untwist the band from his hair letting his hair fall free. Once she'd completed her mission she ran her fingers up, tangling them into his locks, tugging slightly, causing a soft grunt to escape from between Jared lips. Emily leaned herself into him so every inch of her body was pressed against his and Jared could feel every curve of her against his chest. She placed her lips to his ear and Jared instinctively turned his head into her.

"I think it's dinner time Jared." He felt her smirking against his ear and he breathed a laughed against her skin. He shook his head against hers as she pulled her lips away and looked at his face. Jared's smug smirk was plastered across his mouth and Emily could see that he was surprised with her controlling of the situation. She knew he liked to be in control, she knew he liked to be dominant. But she liked it to at times. Sure, Emily got off by begin told to get on her knees and by being spanked till morning light but she had it in her to be the boss sometimes, and Jared couldn't help but be pleasantly surprised as he'd only then learnt that Emily was going to be more of a minx than he'd originally thought.

"Fucking tease." Jared breathed against Emily's lips as his hands travelled down to her ass, giving it a quick squeeze. She giggled and pushed herself out from behind him and moved over to the fridge on the opposite side of the kitchen, looking for any traces of more liquor. Jared watched her movements and thought it necessary to give her bent over position some attention as he quickly slapped her backside before returning to tend to their dinner.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

The sun had disappeared from the sky and the blanket of thick navy blue was littered with twinkling stars. For that time of the year, the evening was pleasantly mild with not one hint of a chill in the air at all. They sat outside, opposite each other on a small wooden table that was placed on the patio of Jared's yard. Two empty plates were in front of them as well as two empty bottles of wine and a half empty bottle of whiskey. For the entirety of their meal, Jared was working up the nerve to tell her. Tell her about where he was going for the next month. Tell her what he'd be doing. He thought about just blurting it out, just coming out with it like ripping of a plaster. He thought about asking her what she thought about movies that involved transgendered people. He thought about so many different approaches he felt like he'd almost forgotten simply speaking at all.

"Jared?"

Jared's attention was brought back to her face and he'd only just realised then that he had completely zoned out.

"Sorry, I just went somewhere else for a second." Jared looked down at his plate and pushed a few left over noodles around with his fork. He saw Emily sit up in her chair and lean her elbows on the edge of the table in his peripherals.

"Jared." He felt her foot then gently nudge his calf under the wooden table and he raised his eyes to look at her face. "What's the matter?" Jared smiled. Loving the way she said the word matter in that beautiful accent she possessed. He licked his lips and took a deep breathe and placed the fork down on his plate and braced himself to get it over with.

"I need to tell you something." Emily didn't move. Didn't even blink. Just waited for him to continue. "And I don't know how you're going to take it."

"Well tell me and then you'll know." She replied in a quiet and gentle voice. The kind he imagined she would use if she was to tell a bedtime story to a small child.

"I've got a part in a movie." He watched as her eyes got big with excitement and a mega watt smile took her face. "But it's not really a part that I would be able to play very easily."

"You're not doing a porno or anything are you?" Jared laughed at her statement and sat himself up in his chair and rested his elbows on the table also, mirroring her position.

"No, I'm not doing porn." Jared looked down at his hands and started to absentmindedly pick his fingernails. Emily nudged his leg once more under the table as she could see him slipping back into his own little world.

"Jared. Just say it." Her eyes turned a warm shade of brown and the light from the fire pit behind him reflecting in her aura's and he felt that warm fuzzy feeling tingle through him from his feet to his head.

"I've been given this part to play a transgender woman. It's for this movie called Dallas Buyers Club and it's about these people who are dying from AIDS who buy into this club where they get provided with unregulated drugs that they believe will keep them alive. I'm playing this transgendered woman who is like the sidekick to the main character and, it's a once in a lifetime role. To play someone like that. But it will mean I'll have to change. I'll have to lose weight, I'll have to wax my entire body, and I'll have to spend the next month in pantyhose, high heels and a dress." Emily didn't move the entire time he spoke, she just listened and let every word he said sink in. Jared reached forward and touched the side of Emily's arm running his fingertips over the soft skin. He noticed the goose bumps there. "So what do you think?" Jared asked timidly.

"Why does it matter what I think?" Emily knitted her eyebrows together and Jared was a little taken back.

"Because you matter to me." He spoke without thinking and he didn't realise the substantiality of his words until they were out in the open. Emily didn't respond to them though. Just let them ones sink in also. He saw her eyes turn glassy and wondered if he'd fucked it up now, saying that she mattered, even though Jared had felt that way for longer than he would of liked to admit and he was just waiting for the perfect time to say it, but now he'd blabbed it out anyway before he'd planned too.

"You should do it if you want to." Emily finally spoke and Jared released a breathe he didn't even know he was holding in. "I mean. I'm not saying it's going to be an easy job. Losing weight and waxing yourself, that's a pretty big commitment for a role. But I'm sure you'll be able to do it. And besides, you've been there for me pretty much since the first day I met you. So if you need me for anything throughout this whole thing, you know I'll be there right?" Jared nodded at her and a heart warming smile took her face and her hair cascaded around her shoulders in big springy curls and her skin glowed orange in the bright light of the flames from the fire pit and that was another moment where Jared could of sworn he had fallen in love with her.

"Thanks Em." He then reached for her hand and laced their fingers together. "I really appreciate you being here." Emily gently rubbed her thumb up and down Jared's index finger as he squeezed her palm against his.

"Well I'll be here for as long as you want me to be." Emily smiled sweetly at him and Jared almost dove across the table to kiss her then. He'd had enough of pussy footing around the action, it was well overdue in his eyes and he needed her. The feeling was so foreign to him. He was so used to lusting after woman. Just wanting their bodies and nothing more, but with Emily. He wanted to kiss her. Claim his stake on her. He wanted her all too himself and he wanted to tell people that. Show her off to others to make them all jealous that this beautiful girl, was his. He was about to make the move when Emily's sudden movements faltered him. She brought her glass of whiskey to her lips and threw it back down her throat. She licked her lips and looked at him with heavy, intoxicated eyelids and rose from her seat.

"Where are you going?" Jared asked as she started to walking over to the pool. He held on to her hand until he felt the strain of her arm pulling away and as he gingerly let go he watched her stand at the edge the pool and retrieve a carton of cigarettes from inside her bra. She sparked the white stick and inhaled for a long while, just staring into the blue of the water below her. Jared didn't hesitate to stalk up behind her, stepping behind her as quietly as he could. Emily didn't hear him coming, she didn't even know he was stood behind her until he reached forward and grabbed her around the waist. Emily jumped instantly, inhaling a gasp and spinning round as she was still completely dazed, staring into the pool, extremely drunk and in awe at Jared admitting she mattered to him. However, she didn't expect him to sneak up behind her and grabbed her.

Jared didn't think she'd jump like that when he touched her. He almost thought she expected him to go to her, did she not know yet that he couldn't hold himself back when it came to her? What he didn't think would happen though, was for Emily to spin around so quickly that she'd lose her footing and fall into the pool behind her. Jared's eyes widen and he quickly bent down to his knees to rescue her from the probably freezing cold water before she surfaced.

Emily spluttered to the surface, pushing her hair back from her face and coughing slightly. She glanced over at Jared who's entire upper body was hovering above the water as he had stretched himself out to try and save her. She looked at his face and clocked the panic and shock in his eyes. But she just laughed.

The sound was like music to him and it instantly made him relax. She wasn't choking, she wasn't drowning. She was laughing. Jared watched as she floated around in the water, her thick black hair drifting behind her much like the black lace of her dress. She licked her lips and looked up at him threw her eyelashes and he'd not seen that expression on her face before, but he knew what it meant, she was up to no good.

"Do you want me to pull you out?" Jared asked as he leant his head down to see her full face so she wasn't peering up at him under her eyelids. She sunk a bit further into the water so her mouth was half above and below the surface and shook her head no. She slowly floated towards him, lifting her head higher the closer she got to him. Jared instinctively lowered his as he moved down to her level, thinking that in a few moments he'd finally be feeling her lips on top of his. But Emily had other ideas. She moved her hands up, grabbing Jared by the scruff of his collar and he smirked and she knew why. But the mischievous side of her didn't let him have his way just yet as she pulled down on his collar causing Jared to tumble into the cold water beside her.

The first thing Jared noticed was the temperature of the water and how it felt like a million tiny knives all being stabbed into him, the second thing he noticed was how guilty he felt for initially making Emily fall in water that cold but the third thing he felt was undeniable urge to get his own back on her. As he emerged from the water, Emily was the first thing he noticed, as well as the cheeky smirk written all over her face. He shot her a look of pure evil and glided to her until her back was pressed against the tiled edge of the pool and his hands were grasping the edge beside her head.

"You're going to pay for that." Jared's voice was dark and low and Emily thought she was going to melt into the water surrounding her.

"Oh am I?" She countered and Jared nodded. "How are you going to make me pay then, boss?" Emily whispered the last word and Jared had had enough of tip toeing around the matter.

He leaned in without a thought in his mind and pressed his mouth to hers. Her lips were soft and wet from being submerged in the pool and she tasted like chlorine. He didn't feel her reciprocating the kiss for a moment, just him kissing her. But soon enough he felt her wrap her arms around the back of his neck and push her lips into his. He grunt softly and proceeded to push past her lips with his tongue and when he was meet with hers willingly challenging him with her own he smiled into their kiss.

It felt like an hour had passed before Jared pulled back for air. He was breathing heavy and his eyes bored into her face like that if he blinked she'd disappear. But Emily felt somewhat small under his gaze. She remained there pressed against the side of his pool, clinging on to his neck for dear life and not being able to decipher what was happening. For the past few months she'd been non stop flirting with her boss. And now it had all come to a head. The deed was done and she didn't know if it was either going to go one way or the other. It could either one way where Jared got funny with her, telling he he'd made a mistake and that he'd have to fire her due to the fact he'd made out in his pool with her or it could go the other way where he'd want to continue to make out with her and everything would be perfect.

"Don't worry." Jared said. Almost as if he could hear the worry in Emily's mind. "I meant what I said." Jared leaned forward. "You matter to me." There noses touched softly. "More than you realise, babe." Jared whispered against her lips as he placed a gentle kiss there.

Emily couldn't muster any words that would describe or comprehend what her emotions were doing at that moment, so she just nodded and kissed Jared once more.


	9. NINE

Emily knew she looked like complete shit, but she didn't care in the slightest. She was wearing a pair of Jared's grey track pants that she'd stolen from him after letting her borrow them one night and a oversized New York Giants jersey she knew belonged to Bennie. Her hair was piled atop her head in a messy bun and her face was blotchy and her nose was bright red. Emily had a disgusting cold and she felt like shit, hence why she didn't care if she looked like it. She couldn't breathe out of her nose even though it kept running like a leaking faucet, her throat was sore as if she'd swallowed razor blades and her joints and limbs ached making her feel like an eighty year old woman.

She'd done absolutely nothing in the past 2 weeks, other than feel like shit. Jared had gone to New Orleans to start shooting for Dallas Buyers Club. He'd left a few days after there little fumble in the pool and he'd told her that they were shooting this film in quick succession so he'd only been gone for a few months at the maximum. But that didn't stop Emily from moping about after he'd gone. In the few days leading up to Jared's departure, the same few days after there kiss Emily expected them to be awkward and unusual. But they weren't. Nothing changed really. Jared didn't stop sneaking his arms around her waist when they were working, Emily didn't stop grabbing Jared's hand in hers whenever he was standing close by, they didn't stop snuggling against each other as they walked to their secret spot on the hills. They acted in the same needy and loving way towards each other as they had before they kissed, the only change being that now they found themselves sneaking off to make out much more, acting as if they were teenagers again.

As Jared had been elsewhere in the country for the past 14 days, the only means they had of speaking was over the phone or just to text each other. Emily was always the one to text Jared, maybe a picture of something funny she'd seen that day she wanted him to find funny too, or a silly question or theory she'd heard just to spark a conversation with him, but Jared, he would always call Emily. He'd been calling her without fail every evening around 11 o' clock. They'd speak about their days and inform each other what was going on around them until Jared picked up the sleep in Emily's voice and let her get to bed. Emily couldn't help but feel like they were kind of an old married couple, considering that they could have a conversation for at least a couple of hours about barely anything at all, and Emily quite liked that about their relationship.

From the hunched up position Emily found herself in as she lay on her sofa feeling sorry for herself she noticed her phone vibrating against the floorboards beside her. She peered down at the tiny screen and saw Jared's name flashing upon it. She then glanced at the clock and noticed that he was calling a few hours earlier than he usually did in the evenings. But never the less she reached her aching arm towards the phone and answered his call without a second thought.

"Hey." Emily answered and her voice was muffled and nasally due to her horrific cold.

"Still sick then?" Jared voice was clear and upbeat and it made her smile just hearing the sound of him.

"You can tell that bad?" She heard him laugh slightly.

"Yeah, but you sound better than you did last week."

"I don't feel any better." Jared could of sworn he heard her lip pout through the receiver.

"Well I might have something for you that will make you feel better." Emily knitted her eyebrows as she heard his statement and clocked on to his sultry voice.

"If you're trying to initiate phone sex babe, I'm really not up for that." She heard him laugh down the phone and she felt her stomach quiver slightly as the sound of his laugh was becoming her favourite noise.

"No phone sex tonight honey." Jared was still chuckling.

"So what do you have for me then?"

"I sent you something." Jared paused, he could hear Emily sniffling quietly and he couldn't hold back the mischievous grin that spread across his face. He had to put a hand over his mouth to control his glee.

"You did? What did you send me?!" A subtle knock against the door caused Emily's glance to quickly fall upon it and she loudly sighed and rubbed a hand against her forehead. "Hold on J, someone's at the door." She groaned slightly as she stood and shuffled towards the old wooden door with her phone still pressed to her ear. She unlocked the chain in a fuss as she really didn't want to talk to anyone else that evening other than Jared and pulled the door open in a flurry.

She felt the air freeze in her lungs as she didn't really know how to react. She thought maybe she was tripping, a weird side effect of all the cough medicine she'd drank. Maybe she was just missing him more than she thought she was. But when she saw that smile and heard that faint chuckle she knew all too well, she knew for definite that Jared was stood in front of her. Emily gasped quickly, letting the breathe move through her lungs again and she opened her mouth to say something but nothing came out.

"Surprise." Jared opened his arms to her and Emily didn't need another second before she'd lurched herself forward, throwing her arms around his neck and holding him so close she could of sworn she felt his heart beating against her chest.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

He felt her eyes on his face, her gaze burning his clean shaven and bare features. They'd been sat quietly for some time, the television on in the background with the volume down low, her legs draped over his lap and his hands softly caressing the smooth skin of her legs he'd exposed after pushing the legs of her grey track pants up. He was feeling content and peaceful, a feeling that he openly welcomed after the past weeks he'd spent filming. It had taken him a little time to step back into his own shoes after walking in Rayon's 24 hours a day, but he felt like a normal person sat there beside her. He smiled to himself in that moment, feeling like he'd come home from a normal 9 to 5 job, not a Hollywood movie set. He slowly leant his head back against the back of the coach and slowly turned to look at Emily. Her eyes were exactly where he thought they were, locked on to his face.

"You okay?" His voice was quite and his touch was gentle against her skin. Emily didn't move much, only nodded her head somewhat and smiled a tight lipped sincere smile. Jared blinked a few times, etching the way she looked into his memories. Her hair, fashioned into a bun was a thick and manic ball, her cute button nose was glowing red and her delicious eyes were bloodshot. He smiled at her face too, breathing deeply, feeling his heart rate dim, relaxing for the first time in a while. Emily suddenly shuffled next to him, sitting herself upright. She reached forward slowly and ran her fingertips over Jared's jaw line. She'd never seen him without facial hair, and she felt as though she was looking at a different man.

"So weird." She breathed, not speaking to Jared. Her eyes were all over his skin. Taking in the lack of hair and how it gave her the chance to study his real features that laid underneath the layers of fuzz he once acquired.

"Thanks." Jared teased, laughing softly. She chuckled too, her eyes falling upon his own and her fingers lingered on his chin.

"I don't mean it like that. It's just weird seeing your face like this. I've never seen your chin before." She laughed at her last sentence and Jared's face glowed bright with amusement. " That's weird isn't it. That this if the first time I'm seeing your chin." They laughed together for a while until Emily's hand moved up to cup his cheek, she felt the slight prickle against her palm and was surprised at how fast his facial hair grew back. Jared quickly moved his face into her hand, placing a soft kiss against her palm and the smile on Emily's face grew as well as the swell of ever growing love in her heart.

"This is the first time you're seeing me without eyebrows too." Jared opened his eyes widely and it took Emily a moment to realise that if he did in fact have eyebrows they'd be raised, she scrunched up her nose and furrowed her brow at the oddness of Jared raising his non existent eyebrows and she licked her lips quickly.

"Yeah, I don't think you should make a habit of waxing them off." She then pulled her hand from the side of his face and ran a fingertip against the bare skin where his thick eyebrows should be. She pulled the same face once again, scrunched nose and tensed brows at the odd feeling of prickly skin where she should be feeling soft hair.

"So weird!" She repeated laughing aloud. Emily pulled her fingers away from his skin linked her fingers together, placing her hands in her lap. Jared shiftily quickly so his body was facing hers, she remained draped over him, his hands still stroking her silky skin. She sunk her side against the back of the sofa, leaning her head on the coach to match the man in front of her. There eyes level with each other. "I missed you." Emily spoke in a confident voice and Jared felt his breathing falter.

Jared moved. He fidgeted slightly, moving Emily's legs around but never lifting them of his lap. He leant his upper body forward until he was laying on the coach with her legs still covering him but now with his head in Emily's own lap. She didn't hesitate, as soon as his head was nestled between her legs she ran her fingers through his shaggy hair, twirling it around her fingers and she felt him take a deep breath against her skin and she looked down at him and saw that'd he'd closed his tired eyes.

"I missed you." Jared spoke softly as he nuzzled his face against the fabric of his own grey track pants that now smelled of her. Her fingers never stopped against his scalp and he felt himself slowly drifting into a deep sleep, the last thing he heard before he surrendered to unconsciousness was Emily's voice, telling him that she was proud of him.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Jared had forgotten what the day entailed. When he walked through the door of his home he expected to be met with a calm atmosphere and his friends and colleagues working away on their projects, but he walked through the door to find people lugging wires and lights from room to room, people yelling commands and orders. Everyone seemed to be so busy they didn't even noticed Jared walking through the door. He'd completely forgotten that there was a VyRt today, and he wasn't in the mood for it in the slightest. He'd just gotten home from Emily's apartment after spending the night tucked up next to her in bed, holding her close and nuzzling his face into her hair and he'd gotten the best sleep he'd had in years. It had taken a lot of will power that morning for him to leave her bed. He protested for as long as physically possible, clinging onto the woman by his side and wriggling deeper into the sheets. He knew though it was futile, he had to go back to The Lab, people were expecting him back and he knew there would be some work there for him to complete. As he left Emily behind in her apartment, he kissed her lips and then her temple, telling her to stay inside and rest and try and get rid of her cold and that he'd be back later that evening.

He was hoping he could just sneak in unnoticed and play it off like he'd been home a lot longer than he had, but he should of known better. Emma came stampeding into the hall to catch him still adorning his coat and shoes, his fake big rimmed glasses covering his eyes and a backpack slung over his shoulder. She stopped in her tracks and dragged her eyes up and down him as Jared froze, refraining from even blinking. When she surveyed the entirety of his body and settled on his gaunt face, he couldn't read her features, he couldn't tell what was going though her head. It was until she just moved along, continuing on her rampage through his home that he knew for a fact she was pissed at him. He'd accepted at that point that he'll never understand what Emma's problem with Emily was. Everyone else in the team seemed to get along with her. Everyone else didn't mind having a casual conversation with her and everyone else believed that she was a worthwhile addition to the group. Emma was the only one with an opinion of her. An opinion Jared couldn't begin to fathom. He'd all but given up hope with trying to bring Emma round to the new woman in his life. Lord knows he'd tried. Emily even tried too, asking her questions about work or complimenting her on a item of clothing she'd be wearing, but Emma just gave her the cold shoulder, so Jared insisted Emily just stop trying to be friends with his assistant as it hurt him to see Emily trying to be nice, only to me met with spitefulness is return.

Jared threw his backpack down in the hall and kicked his boots off. He looked all the way through into the kitchen at the clock hung above the stove. He had at least 2 hours before he'd have to VyRt. 2 hours was enough time to sit and relax and let the people who's wages he paid do all the hard work for him. He sauntered into the studio to find Shannon, Jamie and Tomo all in the soundproof pod, nodding there heads to whatever beat was playing through the speakers. He smiled at the sight of his friends and let himself in. In unison the three boys all glanced up at him as he walked into the small concrete room and in unison the same smirk invaded the three boys faces.

"Don't" Jared grinned holding up a hand, trying to hold back the onslaught he was about to receive, even though he knew it was inevitable.

"Well, well, well!" Shannon was the first to start. "What time do you call this Squirt?!"

"What do you mean?" Jared took a seat on the only unoccupied computer chair, resting his ankle against his knee.

"Your flight from New Orleans got in at 9pm last night..."

"Your point?"

"It's 3 in the afternoon."

The boys all bored into Jared's quickly smirking face and Shannon burst out in his loud obnoxious laugh, finding great amusement in the situation.

"I was at Emily's." Jared declared somewhat smugly, his smirk still apparent as he swivelled slightly on his chair.

"Yeah no shit." Shannon chuckled.

"How is Emily?" Tomo asked.

"She's fine. Apart from having a nasty cold, she's okay."

"She's sick?!" Jamie asked sounding completely flabbergasted.

"Yeah. Why do you sound so shocked?!"

"I just..." Jamie trailed off. "I mean, you're like the biggest germophobe going. And you spent the night with a girl who's sick." Jamie raised his eyebrows and Shannon's face lit up with glee.

Jared remained silent. The substantiality of Jamie's point hitting him like a ton of bricks. He was right. He was a huge germophobe. Shit, he didn't ever like shaking hands with people in fear of getting sick yet there he was making out and spooning a girl all night who was suffering from a cold from hell. Jared swallowed, trying to think of some witty reply to shut the boys up, but Shannon asked him something point blank that made his stomach drop and his palms sweaty.

"Have you fallen for her?"

Three sets of eyes bored into Jared's face and he felt his pulse rush as he panicked. He didn't know what to say, not really. He didn't know if he had fallen for Emily himself. All he knew was that she consumed 95% of all thoughts in his mind and that he felt lonely when she wasn't close to him. He felt the emptiness when she wasn't there. He felt the inner longing, the pining inside for her, to be close to her. Jared licked his lips and formulated his answer carefully. If he answered no, then he would be lying somewhat. But if he answered yes, then he'd be lying also. He was in the middle. Slowly falling for her with each time he saw her face. And he was okay with that. He'd gotten so used to things always being fast paced; Touring, making music, charity events, publicity events. Jared was always on the move and always doing something and he couldn't help but feel that whenever he was with Emily things slowed down slightly. The world became clearer and peaceful and he was able to breathe finally. For a long time Jared had been secretly desiring something. He wanted nothing more than to wake up every morning in the same bed, in the same house, on the same street next to the same woman. And he had this bizarre feeling festering away in his gut that he could achieve that desire with Emily. Jared licked and lips and darted his gaze around the room, not settling on anyone's face for too long, and answered.

"So what if I have?"

"Jesus Jared." Shannon rose from his seat. "You're in deeper than you realise buddy." He clapped Jared on the shoulder as he exited the studio leaving a speechless Jared behind. "Not that it's a bad thing, it's just different. For you." His voice got quieter and quieter as Shannon continued to speak as he ventured deeper into the lab.

"Don't worry Jared." Tomo soothed. "Emily's an awesome girl. She's sweet, she's funny and she's a bad ass photographer. There are definitely worse girls out there that you can catch a cold from." Jared smiled at his band mate and appreciated his words. He was about to tell him how thankful he was that Tomo voiced his opinion when he heard a slight scoff from the entrance of the pod. He shot his head to see who was the culprit to find Emma poking her head through the door.

"We need you upstairs guys." Emma announced before closing the door behind her. Jared narrowed his eyes at the space she just occupied and wished he'd said something to her, said something to shut her up and put her in her place or asked what exactly her problem was that she couldn't even hear others talking about Emily without feeling the need to scoff.

"And don't worry about Emma," Tomo spoke once more, standing from his seat and passing Jared, leaving the small concrete room. "No one else understands why she's acting like this either."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The streets were quiet and asleep and the cold chill in the air bite into Emily, chilling her to the bone. She didn't really know what to expect as she stood at the front door to Jared's home in the early hours of the morning. All she knew was he'd called her, waking her up from her sleep, declaring that he needed to see her. He needed her to come to his home. She was unsure as to why, what had happened for him to need her company so bad but she wasn't about to question it and have him revoke his offer of having her over. She noticed how manic he sounded over the phone. His voice was shaky and he was taking heavy and unnerved breaths and it made Emily bite her lip with concern. She'd never heard him like that before and it made her panic. He'd been home from shooting Dallas Buyers Club for a few days and had seemed perfectly happy getting back into the swing of things at the lab. It was like he'd never left. But she still jumped out of her bed and threw on and old Miami Dolphins sweatshirt before he'd even finished asking her to come over, the tone of his voice enough to spring Emily into action. In the cab ride to his home Emily couldn't help but relate how she was feeling to Jared, she wondered if this was how he felt when she had called him that one night, asking if he would come and get her from that horrific party Benny invited her too. Still standing on his doorstep, she sent him a brief text messages announcing that she was outside. Waiting for him to answer she wrapped her arms around herself and shook her knees, trying to keep the feeling in her legs. The door opened quickly to reveal a very skinny, very troubled looking Jared wearing as many layers as Emily. He smiled at her and held a hand out for her to grasp onto. Once her hand was in his he gently pulled her inside his home and locked the door behind her.

Emily studied his face. His eyes were big and glassy and his shoulders were tense. She could pretty much see the stress and anxiety overflowing from his being and she licked her lips and breathed steadily as she tried to digest that she'd have to look after someone for once instead of being the one who was being looked after.

"Thanks for coming, I know it's late. I just needed someone." Jared spoke softly. His voice not as exasperated as it was over the phone as he glanced down at the floor. Emily swallowed and stepped closer to him. She reached forward and gingerly touched his biceps. He looked up at her and his face looked broken. He looked exhausted.

"What's wrong Jared?" Emily asked in her softest tone and slowly rubbed her palms against his arms. Jared breathed, exhaling through his nose. In that moment he leant his entire body forward. His head falling against Emily's shoulder and she instinctively wrapped her arms around his upper body. He slowly held her around the waist, grabbing and clinging to her jumper. She felt his shoulder vibrate and the choppy breaths against her skin and she knew he was sobbing. She panicked slightly. She didn't know how to deal with a crying Jared. Fuck, she didn't know to deal with anyone crying. She was so used to being the one people had to coddle and nurture she had no clue where to begin when someone else was in that state. She felt so awful for Jared. She'd built up this image of him in her head because that's the only thing she knew him as, Emily saw Jared as her knight in shining armour to come and whisk her away from danger and keep her safe from the darkness she once dwelled in but with him crying on her shoulder, she understood then that maybe he was just as fragile as she was.

Emily wove her fingers through his tousled hair and placed the softest of kisses to the side of his head. She waited, soothing him like an infant until his shoulders began to shake less to lead him out of the hall and sit him down on the big U shaped sofa. She made him a quick glass of water and rushed back to his side. Jared was upright now, leaning back against the coach with a hand covering his tired face. Emily lowered herself next to him. Her body facing his and her legs crossed beneath her. She reached for Jared's hand, the one masking his features and removed it, gently cradling it in her lap between her palms. Jared looked at Emily with red and teary eyes and her heart plummeted at the sight of her knight looking so sad.

"Jared." Emily whispered softly, squeezing his hand in hers. "Talk to me."

"It's just this role." His voice was wobbly and his lip quivered as he spoke. "It's just... I didn't expect it to be like this."

"What's wrong with playing Rayon?"

"Nothing. She's an amazing character to play. It's just physically... I don't know, I think I've bitten of more than I can chew."

"You're doing well so far."

Jared scoffed at Emily's comment. "I'm not doing well honey." With his hand that wasn't between Emily's he rubbed his tired eyes.

"Yeah you are. I'm so proud of you Jay." Emily pushed his other hand out of his eyes so he'd focus on her. "You are so brave to do this role, and you're doing so well. Please don't be down heartened."

"I can't help it babe." Jared leaned his head back against the coach and pulled his hand out of Emily's grasped and wrapped it around her waist, pulling her towards him. She shuffled slightly closer, leaning into his side.

"Why? What are you finding difficult." Jared closed his eyes and tucked his hand under the hem of Emily's sweatshirt, his palm connecting with the bar skin of her waist. Emily reached forward and tilted his head so his face was facing hers. He opened his eyes to see her beautiful brown ones. "Tell me Jay."

"It's just so intense." His breathing slowed to it's normal rhythm. "I knew it was going to be hard. Losing weight and all that, but I'd done that before so I didn't think anything of it. Losing weight isn't the hard part though..." Jared trailed off.

"Then what is?"

"I'm finding it difficult." Jared swallowed, trying to keep the sobs at bay. "I'm finding it difficult to separate myself from the character." Emily wriggled closer to him, coaxing him on and Jared began to gently trace circles against the skin of her waist. "When I'm on set, I'm Rayon. For the whole day whether I'd be shooting or not shooting I'm her. I'm in character. And coming back home for this break, it's hard to like, come back down. Even though I'm home, surrounded by everyone I don't feel like me, I still feel like her. I look in the mirror and I just see Rayon. Do you see what I'm trying to say?" Emily nodded and placed her palm against he chest.

"Yeah. You spend 24 hours a day for 2 months away from your family and friends, as a completely different person. Coming home is bound to be weird considering you've been in someone else's shoes for a while." Jared breathed deeply as a weak smile engulfed his lips.

"Exactly. I don't know. I'm just having a few re-entry problems is all."

"Is that why you asked me to come over?"

"I asked you to come over because I didn't want to be alone." Jared's eyes never left hers and they both felt the air thicken between them. "I want you close to me."

"I'm close to you now."

"You're not close enough."

The gaze between them was heavy, like a battle between a lion and a tiger. Both hesitating and both anticipating. Emily felt Jared's hand on her waist so much more now with the thick haze of lust and desire that had swarmed them both and her breathing began to quicken. Jared could tell this, he saw it in the way her chest rose faster and could see the excitement in her eyes. He had to fight his instincts to keep his hand still against her waist and not grab and throw her like he wanted to so badly. He could feel the temperature rise and as it did his desire to have his way with her only increased.

Before Emily's mind had caught up with itself Jared had pulled her forward with the hand on her waist so her upper body was pressed tightly against his. He locked both arms around her keeping her captive against him as her fingers sunk into his hair. Their mouths collided in a fury and they wasted no time in ravishing one other, fighting for dominance. Jared reached a hand upwards to grab the ends of her hair and tugged them down sharply causing Emily's head to fall backwards. As soon as her neck was exposed Jared's mouth invaded and Emily gasped at the feel of his lips against such sensitive skin. Emily was losing her inhibitions and Jared knew so as he felt her hand slowly move down his chest and unbutton the top of his jeans. He smirked against her neck as she swung a leg over his lap, straddling him, nestling him under her. She looked at him then and took in the want in his eyes and the smirk on his lips and when she heard a dirty laugh fall from his mouth she pushed her mouth towards his once more, pressing her whole body against his as she did so. Jared wasted no time in grabbing at the hem of her sweatshirt and pulling it away from her body and he groaned audibly at what he found underneath. She wasn't wearing anything underneath and he found himself in front of her bare chest and he thought to himself that she looked so much better in real life than she did in that picture he'd secretly set as his wallpaper. He leaned forward and peppered tiny kisses over her collarbones and slowly moved south until his mouth covered her nipple. Emily moaned and bit her bottom lip and closed her eyes indulging in the feeling of his lips on her. She wove her fingers back into his hair and tugged on the dark strands and she felt him groan against her at the sensation she given him.

Emily glanced down then, watching Jared press himself against her body, and a feeling of sympathy washed over her. Not a moment ago, the man against her chest was sobbing on her shoulder and now he was latched onto her. She was enjoying it, she knew that. She would of loved for it to continue, she knew that also. But she also knew that Jared was in a very strange place mentally at that time. He didn't feel like himself, and she understood why. If it was any other man, she would of just shut her brain up and let them continue. She would of fucked them and then left, getting what she needed. But this wasn't any other man, this was Jared. Did she really want their first time to be after Jared openly admitted that he was having re-entry problems? That he didn't feel like himself? She asked herself the questions and knew that she didn't want what was about to happen. Emily and Jared were on the verge of fucking each other, and she didn't want that. She wanted Jared to take her. To make love to her. She wanted him to claim her.

Emily gingerly tugged on Jared's hair enough for him to pull back and crane his neck upwards to look at her face. She smiled at him and leaned down to place a gentle kiss against his swollen lips. His arms tightened around her back, clinging onto her body. Her long curls fell around his face and the smell of her shampoo engulfed his head. When Emily pulled back she moved her fingers from his hair to his face. Their eyes locked and Emily ran her thumb over his bottom lip.

"Jay." She whispered. "Are you sure this is what you want to do right now?"

Jared blinked a few times, trying to decide for himself if now was the right time. He thought for a moment on how he felt in that moment, how he truly felt, which was weak, tired and very lost. Jared grinned up at Emily, in awe that she'd caught on to his inner feelings well enough to realise that what was about to happen between them probably would have been best avoided. He wasn't in the right place to have sex with her, he knew that himself deep down, Emily just managed to catch onto it before he did. She was so smart. Smarter than he thought she was and he shock his head in disbelief. Disbelief of how perfect the girl on top of him was proving to be.

"I'm sorry." Jared spoke softly, gazing up at Emily's face. She gave him a warm and understanding smile and rubbed her thumbs against his cheekbones and his hands ran up and down her ribcage.

"Don't be silly." Emily pecked his lips. "Nothing wrong with getting a bit carried away." Jared breathed a silent laugh.

"One day we will." Jared stated.

"One day." Emily grinned. "When you're fighting fit again." She poked his belly and he smiled at her.

Jared opened his mouth to say something without thinking it through. Three words were on the tip of his tongue. But he swallowed them quickly. He shocked himself at how easy it came to him to say those words to her. How easily that feeling had snuck up on him, but it wasn't the right time. It wasn't the moment for that declaration.

"Thank you." He breathed instead.

"What for?"

"For taking care of me."

"I'm only doing for you what you do for me." Emily kissed his nose. "We look after each other." She stated, sitting back on his jean clad thighs and Jared nodded, agreeing to their mutual pact.

"We look after each other." He repeated with a content grin graced on his lips.


	10. TEN

Jared had never cared for goodbyes. He never thought of them to be as important as they potentially are, he never got emotional or felt a slight lump in his throat when he said fair well to whoever. He'd never really experienced a tough goodbye, not even when he left his mother when he was younger to study in New York. But stood in front of Emily's little frame, bundled up in a thick and woolly jumper, he found it almost physically impossible to get on the plane. Looking down into her eyes had his feet rigid to the floor. Jared clasped to every second he was in Emily's vicinity as he knew it was inevitable that he had to go soon.

"I'll call you when I land." Jared was close enough to Emily that he encapsulated her senses, his hands grasped her waist and his head hung low so much so that his mouth was inches from her ear. She would miss him whilst he was away, she knew that much. But she was also quite pleased with the space she'd gain. She didn't know what was going on between herself and Jared. If somebody asked what their relationship was, she would be lost for words. She needed the space, the time, to analyze a little. Decipher potential give aways and patterns to give her some heads up on what was going to become of the two of them. Up until then, sending Jared off at the airport, she hadn't really thought too deeply about what was occurring between them. She succumb to the motions and just went with whatever happened, but now she'd reached the biting point. She needed a clear idea in her head, an obvious outcome. Jared was becoming a significant fixture in her life as the days went by, and as they did, so did the need to establish their relationship.

Emily smiled graciously up at his clean shaven face and she saw the subtle flicker of his forehead, his eyes squinted and he peered into her deep brown aura's questioningly.

"Are you all right?" Jared reached forward, grasping onto the woman in front of him by the elbows. "You look like you've got a lot on your mind." She felt his thumbs gently caress the fabric of her jumper and she had to glance down at her feet to hid the fact he knew her too well, could tell something was wrong without her mentioning a word. Still, she lied through her teeth.

"I'm fine, I promise." Jared knew something was bothering her, he could see it in the way she shuffled around and the way her eyes were darting all over his features. He licked his lips and took a small step towards her, his chest inches from hers now, his thumbs never ceasing their stroke. He wanted to know what was going on in her head, he wanted her to open up to him, to let him in. But he couldn't just force the walls down. He had to wait for her to knock them down herself.

"Are you sure sweetie?" Jared's voice was sweet and caring and it made Emily's heart rate flutter, which was a feeling she was trying to avoid until she'd figured out what exactly Jared meant to her. She chuckled softly at his attempts and pressed her palms flat against his chest.

"Yes! I'm fine Jared. Absolutely and completely fine." Jared's eyes never let up from her face, his eyes still bled with concern. If Emily wasn't careful and he continued to hunt for the hidden troubles in her mind, he'd discover her unsettlement immediately. "Now go and get on your plane before you miss it." She nudged him slightly, trying to get Jared to step back and give her some space. The sooner he was sat on that plane and airborne the quicker she could begin to analyze.

"Okay." Jared glanced down at his feet and took a step backwards away from Emily. He was about to swivel around and walk away, head of to the gate that was being called for boarding, but he couldn't physically allow himself to just walk away from her like that. Jared remained in front of Emily as he reached forward, delicately placing his palm against the side of her cheek. She smiled under his touch and he felt the internal dread pull his soul down at the idea of having to leave her behind.

"I'm going to miss you." Jared's voice was sincere and warming and Emily knew he wasn't just saying that. She knew his words were true. And she knew she felt the same. She smiled at him, pulling her bottom lip in between her teeth and her eyes glittered in awe that she had such an incredible human being in her vicinity. She asked herself how she managed to get so lucky to know him, let alone be in an estranged relationship with him.

"I'm going to miss you too." She replied and Jared didn't wait. Clasping both her cheeks in between his hands he leant forward, pressing his soft lips against hers and kissed her with enough passion and care that it had Emily's rationality reeling. As he pulled away, his lips detached from hers, but his face remained as close as it was before. He opened his eyes and smirked at her face, still upturned and eyes closed with desire.

"If you need me..." Jared whispered and Emily's eyes fluttered open. "If you need me for anything. Anytime. Please, babe." Jared pushed a hand behind her ear, losing his fingers in her thick hair. "Please call me, okay?"

"I promise." Emily nodded, leaning her chest into his and wrapping her arms around his middle. She tucked her face into the crook of his neck and he nuzzled his face into her hair. They stood there for a while breathing each other in, absorbing as much of each other as possible before they had to depart. Neither wanted to let go, both could of stayed that way for days. The final call rang out through the airport for Jared's flight and Emily was the first to pull away. She could see the disapproval in his face when she did remove herself from his arms, but it had to be done. She gave him a quick shove, causing him to step back a few inches, and told him to get lost. He chuckled at her, knowing she was joking. He noticed that she did that sometimes, used humour to cover her true feelings. He noticed that instead of standing there in front of him, showing how weak and how vulnerable she could truly be, instead of breaking down and begging him to stay, she remained composed and strong, painting on a smile and breathing a chuckle, keeping her head high. He admired her so much for that quality alone.

As he walked away, getting swallowed by the throngs of travellers escaping to all corners of the globe, Emily stood alone in the bustle of people with a lot on her mind, as Jared so keenly picked up on. She inhaled deeply, filling her lungs with fresh new air as it began to dawn on her that by the time she'd see Jared's face again, she'd understand a little more, what exactly the two of them were doing.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The shrill sound of her ringer rattled Emily from her exhausted sleep. She'd dozed of unwillingly after her brain just couldn't take anymore. She'd forced herself awake going over every detail of her and Jared's relationship. Examining every touch, looking for connotations in every word. She'd been at it for hours, so long she wasn't quite sure what the time actually was. After stripping down every aspect of their relationship since the moment they met, the only realisation Emily landed on was the fact that she relied on Jared for more than she probably should. He was the first one she told anything too, the first person she'd confide in. Jared was the first thought in her mind in the morning and the last at night. Everything she did was centred around him. And Jared wasn't any better, he'd out right told her she mattered to him, and let his guard down enough to cry in front of her.

She answered the phone without looking at who was calling, just expecting it to be Jared. When she'd placed the receiver to her ear she was met with sounds she didn't expect to hear. Loud music and people talking flowed into her brain and she wondered what Jared was doing.

"Emily baby! Long time no speak!"

When she heard the familiar Italian twang she inwardly groaned to herself. He was the last person she wanted to speak to. It had been a long time since she'd heard from Benny, the last time she did it was to drag her to that crack house party. Thinking a little harder, she hadn't even spoken to him to buy drugs, she hadn't spent money on narcotics for a long time.

"Benny, hi." She replied in a monotone voice, not caring to speak to him at all.

"What you up to doll?" Benny's voice was muffled and Emily found it hard to make out anything he was saying and she didn't know if it was because of the music in the background drowning out his voice or the possibility that however many drugs he'd consumed was making him slur his words.

"Nothing, just sleeping." Benny's obnoxious and high pitched laugh rattled through the device.

"Sleeping?! Why the fuck are you asleep?!"

"Because it's 3 in the morning, and it's a Tuesday." She didn't hide the aggravation in her tone. She didn't need Benny in her life anymore, like she'd always said, he provided a service, and she didn't depend on that service frequently like she did a few months back. She only kept Benny around because he always had drugs, and Emily was his number one customer.

"So fucking what. Party time is all the time." She heard a loud sniff after his statement and she rolled her eyes at the fact she knew he had definitely just huffed a line of something whilst on the phone to her. "Come down here."

"No Benny." She replied instantaneously. She had so many times before been dragged out of her apartment to get loaded in some damp run down building and she wasn't going to put herself there again. When she used to go, clamber her way out into the streets at such ungodly hours to meet Benny in areas that made her skin crawl, she hated the fact she was there, even with a head full of narcotics, she hated where she was, and she hated herself for going there. So now, with her mind being clear of the fog that drugs create, she wasn't going to meet Benny this time.

"Stop being a bitch and come. I haven't seen you in so fucking long, I miss ya baby. It seems like years since we got fucked up together. Why don't you wanna come down? You'd rather stay home and sleep?! Fuck that, put your party pants on and come snort some coke with me!"

The truth of it was, Emily didn't want to go to some squat with Benny. She didn't want to snort cocaine with him. She didn't feel the desire to do that anymore. She used to drugs to forget, to numb herself. To cope with the unbearable depression she was suffering within. To feel something other than shame and regret. But that was then. When she didn't have anything to live for. But things were different, she had someone worth sticking around for. Someone who cared about her, even if it was in a way she didn't yet understand, she knew he cared. He'd told her multiple times. Emily mattered to Jared. And that was enough.

"Benny. I'm not into that shit anymore. I don't want to snort anything with you. I'm not coming down to whatever shit hole you've nested yourself in and I'm certainly not buying drugs of you anymore. I don't need them now. Please don't call me again."

Before Emily had the chance to listen to his argument, she hung the phone up. Looking down at the black device in her palm she felt the uncertainty settle around her like a black cloud. She knew Benny well. She knew he had a temper, especially when he'd taken something. She remembered back to the time Benny meet Jared and how Benny nearly punched him for nothing. And Jared was a stranger to Benny. The worry was inevitable, kicking in like anesthetic, and she couldn't help regret hanging up on him as she knew he would not be too happy with her sudden dismal.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

For the second time that evening, Emily was brought out of sleep unwillingly. But this time it wasn't the ring of a phone bringing her out of unconsciousness, it was a ferocious banging at her door. She sat up in her bed rather quickly, the panic finding her easily. With a glance to the clock on her phone it was around 5 in the morning, and someone was banging on her door. She stared through her open bedroom door at the front door that was being assaulted, hoping that if she stared at it it'd stop, or she'd realise she was just dreaming the sound. But as it continued for a few minutes longer she knew it was reality.

The noise only got louder. Forcing Emily out of bed to inspect the culprit. She trod carefully towards the door thinking if she remained quiet she'd remain safe. She thought of all the possible people it could be, banging on her door at 5 in the morning, but her mind was too scared to think clearly. The closer she got to the noise the faster her pulse ran and the heavier her breathing became. She looked through the peep hole before unlocking the door, in fear that some manic druggy was on the other side, and Emily knew better than to deal with them types. She peered through the glass and found a familiar face. She was relieved at first as it wasn't some crack head beating against her door, but then she was annoyed as he was the last person she wanted to deal with. Emily put the chain on the door, and opened it letting the flickering yellow light of the hallway filter into her apartment.

"Benny, what are you doing here? It's 5 in the morning." Emily's voice was rough with sleep still and Benny looked awful. Messed up clothes, eyes heavy and red, fists tight with pressure. He had one hand supporting his weight against the door frame the other bringing a cigarette to his lips. "Benny you can't smoke out here, you're going to get me in trouble again." Emily ran a hand through her hair and sighed, Benny was too much of a reminder of what her life used to be like, and she didn't want to remember.

"Well let me in then." His voice was heavy and she could hear that he was teetering on anger and exhaustion. She remember that he'd been taking cocaine, and knew that his temper always flourished with that drug. In fear that she'd have to deal with the scene he'd create if she left him in the hall. Emily opened her door slowly too him. Hoping she could defuse his anger and have him gone in under 30 minutes. But Benny strode in and plonked himself on the sofa.

"Benny, you can't stay here. Do you want me to call you cab?" Emily spoke from the corner of the room, not bothering to follow him. She wanted him gone, but she knew if she downright asked him to leave he'd hit the roof.

"No." She couldn't pick up any emotion in his voice. Which worried her.

"Well what do you want to do Benny?" Emily swallowed, trying to keep the panic at bay as she felt completely helpless in her own apartment.

"I want to know why," Benny took a box of matches out of his pocket and relit his cigarette. "why you decided to hang up on me earlier." Benny's eyes fixed on Emily's face and she wanted nothing more than to melt into the floor.

"Benny-"

"No." Benny rose to his feet quickly. His shoulder broad and his hands still clenched into fists. "Shut the fuck up." He took a step towards Emily and she involuntarily stepped backwards away from him. "I thought we were friends. Good friends. And you hung up on me."

"Benny, we are friends-"

"Friends don't hang up on each other you dumb bitch!" Benny's voice rose and he took a long stride towards her and Emily felt the tears sting her eyes and her hands begin to shake slightly. Benny was too close now, merely inches from her face and Emily fought her hardest to not break in front of him. She looked towards the floor, to terrified to look him in the eyes, when she heard a sick chuckle coming from him.

"So you're not into 'this shit' anymore? Don't want to buy from me anymore? Why baby? I thought what we had was special?" Benny closed the space then, grabbing Emily around the waist. She felt the pressure against her skin from his grip and she tried to wriggle away from him, only resulting in him clutching on tighter, genuinely hurting her. Benny leant down, placing his lips close against Emily's ear and she turned her head the opposite direction, trying to get as far away from his as possible. She drew her shoulders up to her neck, trying to keep him locked away from her. "Don't you want me anymore baby?" Benny pushed his body against hers and Emily couldn't hold back the whimper of fear that rattled through her. Emily shook her head no to his question. Her eyes never leaving the floorboards. "Wrong answer." Benny spat into her ear.

He grabbed her then, squeezed tight around her bicep, enough pressure for Emily to cry out in sudden pain. He moved, heading towards the bedroom, trying to drag Emily along after him. But her feet remained stuck to the floor. She tried, pushed his chest and dug her nails into his flesh, preying he'd let go and just leave. She fought, begging that this whole ordeal was just a bad dream. She was no match however, her tiny frame against his. She was week and he was strong. He grabbed her then, put his hand around her throat. The look in his eyes was pure evil and Emily couldn't stop the tears from slipping over then. Her breathing was exasperated and she couldn't help but wish that Jared would burst through the door and save her. But he wouldn't, he was miles away. And Emily was alone and defenceless.

"Don't make me fucking hurt you, bitch." Benny's fingers clasped her neck tighter as he moved, stepping backwards. He moved Emily like a puppet, beginning to drag her towards the bedroom by her neck. But Emily didn't stop her resistance. She wriggled and pulled away, not letting him take her anywhere. She was putting up a good fight, Benny struggling to move her across the threshold. She could tell it only made him angrier, the fact she was fighting against him, but what else was she going to do? Let him rape her? Emily pushed his torso away and pulled her body away from his, trying to just get him off her, but Benny's temper had peeked. She didn't stand a chance.

Benny released her, letting go of her windpipe and stood in front of her. His body a brick wall of drugs and anger and in that moment she was terrified of him. He moved quickly, grabbing her around the arms and his force was strong, throwing her across the other side of the room. Emily didn't expect to be slung like a rag doll across the room, so naturally fell as she stumbled, she felt something then. A sharp pain against her temple. Before she had time to touch the wound and see what had happened, everything around her went black.


	11. ELEVEN

"I don't know man, I just found her like that."

That was the first thing Emily heard when she opened her eyes. She was still completely disorientated, her head was pounding as if it'd been beaten against a brick wall and she could feel her heartbeat in the side of her face. She could feel that her skin was swollen as she found it hard opening her eye to its full capacity. She didn't need to examine herself in a mirror to know she'd sustained some brutal injuries.

She felt dazed not only from regaining consciousness but also because she didn't recognise her surroundings. The room she was in was pitch black, the only source of light was a slither that filtered in under the door and the early morning rays of sun that peeked into room now and then from behind the thick curtains. She noticed that she was laying in a bed. A double bed. The sheets were soft and fresh like they'd just been washed. It wasn't her bed she was in because the mattress felt different. It was lighter, so much so that she almost felt like she was slowing sinking into it. The panic in her ignited like a flame, she felt so vulnerable and scared, coming back into reality to not remember how she'd been taken out of it and to not have a clue where she'd ended up. She quickly sat bolt upright in the bed, trying to get a different view of the room from another angle when she heard the faint voice from behind the door that woke her.

"Oh, I think she's awake. I heard the sheets move." Emily listened carefully, trying to pin point the persons voice. "No! Speak to her later, give her minute to full wake up man. She's probably scared shirtless right now." She strained her ears trying so hard to recognise the tone, but all she could her was her pulse in her head. "Look, don't worry. I'm here and I'm handling it. I'll call when she's back to normal, okay? Right, I'll call you in a minute Squirt."

The door slowly crept open, the light pouring into the room and directly into Emily's face. She felt the full scrutiny of the person who'd just entered. Them getting a full and well lit view of her bruised and swollen face. Her eyes were glassy with tears and her bottom lip was trembling. She looked like a child who was about to burst into tears, and that's exactly how she felt.

"Oh honey." The voice spoke in a soft and gentile voice. Emily watched as the person stepped into the room and took slow, almost delicate steps towards her. She watched as the shadow of the figure sat down beside her on the mattress and leant forward, flicking on a bedside table lamp she didn't know was there. The lamp wiped the darkness away, revealing her location, and she couldn't help but gasp in disbelief, confusion and relief as she knew exactly where she was. She'd been in that bed one time before. She knew the person say next to her also. She couldn't stay strong any longer after discovering where she was, her emotions were just too fragile and her facade crumbled. The tears flowed freely and her sobs were out of her control and it was then that Shannon shuffled forward on the bed and held her against him in his strong arms.

"You're okay. You're okay. You're safe."

* * * * * * * * * * *

He sat patiently with his arm around her shoulders, propped up next to her on the pillows of Jared's bed and let her cry for what felt like hours. He didn't push it, over smother her or pressure her into telling him what actually happened to her, he just sat there by her side waiting for the sobs to subside.

As she cried Shannon took in Emily's features. He'd never really looked at her before, like really looked at her face. Her skin was creamy and looked soft to the touch, her eyes were brown like autumn leaves and her hair was lush and extravagant. Even as she cried he couldn't help but understand why his brother was so attached to this girl, he would be too if he'd spotted her first. He also could tell that behind it all, Emily was as vulnerable as they come and he wondered if that was another reason Jared was so fond of this girl.

"Sorry." Emily sniffed quietly, wiping her nose with the back of her hand. Shannon squeezed her slightly, making her aware he was there for her.

"Hey, it's fine. Don't apologise." Shannon moved his hand in between her shoulder blades and began to gently stroke her back.

"Well, thank you then, I guess." Emily's voice was all nasally and muffled from crying for so long. Shannon couldn't help feel so immensely sorry for her. Shannon gave her a warming smile that Emily returned with a watery one. "Why am I here Shannon?"

Shannon took a deep breath as Emily swivelled around to face him properly, her composure back and intact and she was ready to talk.

"Because I brought you here." He gave her a pointed look, a little confused by her broad question.

"How did you find me?" She rephrased and Shannon took a deep breath.

"Well. I just stopped by your apartment to pick up them memory cards. Remember I had to get them to give to Emma so we could put your pictures of VyRt up on our Facebook? Anyway, I stopped by at around 7 to get them. I tried to call you to let you know I was on my way but your phone just rang and rang. So when I eventually got to your apartment..." Shannon trailed off as he glanced down at his lap. Emily had been listening intently as he replenished the 4 hours of her life she'd lost.

"Yeah?" Emily asked, urging him to continue.

"When I got to your apartment, the front door was wide open. As I walked down the hall I could see you laying on the floor inside and I hadn't even gotten to your door. When I went inside I found you unconscious." Shannon paused to read her face. He wanted to gage whether to continue, if she could handle it. Her eyes didn't waver and he licked his lips before he decided to continue. "At first I was going to call an ambulance because your head had been bleeding after you fell. But then I thought that that would be worse so instead I brought you here to look after you." Shannon bored into Emily's face, waiting for her so say something. He had told her all he knew and he hoped that that would be enough.

"Why didn't you take me to the hospital?" Emily's eyebrows knitted together as she asked. Shannon swallowed, not wanting to tell her the real reason he decided to avoid authority when it came to Emily. He wasn't supposed to know about her. He was sworn to secrecy by his little brother, told not to tell anyone that he knew about Emily's dark past and illegal habits but Shannon had a feeling that Emily might have caught on slightly to the fact he knew about her old addictions, so he tried his best to make her think otherwise.

"I thought you'd be more comfortable here."

Emily sighed as her shoulders slumped. She was physically and mentally exhausted. Her mind reeled as it tried to process what had happened to her. She remembered who caused her injuries. She remembered who'd been knocking on her door at 5 in the morning and she remembered who had her by the throat. Just thinking about it sent shivers down her spin.

"Emily..." Shannon's timid voice brought her out of her head and brought her attention onto his concerned face. "What happened?" She was the one now to glance down at her lap. She didn't want to tell him, she didn't think it any of his business. She wanted Jared. She wanted him to hold her and kiss her face and hair and tell her that everything was going to be fine now because he was going to take care of her. However, even with how much she wanted his comfort then, she was still scared shitless of him finding out what actually happened, knowing she'd be overwhelmed with shame and embarrassment.

"It was nothing." Emily's voice came as a whisper. She hoped Shannon would accept her answer.

"Emily." Shannon's voice was stern causing her to drag her gaze up to his face. "I know we don't really know each other that well, but like it or not you're part of this family. Through work and through Jared. Please tell me so I can help."

"You make it sound like we're married or something." Shannon chuckled at Emily's statement.

"No, but he cares about you." Shannon watched her eyes soften. "He really, truly cares about you."

"I know." Emily's voice was small and airy and Shannon could see the adoration the girl beside him had for his brother. "And I care about him. But what happened to me has nothing to do with him or you." Shannon knitted his brows, a little offended at her statement. "I'm not trying to be rude, honestly I'm not but it involved people that you guys don't know, and that you'll never know. I don't want Jared to know what happened, it'll just cause more trouble than it's worth. He doesn't need to know Shannon."

"I promise not to tell him." Emily rolled her eyes slightly and gave him a look to say 'yeah right'.

"Come on Shannon, I know you'd tell him. I can't tell you without it going back to him. It doesn't matter anyway, it happened and that's that. Jared is still filming, he will be for a few more weeks. He doesn't need to find out." Emily pleaded further and further urging Shannon to keep last night from Jared. She was terrified of him knowing that she was beaten up by Benny. She was terrified that he would find out and end up coming to the conclusion that she was no good, like she had told him she was. She was terrified that if he knew what had happened to her, he'd leave her. She was keeping this a secret from him for as long as she could.

Shannon listened to Emily fret about Jared knowing and he couldn't stop the lump from rising in his throat. Not only had Shannon told Jared that he'd found her unconscious and her apartment door wide open but he found her with multiple deep purple bruises over her arms and a gash in her head. And she was telling him now she doesn't want Jared to know. Shannon felt like he'd well and truly put his foot in it and all he could muster was a nod of his head as he grasped Emily's shaky hand in his. A weak and guilty smile took his face as he squeezed her fingers comfortingly.

"Okay fine. I understand if you wanna just forget about it. We'll leave it in the past okay?" Emily nodded and gave Shannon a thankful smile. "You should get some sleep." Shannon suggested and Emily laughed.

"I've been unconscious for 4 hours Shannon the last thing I need is sleep." Emily let go of his hand and stretched her arms above her head. "What I need is a cigarette." She announced causing Shannon to chuckle this time.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Sat biting his nails with festering nerves, Shannon didn't know what to do. The morning had fully arrived, the house was bright as the morning sun painted the surfaces inside and the team slowly filtered through the house. One by one; Jamie, Stephanie, Chloe, they all showed up ready to work were as Shannon felt like he'd been working a full 12 hours. His body was exhausted from the nights events. His thoughts went to Emily and how he'd left her sitting on the balcony of Jared's room with a cigarette in between her fingers, bathed in the orange light that peeked over the Hollywood Hills. Nobody knew she was there apart from him, he wanted to keep it that way. His phone bleeped suddenly bringing him out of his daze. A single sentence sent from Jared had him sighing with worry.

"Dude I can't take this anymore. What the fuck is going on?!"

Shannon rubbed a hand over his face, knowing that he would inevitably have to talk to Jared and tell him that he never managed to find out why he found Emily in the state she was in. Jared had badgered and badgered his brother to find out what happened to Emily, see if she was all right since he was miles away from where he wanted to be. By her side. And Shannon hadn't found out a thing. Suddenly his phone was ringing beside him and it seemed as though his brother couldn't wait to find out.

"Hey Squirt." Shannon's tired voice answered.

"Is she okay?" Jared's voice was manic, the complete opposite to Shannon's.

"Yeah. Yeah she's fine dude."

"What's she been doing? You made sure she rested right?"

"Yeah man, she's been awake for a few hours. I told her to rest but she wanted a cigarette instead." He hears Jared's faint breath of relief that she sounded relatively back to normal.

"So what happened?!" Jared pleaded and Shannon blinked hard, trying to come up with an explanation as to why he didn't know anything. He couldn't tell his little brother that she refused to tell him who hurt her because she didn't want him to know. He didn't want to cause that problem.

"I don't know Squirt. She didn't tell me." Shannon held his breathe.

"What the fuck do you mean she didn't tell you?!"

"She didn't tell-"

"Shannon!" Jared cried, the aggravation and worry adamant in his voice. "Why didn't you get it out of her?! How am I supposed to stay here when all I can think about is what happened to her?"

"Jared-"

"I can't get the image out of my head. I need to be there. I can't believe this has happened, how can I stay here when she's all by herself covered in fucking bruises and shit. I can't believe this is happening, I just.."

Shannon sat so still listening to his little brother rant on and on and he felt his heart go out to him. He could hear the panic and despair in his voice and Shannon almost felt guilty that he was in L.A with Emily and he wasn't. Jared's voice trailed off over the phone and Shannon held his breath.

"I've got to go Shan. I'll see you soon okay."

"Wait, what? See you soon? You're filming for another 3 weeks at least." Shannon's eyes widened at what he heard Jared say.

"Yeah, I know. I'll see you soon."

And with that, the phone went dead. And Shannon was lost for words. He didn't know what had just happened, he didn't speak to Jared as much as he wanted to due to his brother's rambling, not giving him to chance to try and defuse his worry. Shannon was the one to be panicked now, not knowing what was about to explode between them. He wished he'd just gotten it out of Emily, it would of put Jared mind a rest and it may of even helped Emily accept and move past it by speaking about it. He knew for sure though, that getting the truth out of her would of saved a whole lot of drama that Shannon had a feeling was about to erupt around them all.


	12. TWELVE

"Squirt, you need to chill out."

"How the fuck can I do that?! I asked you to do one thing, one simple fucking thing while I was shooting and you couldn't do it. You didn't do it. And now look what's happened!"

"Look I tried my best Jar-"

"Well you didn't fucking try hard enough!"

Emily could hear him before she could see him and the dread settled over her instantly. The last thing she was expecting to wake to was the sound of his voice, and as she listened to him spouting angry comments and raising his voice more than necessary her stomach dropped with panic. So many questions bounced around her mind. What was he doing home? Why was he yelling? Did he find out about her and Benny? Who the fuck told him? She had no choice but to sit upright in his bed, falling back to sleep was a chance long gone now as she discovered Jared had come home early. She considered her next move. Should she fly downstairs and hug him hello? Tell him she missed him? Wait patiently up in his bed for him to inevitable storm in? She placed her feet on the carpet of his room, about to stand and slowly sneak downstairs, but the raging argument between the two brothers had halted her.

"I couldn't watch her 24/7 Jared. You should fucking trust her enough by now that you wouldn't even need to tell me to look out for her while you were gone. She's a grown ass woman who's been through enough. Don't you fucking trust her at all Jared for the amount you tell us that you love her?"

That four letter word was mentioned and Emily's whole body reacted, her back straightening and her eyes widening. She wasn't sure if she'd heard correctly, but with the silence that feel between the siblings downstairs it told her that she knew she'd hadn't imagined the word being said.

"I do trust her. I trust her implacably. It's the assholes she knows that I don't trust. And I'm right not too, since it was an asshole from her past that did this too her." Jared's voice grew quieter and Emily bit her lip as she could of sworn she heard his gorgeous tone break. She closed her eyes, trying to keep the impending sobs at bay. Begging herself not to fall apart, not when he was only a floor below her. She wanted to hid. Barricade herself away from everyone as the shame, the embarrassment, the hopelessness she felt coursed through her body like venom. It made her lungs feel as though they were concaving and her body as though it was crumbling into itself. She tried so hard to be strong, for him, she tried. That was the main reason she didn't even want Jared to know. She wanted it to be treated as though it didn't happen, not to her. The evidence would heal, the remnants would fade. By the time he was meant to be scheduled home, there'd be no proof of Emily's encounter with Benny. And she wanted that to be the case, he none the wiser and Emily clinging to the fact she managed to pull herself through such an ordeal, without the help from anyone, she wanted to prove it to everyone as well as herself that she could manage, that she wasn't weak.

She knew she had to confront him. Too many questions were forming in her mind to leave them unanswered. She rose gently from the mattress, running a hand through her hair as she did when she heard heavy and sudden footfalls against the stairs. Her head spun quickly towards the direction of the door, her eyes blurring slightly at the fast movement of her head and the fact her senses were still suffering slightly from the blows she'd taken.

"Jared! Leave her , she's sleeping!" Shannon called out.

"Fuck that! I need to see her. Where is she?!" Jared's voice was more prominent now and Emily could tell he was on the same level she was. He'd climbed the stairs and was throwing open doors, she could hear the wood colliding against the walls as he swung each door open as if he was on a rampage. Honestly, she was terrified. He was closing in, she knew this. The bangs and crashes of doors being kicked open was growing louder as it drew closer. This was it, he was going to see her, and he would then hate her. She didn't want this to happen. The urge to hid crept back up her spine. She glanced quickly around the room, trying to find an escape, and it came when she noticed the en suite bathroom connected to Jared's room. She made a dash, like lightening she bolted towards the small room hoping she'd lock herself in there before he came crashing in, but she was a few seconds too slow.

His bedroom door hit the wall and it felt like a gunshot to Emily's heart. She froze. Rigid to the floor. Her gaze locked on the white carpet beneath her toes and her head hanging with shame. She knew he was there, she could feel him, but she didn't dare turn. She was so petrified for him to see her in the state she was, but what else could she do. She was caught mid escape and now she had nowhere to run. The only thing she could bring herself to do was shut her eyes tight and prey that this was some fucked up nightmare she was having.

"Emily." He called her name like he couldn't believe he could see her. It clung to his breath as he said it aloud and she could hear the worry and despair behind the three syllables. She didn't move. The terror too prominent. She couldn't face him. She couldn't let him see her like this. She couldn't lose him this way. "Emily, baby." She heard him once more, this time the crack in his voice apparent. She couldn't see if he was crying or not but from his voice it sounded as if he were. She felt her heart break in two from the insufferable pain she'd unintentionally caused them both. "Look at me, please." His plea only drug her soul further into depression as she couldn't do it. Shaking her head no, her gaze still on the ground. She heard the laboured sigh leave him and she heard the slow and soft footsteps he took towards her. The closer he got the more her shoulders tensed, the deeper the sick feeling in her stomach grew. She felt two delicate hands caress her biceps so softly. She could feel his warm breath on her neck and the smell of him enveloped her, she'd missed it, the smell of his aftershave. She didn't even know how comforting she found that smell until then, just one essence of it and she didn't want to hid from him. She wanted to turn to look into them blue eyes she'd missed so terribly and let him hold her together in his arms as the world fell to pieces around her.

Slowly, she turned. Keeping her eyes downcast until her chest was pressed against his. She stood there in front of him, her beaten and battered face lowered from his view, gaining courage piece by piece to finally meet his stare. She raised her eyes, looking up at his flawless face, and her breath was taken away. He was like an angel to her. So immaculate and pristine, so willing to protect. She couldn't keep the tears from building up in front of her beaten brown eyes.

He took in the black eye, the swelling at her temple, the cuts on her cheeks and chin. Jared's lip quivered. His forehead trembled. She could see the moisture teetering on the edge of his eyes, due to spill at any second. She'd made him cry. She felt disgusted at herself.

"Jesus." Jared's voice came as a broken sob and Emily watched as a few droplets trickled down his cheeks. She didn't have the time to feel the guilt obliterate her as his arms encased her against his body. One hand wove into her thick hair and the other soothed her back. She let go then. All the emotion she was trying so hard to fight, all the sadness she was trying to stamp out. She let it go. Crying uncontrollably into the fabric of Jared's shirt as he held her so tightly in his arms, sobbing along with her.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

They were sat together, side by side. Perched on the edge of Jared's unmade bed that Emily had hibernated in for the past few days. He was hunched over, his elbows resting on his knees and his head between his palms. He hadn't spoken to Emily for a while, just remained next to her in silence with his head hung low, occasionally rubbing his temples. However Emily was falling apart beside him. With her sweaty hands clasped in her lap she fought the urge to be sick with nerves as she clung to the thick air around them, waiting for him to say something, anything. She wanted so badly to know what he was thinking, what was rushing through his mind. If she didn't find out she'd surely puke, she could feel it rising up her body. She licked her lips and carefully disconnected her palms, gingerly reaching out until she came in contact with Jared's jean clad thigh. He didn't move, not a muscle. Emily swallowed the sickness down and blinked back a few rogue tears.

"Jay." Emily's voice cracked as she called to him. She instantly bit her lip as she'd disturbed the silence that swirled around them. She waited patiently, praying that he'd respond. She just wanted to hear his voice, she wanted to know that he was still with her, even if he was shouting and yelling at her, she needed to know that he hadn't completely disconnected himself and his feelings for her.

Emily heard him inhale deeply, his shoulders rising and falling. He sat up a little straighter and pulled his head back up. He looked to her then, his glossy blue eyes taking in her petrified expression, and he sighed once more. He couldn't see past the damage, he couldn't ignore the bruises. He was trying so hard to be strong for her, to protect her like he knew he should. But seeing her so physically injured, it broke his heart over and over again. He couldn't look at her face without feeling guilty. Telling himself that this would of never happened if he'd just never left her side.

"What happened to you Em?" Jared's eyes looked anywhere but her face when he asked her the question and Emily exhaled a shake breath as she tried to quickly figure out a way to dodge his question. She racked her brains for an excuse, not wanting to tell him the truth that Benny was the reason behind her current physical afflictions. She felt his hand grasp hers then, lacing his fingers in between hers, coaxing her answer forward. Emily took a deep breath and momentarily looked at Jared's features. In a flash she could see all the fear, the worry, all swimming behind his eyes.

"Nothin-" She replied the only way she knew how, she completely lied. She wasn't ready to talk about it yet, especially not to Jared, who wasn't best pleased. He shook his head back and forth and pulled his fingers from around Emily's. He sighed desperately and stood from the messy bed. Emily sat there holding her breath, as she watched Jared pace slightly in front of her.

"Why are you lying?!" She noticed his voice was exceptionally louder than before, the aggravation evident. "Look at you babe, something fucking happened and I deserve to know." He snapped around to face her, his eyes burning into her face, he towered above her and even though he was noticeably skinnier now, he broad shoulders still held solid, making her feel like a little girl in trouble under his gaze. "I deserve an explanation from you, I deserve for you too tell me. I shouldn't of had to pry it out of Shannon, you should of told me straight away!"

"Jared, I... It was nothing." Emily didn't move from her position at the end of his bed. Her head hung low, she felt like she was back at school being told off by a teacher.

"Oh don't give me that." He spat, throwing his hands up in the air. He was pissed, it was obvious, but she wasn't entirely sure where his angry was directed. "Why won't you just tell me? Do you understand how badly this kills me?! Please Em I need to know what happened to you." His eyes bored into hers that peeked up through her lashes and she couldn't form the words that he wanted to hear so badly, the embarrassment was too imminent.

"I doesn't matter anymore. It happened and that's that. I'm fine now." Emily spoke looking at the floor, not daring to watch his features as she replied. She knew he was on the verge of exploding and she didn't want to see him erupt because of her.

"What do you think is going to happen?!" Jared yelled across the room to her and his voice echoed of the walls. "Do you think you're going to tell me what happened and I'm gunna leave? Or I'm gunna tell you to fuck off? That I'm gunna not feel the same anymore? Is that why you're so scared!?" Jared was all but screaming at this point and his words rattled Emily to the core. With her head still low she began to choke back sobs as Jared was completely right, of course he was. She was terrified that when he knew the truth, he'd reconsider her, and feel differently. She couldn't risk that. To Emily, Jared was her life line and she was terrified of potentially losing it.

"Yes." Emily's voice broke, and Jared felt it in his heart. She wasn't expecting his next move. He strode across the threshold and knelt down in front of her, his face leaning up, taking in her battered and tear stained face.

"Baby, I'm not going to leave. You need to believe me, okay? I'm not going to leave

you." His voice was strained as he tried to make her believe in every word he said. "Don't you remember Em? Our pact?" He grabbed her shaky hands in his, "We look after each other." He said it with such determination and belief that Emily felt it, she felt how much he cared just by hearing them five words. "I'm begging you baby. I need to know who did this to you."

Emily watched as his magnificent blue eyes glistened with unshed tears and she swallowed the lump in her throat. She was left with no choice. She had to tell him. He'd filled her shattering spirit with hope that he would stay. She needed more of a guarantee though.

"If I tell you. Please promise you'll stay?" Jared frowned at how broken she looked, it wasn't even a question to him. Of course he'd stay, where else would he go.

"I promise." He replied, wrapping his pinky around hers in a pinky swear and bringing her hand up to his mouth, placing a gentle and heartfelt kiss there. Emily took a deep breath, bracing herself.

"It was Benny." She all but whispered.

She didn't dare look at him. The disgust at herself bubbling through her. For years Emily was ashamed of herself, of her actions. But she has never felt the harsh bitterness of embarrassment like she did in that moment under Jared's scrutiny.

"What?" His voice was cold, she couldn't hear of feel any emotion behind his words.

"It was Benny." She repeated, this time looking into his unwavering eyes.

"Why?"

"He'd called me in the night, asking if I wanted to go to some party with him. I told him no, that I wasn't into all that shit like I was. I knew he was fucked just hearing him on the phone. But I said no and I hung up." She swallowed, trying to gain some moisture in her quickly drying throat and stole a glance at Jared to see if he was still following. His stare was so instead she could feel it on her skin, he was hanging onto every word. "I fell back to sleep, and was woken up by like, crazy banging on my door. I answered and it was Benny. He was completely gone. So unbelievably fucked up. I think it was coke he'd been taking, I can't really remember-"

"And then?" Jared's voice cut in, pressing her forward.

"He was angry that I hung up on him, told him I wasn't into that shit anymore. He came over just so fucking angry." Emily's voice wobbles and Jared squeezed her hands in his, urging her to continue. "He was basically just yelling at me about how I didn't want to get fucked up with him anymore and that I'd replaced him with you-"

"So he was jealous..." Jared stated it as a fact instead of a question.

"I guess so." Emily's voiced resided.

"And then..." Jared swallowed, not really sure if he was ready to hear the details of how her face ended up the way it did.

"He... He just..." Emily swallowed harshly. "I couldn't stop him." A few tears fell from her eyelids as her head fell forward, her tears hidden from Jared's view now. "He was just so fucked and I couldn't-" She hiccupped on her words as she spoke, the cries taking control of her. She felt Jared's hands grasp her thighs, pleading with her and comforting her all in one. Emily's fractured eyes locked with his just as broken blue ones and Jared couldn't stop the tears from flooding his vision. "I tried, Jay. I tried to make him stop. But I wasn't strong enough." Emily was overcome with emotion, her body shook in front of Jared and he didn't know if he could console her, not even knowing what to make of all the information he'd just acquired.

Jared raised slowly, stretching himself to a standing position. His eyes were closed tight as he ran both hands through his hair, his fingers scratching his scalp. It was sinking in, Emily could tell, she could see from his stressed expression that he was seeing what she'd just explained in his head. She wanted to grab him, hold him close. Force his arms around her to keep her together. She glanced up at his still tensed face and went to grab his t-shirt in attempts to make him be with her, she needed his support, she needed his presence. Before she even had a chance to cling to the fabric he swiftly removed his hand from his hair and grasped her wrist gently. His shaky eyes met hers quickly.

"Don't." He whispered.

Emily blinked up at him, wondering what the fuck he meant by that. Why he told her not to touch him. She didn't move, just let his fingers clasp onto her skin and peer up at him behind watery eyes. She was an emotional wreck due to so many things; Seeing Jared after the incident with Benny, telling Jared all about it, being terrified she was going to lose him over this. She would of scoffed if she wasn't so destroyed. It was so typical, she should of seen it coming. The one thing she was scared of most, the one reason she didn't want him to know was happening before her. He was slipping away, detaching himself. Why else would he tell her not to touch him? What she feared came true, and she should of known it was going to.

"Please." Emily's broken voice croaked her plee.

Before she could muster what was happening, Jared had turned on his heel. Bounding towards the door, leaving her alone in pieces behind him. Emily quickly wiped her dampened cheeks and rose to her feet, hot on his tail. Jared may have given up on her, but she was nowhere near giving up on him.

"Jared, please, don't! I need you, please!" Emily was begging. Begging him to stay with her. She was calling out to him as he continued to march out the room and down the stairs. By the time he'd reached the bottom Emily had only just begun the descend. Half way down the stairs, two thoughts occurred to her. The first was that everyone in the house would see her wounds and the secret would officially be out and the second was Jared promised not to leave, and here he was, leaving. The anger hit Emily hard, and she was chasing her target. 

"You said you wouldn't leave! You fucker, you promised me!" Emily was screaming at this point, ignoring the gasps and the stares of her colleagues as she caught up to Jared who was fumbling to open the sliding door of the lab, letting him out into the garden. She charged up behind him and pulled back on his shoulder, he had no choice but to spin around and look at her. "You promised you would stay! Don't fucking do this to me you complete asshole!" She shoved his chest causing him to collide with door. "You're a fucking piece of shit liar!" She shoved him again resulting in Jared grasping her wrists tightly together. He stared into her eyes and she could see the panic in them. Emily let out a shaky breath and tried once more. "Please babe. You promised."

She felt him realise her, heard his broken and tear coated apology, watched as he exited into the yard and out the back gate. He'd left her. He'd broken his promise.


	13. THIRTEEN

The air was icy and bit into her fingers and toes, turning them blue and void of blood, going completely numb. Much like how she felt. Numb. However the weather wasn't to blame. Her blood ran cold in her veins, her mind absent of emotion. She couldn't feel anything. She was empty. The florescent lights of Los Angeles glowed and twinkled against the black night sky, a sight she'd seen before. It wasn't the first time she found herself sat on that boulder atop the Hollywood Hills, she used to go there every time she felt like the world had rejected her, doomed her to walk the streets a hollow soul with nothing to offer or promise. But this time, the lights didn't dazzle her, didn't remind her how beautiful the city was. She couldn't bring herself back from the ledge. She felt nothing. She felt dead inside.

What was she going to do now? What was left for her? What could possible give her a good enough reason to carry on? The answer was simple; nothing. There was nothing left for her to do with her life now that Jared had taken himself out of it.

In her left hand was a half empty bottle of vodka, her eyes were swollen and red from the constant river of tears that spilled out of them and her head was pounding as though someone had repeatedly threw her against a brick wall. Her legs were crossed and her back slouched over. She was sat upon the boulder but was standing at the edge. Peering into the inevitable black hole that we all fall into, waiting for herself to gain the courage to jump.

She didn't want to live anymore. Anything she'd ever had, anything that made her happy, was taken away. It never stayed with her. And at the age of 27, she'd pretty much decided that she couldn't continue for another year. She couldn't cope with another year of living in the dark claustrophobia of depression and having happiness ripped away from her so easily.

Raising the glass bottle in front of her she sniffed and wiped the moisture from her face with the sleeve of her jacket. She sloshed the clear liquor inside, inspecting how much she had left to down. Without caring, Emily placed the bottle of her lips and took a swig, immediately wincing as soon as the harsh liquid touch her throat. She wanted to down it. Chug it until it was empty but the first mouthful was enough to make her hesitate. She placed the bottle still a quarter full in her lap and when to tuck her shaking and numb hands in her jacket pockets.

With her fingers clenched inside the fabric of her jacket, her knuckles brushed against something. She stretched her hand open, grabbing the object only to pull it out to discover that she had a small, orange tub of what she could only make out to be tiny white pills. She shook the bottle slightly, the rattle coming from her hand told her that the container was far from empty. Her eyes scanned the orange plastic, trying to figure out what she was holding, as she absentmindedly licked her lips.

Emily's mind began to wander. Could this be it? A sign that this was her exit out? She glanced up quickly, her own dark thoughts scaring her slightly. She fixed her stare ahead of her. Taking in the glittering city in front of her that matched the glittering stars above her. Everything was aglow. Everything was ignited with life and energy. And there she sat in the deepest depths of depression she'd ever ventured through. A tear slowly slid down her pale cheek as her hold around the pills tightened. She closed her eyes, and breathed deeply.

Drawing the crisp air in through her nose, it swirled around her senses before she breathed it back out into the wilderness around her. This was it. She opened her eyes slowly, the lights of the city blurred appearing to her like bokeh as a layer of water had built up in front of her pupils. She slowly undid the bottle in her hand and emptied a few of the white tablets into her palm, her eyes never leaving the glow. Her eyes were so misty and her mind was so detached, the city didn't even look like a city. It was a light show, a spectacular bedazzlement that she could only imagine seeing in a dream. The fact she couldn't see her surroundings brought her out of her reality completely, which helped her put the pills in her mouth, and helped her put the bottle to her lips. She took one last deep breathe and closed her eyes before tilting her head back, waiting for the burn of the vodka to rush her mouth and the pills to take her body and mind over.

Instead, the bottle she held between her shivering palms was torn away. Her eyes shot open even though her vision was still impaired due to the tears that had been captive behind them. She gasped so quickly that she almost choked on the pills in her mouth. She coughed and spat them out beside her, quickly running her sleeve over her face once again before looking up. She didn't have the opportunity to take in for herself who had joined her on the hills because they'd grasped her face between their hands and forced her eyes to meet theirs.

Even in the dark of the night, the lights of the city behind him, his blue eyes still shone like they were made of nebulas. Her breath halted in her throat and she could feel the pounding in her head all over her skull. His eyes were heavy, intense. They held her stare so sharply she felt naked in front of him. She couldn't hide herself from him in that moment, she was far too vulnerable and weak and he was far too strong to let her hide away from him.

"Enough of this shit." Jared's voice was strained like he'd had to force it out of his body. She could see from the broad of his shoulders that he was angry. But she wasn't sure with what. He could still be annoyed about their argument earlier, or he could be angry that he found her just as she was about to take her life.

He stood quickly, releasing her face from his grasp and snatched the bottle of vodka from her left hand and then the bottle of pills from her right. In a flash, he threw the bottles in his hands into the darkness, Emily not being able to see where they ended up. He turned back to face her again, his features tense and his eyes wide.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Jared's voice was cold. Emily could only stutter. She still felt like she wasn't real, she felt like everything around her was a sick dream she was trapped in. "What the fuck Emily?!" His voice was louder this time. He ran a hand threw his hair quickly, bringing it round to scratch over his jaw line that was coated with slight and new stubble.

"Do you understand what you were about to do? You would of..." He trailed off, Emily's eyes were wide and watched every rapid and frantic movement he made. "You could of died. You would of left me here. I'd have to live without you. I can't believe you could be so fucking selfish." The last three words came out of him in a strangled cry. His shoulder shook and his mouth frowned. Before she even knew what she was doing, Emily was shuffling to the edge of the boulder she sat atop. She threw her arms around him. Squeezing him against her dainty frame as hard as she could. She felt his arms wrap around her, holding on just as tight as she was. His face buried against her neck, she could feel his tears against her skin and she couldn't keep hers at bay any longer.

"I love you." His voice was muffled but she heard it. Holding him tighter, she nodded her head.

"I love you!" Jared pulled back. Grasping Emily by her biceps and staring straight into her eyes. "I fucking love you! I love you so much, don't you ever pull that shit again with me," He sniffed as he pointed a finger at her, Emily quickly nodded in agreement. "I fucking love you Emily, don't fucking kill yourself! I mean... how the fuck could I go on without you, please don't fuck with me like that again. Don't you dare..." Throughout his rant, Emily had been peppering kisses against his tear soaked cheeks and tense features, but he veered of towards the end as Emily placed her lips on his.

The kiss they shared that night upon the Hollywood Hills changed everything. That was the beginning. The start. There was so much pure and honest love that fuelled their actions. Jared's arms around her, protecting her from the dark smoke that seeped closer, dragging her into a hole of drugs and depression. Her hands on his neck, keeping herself a float from the murky depths. Jared was Emily's centre of gravity. She revolved around him. Without him she was nothing. She knew that now. And so did Jared. He knew that the woman in his arms was his. Undeniably and incurably his. There was nothing that would take her away from him, he would fight anything or anyone who even contemplated the idea.

For once, in the longest time, for the both of them, they felt nothing but complete and overwhelming love for someone that it cancelled out the fear. They weren't scared of anything, because they loved each other.

"I love you too." Emily whispered against his lips as Jared drew back slightly to take a breathe. Placing his forehead gently against hers he breathed slowly and calmly into his lungs.

"Let's go home." He whispered back before placing his lips once more against Emily's and taking her hands in his.


	14. FOURTEEN

Jared was watching her from the doorway. She was sat upon the kitchen counter in one of his old torn up t-shirts and a pair of yoga pants with her legs stretched forward, her toes barely resting against the island in the middle of the room. Beside her was the oven that had a pot of something that smelt deliciously tempting bubbling away inside of it and in her lap was a copy of 50 Shades Of Grey. He smiled at the sight before him. Only two weeks in to her living in his home and she all ready appeared to be well and truly at home.

He carefully tiptoed into the room, trying his hardest to sneak up to her without her detecting he was there. As he progressed closer he could see she was actually deeply invested in the book before her face, making him chuckle under his breathe, the teenage boy inside him finding the fact his girl was reading an erotic novel very alluring.

Reaching forward, he grabbed her calf and pushed her leg up into a bent position, disconnecting her toes from the island and allowing him to step into the space between her legs. He settled himself there nicely, his hands roaming up and down her thighs as Emily stretched the leg Jared pushed past forward once more, her toes touching the island again, officially imprisoning Jared between her legs.

Jared stood there patiently, running his palms and dragging his nails up and down her spandex covered thighs, waiting for her to put the book down and pay attention to him. She was taking her time though, and Jared wasn't liking the notion that Emily was enjoying her trashy book more than having him pushed between her thighs. He couldn't take waiting for her attention any longer, so he snatched the book from between her hands and threw it to the side. Her brown eyes were wide and playful and Jared smirked at her face like a little boy who was up to no good.

"I was reading that..." Emily stated raising an eyebrow.

"Why are reading that shit?" Jared bit his lip at the glare he was receiving from her.

"Research." Emily replied in a low and silky voice, leaning her chest forward so her mouth was inches from Jared's as she reached forward and pulled at the hem of the t-shirt hanging off Jared's body. His smirk grew bigger at her actions and at her words and he removed a hand from her thigh to wrap around the front of her neck, squeezing gently.

"Is that so?" He asked receiving a nod from Emily, "You'll have to show me what've you learnt then." Jared's eyes grew dark and Emily couldn't hold back the dirty laugh she'd been swallowing down.

"Yes Sir." She replied as Jared dragged his gaze up and down her body that was still underneath his palms. However tempting the idea of Emily giving Jared a demonstration of the kinky scenes she'd just read was, that wasn't why he went in search for her.

"I have a proposition for you." He declared causing Emily to grin and slip her hand under his t-shirt, running her fingertips across his lower stomach and move slowly down to grasp him through his jeans. Jared sunk his teeth into his bottom lip and with all his might, he wrapped his fingers around her wrist and pulled her delicate hand away from him. "I'm being serious, babe."

"So am I..." Emily whispered, biting her tongue between her teeth and leaning forward, placing her lips against the side of Jared's neck, kissing, teasing him. Jared groaned deeply and Emily could feel the rumble against her chest. Jared could feel his control slipping, he was losing himself in her and he honestly wanted to talk to her about a serious matter. It'd been on Jared's mind for a while now, and after spending many hours figuring out every fine detail of his plan, he'd perfected absolutely everything, so Emily simply couldn't refuse.

"Emily. It's about your job." Jared's voice was strict as he grabbed Emily around the biceps and pushed her upper body away from his, completely disconnecting her from him. The lust had slipped from Emily's eyes as she heard him use her name like a teacher would. He actually wanted to talk about something serious.

"Oh shit. Are you firing me?"

Jared smirked and shook his head no as Emily released a breathe she didn't know she was holding in. Her eyes were wide with curiosity and anticipation at the offer Jared had pending from her and he couldn't help how adorable she looked in that moment.

"So, I've been thinking," Jared began, "we've decided to go on tour again." Jared saw a hint of panic flash though her eyes at the idea of him going away and if she tried to deny it he'd know she was lying. "And I've been thinking a lot about what crew I want to bring with me. And if you want, I think you should come along with us, as our tour photographer." He watched her smile grow bigger and brighter, lighting up the entire room. It was contagious, his grin matching hers.

"Really?" She asked with wonderment dazzling in her eyes as Jared enthusiastically nodded back at her.

"Yeah. I mean I know you like that photographer Charles Peterson, so I thought that maybe you'd like to give his style a try yourself."

Emily swung her arms around his neck and nuzzled her face against his shoulder. She was overcome with happiness and the fact Jared had even bothered to consider her for the position simply because he knew about one of her favourite photographers. It was just another reason to add to the list she had of why Jared was her saviour.

"I'll take that as a 'yes I'll come on tour with you' then?" Jared grinned placing his mouth against her head, his nose lost in her curls, breathing in deeply, smelling the fruity scent of her hair. He felt Emily nodded against his shoulder fervently and heard the bubbly sound of her laugh ring through the air. She pulled back from his body and placed a sweet and loving kiss on his lips, still giggling as her mouth was pressed against his. When she pulled away, the grin was still a permanent fixture on her face.

"There's something else you need to know..." Jared spoke softly, resting his forehead against hers.

"There's more?" Emily's eyes twinkled brighter.

"When we go on tour, we'll be touring the U.K."

Jared all but whispered to her and it didn't take split second for Emily to wrap herself around him once again and for the room to fill with the beautiful sound of her laughter making Jared's heart and soul touch the sky.

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Emily had been sat by the computer for the last hour. Her knees drew up to her chest, her chin neatly sitting atop them and a huge childlike grin spread across her features. She had been abusing Google for all it was worth, searching images of her old hometown and the places that she'd been to before, the places that she'd be once again travelling through when she left for tour with Jared. She was so excited to go home. Go back to the country she was born in after being outside of there for so long. She was so excited to plant her feet on English soil after all she's been through on the other side of the globe. But after all that, she was most excited to go there with Jared. She hoped he'd have the time, a day off maybe, for her to take him to the town she was born in. Show him a little of the place she grew up in.

Lost in the images on the screen in front of her she didn't hear anyone step into the room. She felt a delicate touch to her shoulder and she quickly spun around to see who'd approached. She felt her body warm with panic slightly as she took in the small, dainty frame and long dirty blonde hair that had been pulled back into a tidy and sensible ponytail.

"Can I talk to you?" Emma asked in a small voice, withdrawing her hand from her skin. Emily couldn't find her voice to verbally answer, so had no choice but to nod her head subtly. She was completely taken aback by Emma coming up to her and wanting to speak to her. As far as Emily knew, Emma didn't like her. She had never made the effort with her once. And that was before she moved in. She kind of figured Emma would just ignore her, now that she would be constantly under he nose. But as Emma pulled a chair over from the opposite side of the room and perched down beside her, the completely polar opposite was playing out in front of her.

"Everything okay?" Emily gingerly asked, not really knowing where to begin.

"Yes. I just..." Emma laced her fingers together glancing down towards them. "I wanted to apologize." The air around them grew thick and Emily couldn't bring herself to speak. She didn't know what to say. Emma's eyes remained fixed on her hands, not daring to connect to Emily's. "I wanted to apologize for the way I've treated you in the past few months. I just, I know I didn't give you a fair chance. I judged you straight away and didn't take the time to get to know the real you. And I'm sorry I jumped to conclusions about you."

"Why did you?" Emily spoke and Emma's gaze shot up to finally settle on her face.

"Jump to conclusion about you?" Emma questioned, Emily nodded. "I don't know. I just..." Emma took a moment to think over her words. "I'm just so protective of him, you know. I've spent so long by his side. I've seen so many girls come and go. I've been there with him through every major achievement that he's accomplished for years past. Like, I can't remember what I did before working for Jared. So I just get protective, I guess. I care about him."

Emily listened intently to every word out of Emma's mouth and the more she spoke the more confused she grew. She couldn't decipher the deeper meaning to Emma's declarations, what was she trying to honestly say?

"I understand." Emily offered, a small smile adorning her lips. "You've done a lot for him. You DO a lot for him. I understand where you're coming from Emma I do, but I'm protective of him too. I care about him as well."

"I know, and I think I'm started to accept that." Emma's eyes soften slightly and Emily knew she was getting through to her. "For years, I've almost been Jared's pretend wife, you know. I was the first person he told things too, the first one he'd choose if he had a plus one. I guess I just got so used to playing that part that I lashed out watching him."

"Watching him do what?"

"Watching him fall in love with you."

Emily's eyes darted across Emma's features, watching the unwavering of her eyes and the calmness of her brow. She couldn't stop the bubbling feeling of schoolgirl giddiness as it spread through her stomach as Emma announced that Jared was indeed falling in love with her. She kind of gathered that he was, letting her move into his home and all, but to be told it by a complete third party, brought it into reality.

It dawned upon Emily that it must have been a hard thing to do for Emma to come and seek her out to apologize. It was very noble of her and Emily respected that. Soon, the two females would be spending significant amounts of time together, whether they wanted to or not. They'd be confide to the tiny spaces and untouchable privacy that touring would bring, and Emily felt like she would inevitably need Emma at some point. If not for creative support, but for friendship. Emily hadn't had any girlfriends in a long time, and she'd missed having that female comradely. However, through all the hostility and pettiness that brewed between the two woman, Emily hoped one day she would call Emma a friend, if not a best friend.

"I don't hate you Emma."

"I don't hate you either."

"I think we could be friends.

"Me too."

And as easily as that, the past opinions that were built up between the two of them vanished, and a new page begun. One where they both stood on the same level of understanding and both held dear a deeply mutual care for one brilliant man.

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"Jared, please don't make me sit through this film!"

"Come on! It'll be fun, don't be such a pansy."

"It won't be fun. It'll scare the shit out of me, like it always does and I won't sleep all night because of it. And I'm not being a pansy! I'm just deeply disturbed by this film and I wish we could watch something else!"

"Babe, listen. If you honestly get that freaked out, we can turn it off. And don't worry about being up all night. If this movie doesn't keep you up I know something else that definitely will."

Jared plonked down beside her. Wriggling backwards, moulding his body to the sofa so he'd be completely comfortable. He felt Emily snuggle into him, tucking her knees up against his side as he threw and arm around her shoulders, holding her close. He hadn't even pressed play yet and already she was hiding her face behind the blanket she'd thrown over the top of them. He couldn't help but chuckle at her. For a girl who had been what she'd been through, seen the kinds of things she'd seen. It truly surprised him to discover that the girl who had taken hardcore drugs with hardcore people, was scared of the movie The Grudge.

"Shut the fuck up." Emily said breathlessly to Jared as she burrowed closer against his skin as the movie started, letting him know that she indeed did hear him chuckling at her expense.

"Watch your mouth, baby." Jared spoke in a deep voice, not missing a beat. The arm that was clutching round her shoulders moved up, his hand winding in her dark thick curls and he tugged gently, causing Emily's chin to rise as she glanced at him from lidded eyes. "Don't forget who the boss is."

"How could I forget." Emily's voice was low, and Jared felt her fingers tease the skin of his belly, the small hairs tangling around them as she moved. The smirk appeared instantly on his face, and he knew what she was doing immediately.

"Are you trying to distract me so we don't have to watch this movie?" He raised a eyebrow mockingly, almost provoking her. And Emily knew the games had begun. She bit her lip and giggled cheekily, her plans discovered by him far too soon. However, being caught before she'd even began didn't stop her. She ran her fingertips down the path of his soft tummy hair down to the waistband of his sweatbands and pushed her fingers inside at a torturously slow pace.

"I might be..." She trailed off. Leaning her face forwards his, placing her lips into his neck. She was barely touching his skin, knowing that the temptation drove him crazy. The having her so close yet not feeling her at all. She played on in it like mad because she craved the reaction it drew from him.

"You better be." Jared's voice had jumped an octave lower and Emily knew he was slowly falling into the palm of her hand. "Because it's working." She glanced up to find his eyes had all ready searched hers out and when brown met blue, it was as if the world melted away, and all that existed in the entire galaxy was the two of them, in that moment.

In one fluid movement, Emily swung a leg over his lap. Burying him between her thighs. Jared smirked up at her naughty expression and grabbed the blanket that sat against her hips. He pulled the fabric, fisted in his palms towards him. Giving Emily no escape but to fall against his chest. Her hands clutched around his neck as Jared moved a hand up to weave into her hair and one underneath the edge of her shirt, clawing at her flesh underneath. He moved his mouth upwards, hovering over her ear, letting his breath caress her skin softly before he spoke.

"The last time we were on this sofa, in this position, we almost had sex." Jared spoke in a voice that was so low he was almost growling. The lust evident in his tone. Emily turned her face towards him so her cheek now touched his.

"Well what are you waiting for?" Emily's tone matched his, lust for lust as she grabbed his hands in hers. Removing them from her hair and from against her skin, and lowering them so his knuckled brushed against the hem of her shirt. Jared got the hint quickly and Emily grinned at how easy that was. In one motion Emily's shirt had been lifted over her arms and above her head, quickly being thrown to the other side of the room. Jared's eyes never left her face. He watched for ever minor blink of her eyelids and twitch of her mouth. He didn't need to glance at her chest to know she wasn't wearing a bra underneath either.

With their stare still magnetized together, Emily felt his expert hands settle on her chest. His fingers and palms dancing against her skin, massaging the supple skin of her breasts. The intensity was almost too much to hand for her. He was going so slowly and being so gentle that every little touched exploded against Emily's skin making it feel so much more delicious and his eyes never left hers making that shining blue the only thing in focus to her.

Emily wasted no time in stripping him free of his shirt also, taking a moment to appreciate the physique of the man beneath her. He'd finished filming a few weeks back, so he was a bit fuller around the edges. He wasn't as big as he was before the weight loss, but he certainly wasn't as weak and as slender as he had been during. Emily leaned herself forward and placed her lips on his collarbone, sucking and kissing the taut skin and she felt Jared's breathing grow deeper, his chest rising and falling more prominently underneath her own chest. She felt him slid his hands then underneath the fabric of her cotton bedtime shorts. His palms landing on the plump skin of her ass, his fingernails digging into her soft skin as he squeezed. Emily couldn't help but moan softly at his actions, wanting more and more of him by the second.

With her lips still exploring his chest, her fingers were on an adventure of their own. Slipping her fingers inside the waistband of his sweats for the second time, she achieved what she'd set out to do in the first place. As softly as she could, she wrapped her fingers around him, and watched as his eyes darkened and his breathing quickened as she did so. She moved slowly too, making sure he felt everything, only picking up the speed when his breathing did so. Jared's fingers dug into the skin of Emily's ass even more so than before now she was stroking him underneath his sweats. It'd been a while for Jared, what with abstaining throughout the shooting of Dallas Buyers Club, so every little touch was amplified to him. Everything was so much more intense and overwhelming for him. He was content with going slowly, enjoying the simplicity and honesty of it, but when Emily made a sudden move to pull the only barrier left between the two of them of his hips he could see the urgency and excitement in her eyes. He lifted his hips, allowing her to shuffle the fabric down his thighs as Jared sat up straight, wrapping an arm tightly around Emily's body, keeping her secure in his lap, as he reached around to push the sweats completely free from his body with the other.

Trapped against his chest, Emily let Jared navigate her as he stood quickly, holding her against him, her feet and body completely off the ground and being held in his arms. He quickly laid her down on her back, settling back between her thighs. With one had he tugged her shorts and panties away in a quick motion, as the other hand swept the bouncy hair out of her face. Their eyes locked once more, and the atmosphere was thick with love and lust. Slowly, Emily placed her palms against Jared's stubbly cheeks, and craned her neck, placing a sweet and passionate kiss on Jared's parted lips. Sighs of contempt and moans of pleasure escaping the both of them.

Before she could even fathom the situation, she felt him. Inch by inch she felt him. Her eyes shot open to find his staring deeply into hers, watching for every move. His lips were parted and Emily felt the short quick breaths he was taking against her skin. She swiped her thumb across his bottom lip before moving her hand up to weave into his hair. Quickly, Jared found his rhythm and began to collide his hips against hers, causing Emily to moan and throw her head back. Her grip in his hair tightened and he moved his lips to the skin of her neck, kissing and biting the spot he knew to be most sensitive. He could hear the string of profanities falling from Emily's lips and he smirked against her skin, loving the effect he had on her. Jared felt her slim fingers then, wriggle down between their bodies to come in contact with her clit, pushing herself forward towards her release.

"That's my job." Jared growled against Emily's ear as he firmly tugged her own hand away from her body, only to place his own fingertips against the bundle of nerves. Emily bit her lip as her eyes rolled back slightly, she moaned deeply and began moving her hips in time against Jared's. She felt Jared's hand that wasn't working her into oblivion wrap around her neck, and Emily was losing grip, she was teetering on the edge and no matter how hard she tried to grasp control of her own body, Jared had completely and utterly possessed every part of it. And he knew it too.

"I'm so close." Emily's voice came out rasped and strained and Jared couldn't tell if it was because she was almost there or because his fingers remained around her throat, squeezing here and then. Jared then leant his head forward placing a starved kiss on her lips and leant his forehead against hers as he pulled away. He nodded slightly, telling the woman below him she didn't need to tell him she was close, he could feel every essence of her arousal.

Jared could feel Emily getting tighter and tighter and he knew the end was in sight. He speed up his pace and removed his hand from around her neck only to grab her under her knee, pushing it back, allowing him to explore her deeper. Emily's guttural groans had Jared panting in response, they were both so close, almost there. Emily started whispering Jared's name, almost as a warning, and Jared knew he was about to lose it.

"Louder." Jared's commanded in a deep, breathy growl causing Emily to moan loudly and grab tight to Jared's shoulders, digging her nails in and throwing her head back.

"Jared!" She screamed into the empty room as her body peeked. She clung onto Jared for dear life as she rode out the tidal wave of pleasure, her limbs starting to tremble against his. Suddenly, she felt Jared's head lay against her shoulder and she heard the deep roar that came from him and his hips freeze, buried against hers. She massaged his shoulders with her fingers slightly, in fear she might of hurt him by gripping on so much before moving her hands into his hair to pull his face up so she could take him in.

His lips were parted, the bottom one glistening with moisture. His eyelids were heavy and his breaths were raspy and quick. Emily smiled up at his beautiful face, and he smiled down at hers, and in that moment it was apparent to the both of them, that they were exactly where they needed to be.

"I fucking love you." Jared spoke with a wobbly voice, still trying to catch his breathe.

"I fucking love you too." Emily replied, placing an everlasting kiss to his forehead and pulling him against her body, wrapping her arms around him tightly until both their chests raised and fell at a steady and calming pace.


	15. FIFTEEN

Emily stared at herself in the full length mirror and couldn't help but feel uncomfortable. She looked gorgeous, there was no question, her body covered in a breathtaking velvet dress and her hair and make-up done for the gods. But she didn't feel like her. She didn't feel comfortable looking like an A-Lister. She didn't feel like herself. 

 

 

The sound of a wolf whistle and the feel of two rough palms grasping her hips brought her head back into reality and she was faced with golden ombre and rough stubble in the glass of the mirror. His dazzling blue eyes sparkled mischievously as she witnessed the smirk spread across his mouth. Instantly she knew his intentions and Emily couldn't keep the breathy chuckle inside.

 

"Don't even think about it." She declared, attempting to push his grip from around her waist. She heard his snicker and it was clear he wasn't going to give up so easily this time.

 

"I'm not doing anything." He played innocent.

 

"Yeah, not now you're not. But give it five minutes and we'll both be tearing at each others outfits like animals."

 

"That sounds like a good idea sweetheart." She felt his arms wrap around her waistline and his lips tease the sweet spot at her neck. Emily bit her lip to control the whimpers that were begging to come out. She wanted him, she always wanted him. But they had somewhere to be, and they were all ready late. She wanted him, but she'd have to have him later.

 

"Baby, come on. We're late all ready. And this dress took me forever to get into and if you take it off then it's only gonna take another 30 minutes to get back into-"

 

"Okay! Okay." He interrupted. Jared spun his woman around in his arms so he was face to face with her. He held her delicate skin between his two palms and gazed down into the brown aura's she possessed. "I just couldn't control myself babe. You look... you look stunning Em."

 

Emily's brows furrowed unintentionally. She didn't mean for them too, but after all this time, and even after all his love, she still was her harshest critic and the small voice still remained that would put her down. Jared caught the subtle movement instantly and she felt him exasperate against her. 

 

"Would you stop!" Jared sighed, throwing his head backwards, his eyes closed as he breathed in deeply through his nostrils. 

 

"I can't help it." Emily spoke in a small voice. She glanced down at her body. Wide and pressed against Jared's and couldn't help but feel uncomfortable. She knew he loved her. Big or small. But it was the love she was supposed to have for herself that she was struggling to get to grips with. And it made her feel terrible, because women were meant to indulge in this time of their lives but she was struggling to find the beauty that Jared seemed to constantly see.

 

"Emily. How many times do I have to remind you, you are not fat." Jared's palms lifted her gaze back to his.

 

"I am though! I'm huge!" Emily's voice reminded him of a child's and he couldn't help but envision what was to come. A smile sneaked onto his lips.

 

"You're supposed to be!" Jared leaned forward and placed a loving kiss to Emily's forehead. "You're having my baby."

 

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This was the third time in the past 20 minutes that Emily had to excuse herself from the table to pee. And Jared couldn't help but find it adorable. He never, not in a million years, ever expected that he would be so excited and so willing towards fatherhood. He wasn't young, he understood that thoroughly, and as he aged the dream of having a family became slighter and slighter. But there he was, sat at a charity event, much like the one they first met at, with his girl by his side, and their baby growing healthily away. He'd had names picked out, he had clothes bought, he had the nursery ready to go. He finally felt fulfilled. 

 

He felt her plonk herself down in the seat next to him and his head automatically fell in that direction. Her face was flushed and her hair was a bit chaotic. He didn't need her to tell him that she'd been struggling with her dress, he knew all ready. He felt somewhat guilty. Jared knew she wasn't comfortable, physically and mentally and Emily had made it quite clear to him that all she wanted to do was to sit on the coach, in his old oversized shirts and boxers, watching Netflix. But he insisted she'd accompany him to the event.

 

Everyone knew. It wasn't a secret for long, that Emily and Jared were an item. The paparazzi quickly caught them together. And honestly, they only had themselves to blame. When it came down to it, they had every opportunity to be secretive, to sneak around and have the pleasure of privacy. But they were selfish. They wanted to go out. Jared wanted to take her to restaurants and wine and dine her and Emily wanted to go out and laugh with him and be free and silly. So they did,.

 

"You good?" Jared leaned himself into her. Not being able to stay away. His nose buried into the hair that fell over her ear, breathing the fruity smell of it. Emily nodded her reply, and turned her head towards him, placing a playful kiss to the tip of his button nose causing the two of them to grin at each other like fools in love.

 

"What did I miss?" Emily asked, lacing her fingers between his. 

 

"Not much. A few vultures circling."

 

"Oh yeah? What did they want to know?"

 

"Oh, you know. The usual. Although..." Jared trailed off and Emily glanced at him, noting how his tone turned serious. Jared's gaze met hers and it was as if everybody else in the room faded away. "A few people have clocked the ring." Jared squeezed her hand against his, the same hand that held the little gold band, the subject of people's gossip as Emily's gaze wobbled. 

 

They hadn't told anyone. The severity of their commitment was one thing the pair of them didn't want plastered on every tabloid imaginable. People knew they were an item, however they didn't know just yet that they were engaged to be married and about to be parents. Emily had seen the headlines, the blog posts. The pictures of her just walking around L.A with a small round bump projecting slightly ever so much underneath her shirt. People weren't stupid and it scared Emily how quickly people caught on to her trying to protect her and Jared's little secret. 

 

"What did you say?" Jared could hear in Emily's voice that the panic was slowly coursing through her, and he didn't want her to worry. He wanted them to be open. He wanted to scream it from the rooftops that they were happy and he was going to be a dad and a husband. Something he didn't even realize he wanted out of life until she stumbled into his. 

 

"I didn't say anything." Jared's eye never faltered.

 

"What do you mean?" Emily's eyebrows creased in confusion.

 

"I didn't say anything." Jared chuckled slightly, trying to lighten the mood. "It's nobodies business babe." She felt his fingers lace between hers and she knew in that moment that he was right. She worried constantly about what everyone on the outside thought. She encountered so many sleepless nights, worrying about what people would say when they discovered that she was pregnant. She knew she wasn't worthy of Jared and she was terrified that everyone else would soon know as well when they discovered that her and Jared were about to start a family.

 

"Em, what's wrong?" Jared squeezed her fingers between his and turned his body to face her. "You have that look on your face, I can see you worrying about something. Tell me babe." Jared leaned forward and nudged his nose through Emily's loose, flowing hair. She shuffled too and fro somewhat before looking into his eyes. 

 

"I just, I'm scared what people will say..."

 

"Say about what?"

 

"Me. I'm scared of what they're going to say about me." 

 

Jared let out an exasperated sigh. He hated the fact that she was worried about what pathetic reporters and journalists would inevitably say about her, but he couldn't blame her. He knew her self esteem was shot to hell, he'd seen her at her lowest and he picked her up all those times. Jared was fully aware of how fragile and delicate the girl sat beside him, the girl he got down on one knee for, the girl he chose to have a baby with, truly was. He saw straight through that tough exterior and had seen the true Emily. So honestly, he was worried too. Worried that Emily would take to heart what the tabloids would say and she couldn't, not in this town, not if she wanted to keep her sanity. All he could do was remind her, just how much she meant to him.

 

"Baby, I need you to listen to me. Listen very carefully. Whatever they say, whatever they say is bullshit. It's meaningless. The people that will talk, and there will be people talking I won't lie to you, have absolutely no fucking impact on our lives, okay? You are my entire life now Em. I couldn't manage without you, you have no idea. Every day you're what I'm thinking about above anything else. And I know you think that I saved you, and I guess in some ways I did, but you saved me too. You saved me from despair and you gave me acceptance and honesty. You are just as much my savior as I am yours. And whatever opinions the reporters have are pointless, complete and utter shit. Because they're not gunna bother us, right?"

 

Emily's face was shining and Jared saw the twinkling in her eyes from tears yet to fall. He'd be concerned that tears were about to fall if she wasn't pregnant, her emotions had been doing flips and he'd barely kept up with the mood swings, but the 24 watt smile adorn her mouth was enough to let him know she was far from upset. Emily sniffed softly and unlaced her fingers from between his as Jared watched her every move with full attention. Emily gazed up at him with nothing but admiration and love in her eyes and held onto the lapel of his black blazer. She tugged him towards her as her other hand reached up to touch his stubble covered cheek. She kissed him then, her lips touching his in a motion so innocent, but with a fire so intense. The two of them might as well of been on a different planet, nothing around them seemed to exist as all they felt and saw was each other. As they slowly broke away from each other, their eyes never left, brown locked to blue. The smiles mirror images on their faces.

 

"Right." Emily replied, taking Jared's hand in hers once more.


End file.
